I just went to see “Hope Springs.” Just in case you’ve been in a bomb shelter these last few weeks,and missed the media blitz, “Hope Springs” is Meryl Streep’s new movie. She and Tommy Lee Jones portray a long married couple whose marriage has lost its spark under the weight of the banality of everyday life and the pain of the many little bumps and bruises that combine to create signifcant wounds.
Is there something both frightening and ironic that while waiting for the lights to go down in the theatre, I could see at least two couples, each individual on separate cell phones, texting, tweeting, or surfing? These were not young couples (There were NO young couples at this movie.) No, these were our contemporaries. Is there a lesson in here for us?
Yes, consult a lawyer, and ask the lawyer if its legal to have a keylogger installed onto your husbands computer to verify or not that he has porn on it. It might be useful when the divorce comes up...
Hey, we need all the ammunition we can get a
I know just what you mean, Flower Bear. I try to limit processed foods altogether but I really need a convenient way to control my calories at lunch and the frozen bags and boxes just work for me.
I will try the one you recommended. Thanks for sha
Consult a divorce attorney and have them calculate exactly what your position post divorce would be. If you are willing to accept a smaller home by forcing the sale of the existing one, would that work? Surely better to get him out of your hair. D
Thank you, Mimi. That's where I find my Mom now, too - in my heart. Her good advice is always there. It sounds like your Mom had words of wisdom that we all could use. Thanks again.
It is sad to see people doing that,when the movie is about to start,or even when it has started…we always turn them off,we dont want to be interupted,we have respect for others and ourselves too….I think when i see those our age,they may be trying to hard to keep up with the younger set….
Bren
Is it upsetting that they are not talking to each other, or that they are in a theater?
Here’s my thoughts: I am 53, and my 3 sons communicate via text & most of it is brief: what temp. Should the oven be? What time can u pick me up? Is it OK if Tony comes over?
AND
I have a husband that works overseas! With the time change & his constant changing schedule, I am never sure WHEN he will call me. I have been known to stop and sit down in the middle of food shopping, etc. to fully give my attention! People stare as if they are personally offended. But that 15 minute call might be the only time in days that we can catch each other.
AND when my husband is in the States, he has to oversee operations which means interruptions, and could require a 2 minutes of his time wherever he is.
I guess my stance is that there are 2 groups of people: those that must be available, like a doctor!, by use of cell phone, and those that don’t know when to shut them off. I don’t think we can judge just by their age or hair color. Hopefully any one with this kind of technology will use some judgment…
What I thought was ironic was that these couples were at a movie about couples drifting apart and here they were doing just the kind of thing that leads to drifting apart.
I remember that one of the reasons my mother loved car trips was that it was a time that my father could not be on the phone with clients and she had his undivided attention. When my kids got their driver’s licenses, I loved not having to be at their beck and call, but I missed the opportunity for conversation when we were driving together. One of the unintended consequences of them having cell phones was that I no longer answered the phone, took their messages and had a moment of conversation with their friends. When they bought their own televisions for their rooms, we no longer found a common ground laughing over the latest episode of “Friends”. It is my belief that technology is a dual edged sword. We can be in contact all the time, but we’ve lost something as well, and that was what struck me at the movies.
I understand everyone’s point on this thread because I’ve done it all including sitting down in the grocery store to have a conversation and being annoyed at being so tied to my device. The point that technology is a double edged sword is valid. I’ve never had a television in any room other than one in the den for the very reason you described. I usually set a timer when I’m on the internet so I get off within a reasonable time. But, oh that phone…..you know the computer that makes calls.
I love getting and giving quick information with texts or just touching base when I don’t feel like having a whole conversation. It’s a short hand way of communicating. I do miss long newsy letters and phone calls. I still have a few friends that I have those with and I’m grateful for them.
I love it because it makes my life soooo much easier and yet, so much more convoluted at the same time. I have started putting it in the backseat when I drive and unplugging completely after 8PM and on Sundays. I’m not always successful, but I feel so much more balanced when I do.
I love the idea of putting it in the backseat. The recent television campaign against texting and driving – the one that shows the oh so important texts (NOT) that caused a life changing accident, is chilling.
Couldn’t agree more that the new technologies can really intrude on what once was conversation time whether that be in the family room around a board game instead of the TV, or while running errands in the family car when the kids talk about their friends, or the new teacher, etc.
Now that you mentioned the movie, I am intrigued and will look for it, and learn from that as well as. The comments here. And I will try the backseat idea for the cell.
My husband is a truck driver. We talk on the phone almost all day while he is on the road. It helps the time pass for him. Plus we miss each other.
Sometimes directions to his pick-up/delivery may not be clear so I find directions for him on the computer and help hime get into places.
If we go out to dinner to a movie shopping we both carry our cell phones. He has his in case the company needs to get in touch. I carry mine because my folks live in another state and my dad is not in good health. We do put our phones on vibrate when we are at the movies or dinner and we do not answer until we can step outside.
I hope you all understand – this wasn’t a condemnation of cell phones. My honey travels for a living as well and we talk when he can talk, which sometimes isn’t the most convenient of times. But when he’s home and we’re out on a date the phone is for emergency use only. If the kids call (actually MY kids) I answer, of course…but we don’t have a chat, just an exchange of information. If my mother calls, I answer, same for him – but if a friend calls, an email comes through, or something that I know can wait, I put it aside. If we’re on a date I try to give him as much attention as I can. I don’t want to wind up like the couple in the movie!