Does anyone feel like the you go crazy planning, shopping, baking, cooking, wrapping gifts, decorating the house, and it’s all over in a few hours and you still have the mess to clean up. And it seems like it’s getting to be a big chore more and more every year? It gets harder and harder to get in the Xmas spirit. It’s not that I don’t want to make my dear family happy, but I think I am getting burned out on holidays as I get older. I told my daughters 39 & 37 when I turn 60 I won’t do the holidays anymore, I will help you..they were like “MOM NO” any commnets…????
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Sounds very interesting.
Yes, I think that the kids should share in the work as well as the enjoyment. I took over everything for my Mom a few years ago when she was in her late 60′s .. ..But, I won’t have to wait that long, cause now my daughter wants to share in it….and my sister and her family also take part…..the guys, well , not so much, and our son, whose single , usually contributes the drinks , chips, and dip….and they are all in their 20′s…..Your daughter’s in their 30′s should definitely be taking some of the load of your back….they will actually get more out of the season, eventually, by helping out…Don’t wait until you are sixty! =]
Don’t wait any longer to “pass the Christmas torch” They will be more enjoyable when your loaded is lifted..goodluck!
My daughter in law took over Christmas Day this year for the first time and I loved it!! She and my son did not want to travel with the 2 small children ( 4 an 1) so they offered and I readily accepted. My husband and daughter were a little upset, it wasnt going to be MY tenderloin recipe, but they went along wtih it graciously. My daughter in law is a wonderful cook, OK so the meat was a little overdone because the potatoes didnt cook as fast as she thought they would, but it was still delicious, and i got to play with my grandchildren while she worked in the kitchen. Now if I could just get one of them to take over Thanksgiving!!
Christmas is different for me since our move seven yrs ago. I miss all the hubbub, the noise, the Christmas rush, decorations, parties and being a part of the seasons greetings. Oh, we have Christmas here too. The whole town lacked the decorations on the street lights downtown, in the parking lots and even on the outsides of stores. Huh, surely makes it hard to get into the spirit. If it were’nt for the Salvation Army folks outside clanging away, I wouldn’t have known it was Christmas.
We have gone our own way. My daughter and son and their families stay where they are. No command performances to come our way with my grand-babies. The traveling is hard on them. We go there instead about every other year. Easier on everyone. Miss our togetherness very much. I’m sure my daughter would be right there beside me organizing and cooking. Even my sons cook and they would have me sit and watch and suggest once in a while. Doesn’t matter if the potatoes are cold or the gravy lumpy. We have the greatest fun when we’re all celebrating together. Next year. I’m already planning.
Gift giving has changed for us. Instead of piles of packages under the tree, we have the thoughtful carefully picked out nicely wrapped gifts. They mean so much more to us. No one feels obligated to buy expensive gifts.
i was a single mom for most of my kids growing up years. raised them to be adventurous, not depend on anyone else, be who you are and not what your environment tells you to be. so, in Y2K our little family went its separate ways. except for once for a graduation, the four of us have not been together anywhere at one time.
i had to ‘work’ christmas eve day. but afterwards i stopped at a dear friend’s and spent a little christmas with her, her housemate, her daughter & boyfriend. we exchanged a couple of meaningful gifts. on my way home, 27 miles away, i stopped to visit with a reclusive man who was once my neighbor. i gave him the couple of food gifts that i had received an hour ago. then home to my little house in the country where i spent the remainder of christmas eve with my dog and cat.
christmas day, i went for a brisk walk with sandy, my dog. brought along a trash bag, and with my little santa hat on, walked up one side then down the other side of my long country road picking up trash. thought i’d give a little christmas gift to the community while enjoying the brisk air. in the afternoon, a young friend of mine called and asked me to come over for a visit. she was beaming as she introduced me to her fiance and excitedly talked about her upcoming wedding.
the spirit of christmas hit me early and i hate to see christmas season move on. thankfully, there’s christmas every year, and i always hope to bring that spirit with me through the new year.
i’ve heard complaints about the hustle and bustle of christmas and wondered – if you don’t like it, then slow it down, consciously slow it down. but if it’s just a general complaint cause you’d be different if you didn’t complain, then complain on, and fall in love with the hustle and bustle all over again. it’s a wonderful time of year, no matter how fast or slow. isn’t it?
What a wonderful way to spend Christmas. I agree and your idea re-gifting the food items was especially generous. When we are given something special, we can choose to keep it or share it. Sharing is always better. Those gifts went a long way. I think Christmas is what we make it. If it’s too much, throw everything out but what you truly enjoy. Everyone around you will enjoy a happy person more than the gift that came with such hardship. I do anyway. We are simple now and I love it.
I absolutely think it’s time to pass the torch! Once we were in our 20s (we’re now all in our 50s), my sisters and I rotated the holidays with our mom. My older sister lives quite a distance away from the rest of us, so my mom and I have been alternately hosting over the last several years and I love to do it. We didn’t celebrate this year because we lost one of my siblings (one of my brothers) just a few months ago and no one was in the mood, but no doubt next year, either my mother or I will be the host. My mom is 79 and pretty spry but there’s no reason why she should carry the burden of cleanup and cooking on Thanksgiving and Christmas year after year.
Well said. She has a wonderful caring daughter. My mother just turned 80 and she wouldn’t be able to do much if anything.
Hope you had a nice Christmas with your Daughter’s family and your grandchild. Memories. Next year will should be different. Hugs!
I completely agree with you! I feel as though I have been doing holidays all my life – I turned 60 last January and told my husband that was it – no more! lol – all he could do was laugh – he knew that would never come to be. Well in May, when my husband passed away unexpectedly, holidays were the last thing on my mind. I must say these holidays were the worst for us ever – and wish I could have passed them right by – but once again I went through all the motions, cooking, serving, etc and once again had the mess to clean up! I’m sure he was looking down at me and saying, you see, you did it again! I don’t think the younger generation has what it takes to do what we did and still continue to do!
Sorry about your loss, Lynsky.
Must disagree with you, though. I don’t think it’s that the younger generation doesn’t have it; I think it’s that some of us don’t like giving up control even though we complain about it.
We like the fuss and attention of having everyone over, even when it’s exhausting. I always enjoy hosting and the vibe I’m getting is that everyone has a great time when they come over. Still, when it’s someone else’s turn, I’m very pleased to come back home to my clean kitchen and have nothing to do but put away the dish I bought back full of leftovers.
I think both you and Lynsky are right. Some of the younger generation really don’t feel the obligation to keep the ball rolling, but also many more work than previously, plus kids have a lot more activities these days and need to be ferried from one activity to another. Three kids, or even two, under driving age can make life exhausting. Other times, the older women don’t want to give up being the hub of family activity; it reminds them of their diminishing capacities, but I’ll bet if you were to take a poll, very few would mind receiving substantial help in both preparation and cleanup. Since I’m an “only” I did it all for more than 30 years, religious and secular and family occasions in between. Any and all of that is impossible for me now, so if I don’t get invited I just stay home. There are other compensations, such as my grandkids living not more than 30 minutes away, so I’m lucky in other ways. But back to the topic, I really think that daughters in their 30′s who are reluctant to help with the holidays are being selfish and immature. We can’t be children forever.
I am 56 and I just have set limitations what I do and don’t do. I enjoy music, church events..baking a little and doing some shopping…I keep my expectations low and enjoy it so much better..if anyone does not like it ..well that is too bad.
I love the decorations, the wrapped gifts, the special treats, the carols, well…just all of it. This year, for the first time, I have realized that I am tired. I turned around and looked at the giant mess (still looking at a lot of it!) and decided that I am finished.
I have no daughters to take over for me…sooo, if I don’t do it, it doesn’t get done. Period. Next year we will meet in a dining hall or private spot…somewhere (?). Money will be given in cards, etc. etc. Simple, simple simple!
I know this will be hard because I’m hooked on all of the merriment, too. As I age, my energy, enthusiasm just isn’t there.
I love my family and will show them this throughout the year. I will warn them early on of the change.
Maybe “The Grinch” knew something, eh? Lol
Every year the same scenario gets really old. We take a few presents to a restaurant at the Casino. Sure alot of people there and leave all of the dirty dishes behind. I don’t gamble either.
I forgot to mention, be sure and bring the camera, they have beautiful decorations that make for an excellant background for your pictures.
“Seems like a big chore” because it is a big chore…It’s work…with daughters at ages 37 & 39? Alternate the holidays…It’s hard to celebrate when you’re exhausted with it,
And when it’s someone’s turn, nobody should have to do it all…someone bake the cookies, someone gets the cleanup duty, etc…
and how about including someone in your agenda each year that can’t afford to have Christmas. The meaning of Christmas is about sharing…come up with a new tradition that puts the Christ back in Christmas…