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my husband thinks he’s always right

I spent a year in therapy ten years ago when my father, mother, and mother-in-law died within one year.  I came out of therapy feeling very healthy and back on track.  I have a job that I adore , a wonderful son and daughter-in-law and two wonderful teen-age grandchildren.  Whenever I disagree with my husband about something,  he tells me I am losing it.  He thinks the only way to do anything is his way.  Any suggestions?

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Posted in family & relationships.

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8 Responses

  1. Generic Image moongoddess says

    It’s hard to be around people who know everything.  Most annoying to those of us who really do (LOL).  I have a son who is like that and when he says something and I say something different or state my opinion, he gets head strong and I have resorted to just saying “OK”.  Then I refuse to argue with him.  I won’t fall for that.  Sometimes its funny because if we find out he’s right or I’m right, we laugh about it.  Just two strong headed people trying to get along.  In your husbands case, I wonder if he is getting seconded guessed sometimes.  Not by you of course but when people get frustrated they can become over the top to those they love because unfortunately, we are in that position of having to put up with it.  Or not!

    Sorry for your loss of loved ones.  That had to be more than anyone should have to endure.

    Hope it works out for you.  Have a great new year.

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    • Dr.She Dr.She says

      Agreed. I have a 20 year relationship with a family member that started out tumultous.  Over the years we’ve made peace with each other and even respect each other.  But it took a while. And for you, adding the extra aspect of this person being your spouse is not easy. I believe and agree with what Moongoddess has written here.

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  2. Generic Image Anikay says

    IMO I think ypu should return to therapy if even short term to empower yourself as to how to deal with your spouse.

    You really need to protect yourself from someone who seeks to disparage you in order to get his way.

     

    good luck to you

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  3. ThurmanLady ThurmanLady says

    I have been through the ‘do it my way’ marriage and finally decided that if I were going to ‘get into trouble’ either way – by doing it his way (which didn’t fit me) or by his unhappiness in doing it my own way – I chose my way.  It worked for me long enough for me to decide it was going to be all my way, on my own.

    I would agree with Anikay.  If he’s using “you’re losing it” to get his way, get back with your counselor to find out how you can deal with him.  No one should rule over another and it sounds rather like a threat to try to make you feel like you are losing it.

    I wish you all the best in this New Year and please let us know how things are from time to time. ♥

     

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  4. Sunblossom Sunblossom says

    I just say “yes, of course dear, and then think, do say what I want…..I guess I’ve just learned to pick my battles (of course I’m the one who is always right..ha)…..in the greater scheme of things it is a non issue for me as to whose opinion is right etc…..I would be more concerned that he still thinks you are “losing” it as a tool to make his point…to kind of use a difficult time in your life to make himself seem better…that is not being right it is being cruel in kind of a passive aggressive way…Iagree with Anikay..

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  5. Debi Drecksler Debi Drecksler says

    Your life seems to be running smoothly with this one exception. I would try a little humor with him…He might lighten up a little.If this doesn’t work… I’m wondering if something might be going on with him?? Maybe he is “losing it” and trying to make it seem like it’s your problem

    My suggestion…Take him out somewhere nice and peaceful (maybe a walk in a park) and try talking to him about it. Express how you feel and see his reaction. Don’t put him on the defensive just be honest. 

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  6. Generic Image Sevres Blue says

    Oh, I completely ‘get’ your year of losses.  Why do you think that has anything to do with your relationship with your husband now?  When someone tells someone they’re ‘losing it’ – it seems to me, anyway – that there’s a high anger/distress level either in your voice or actions.  Just don’t let him ‘bait’ you like that.  If he’s insisting he’s right just know for yourself that he MAY be, but then again, YOU may be, and change the subject or just mmm-hmmm him!  Annoying, I know.  When my husband gets like that I smile and say “I know you know we don’t agree… but that’s OK, right?” and move right along.  

    Actually my husband has a saying “Would you rather be right or be happy?”  And sometimes he says it to me – and I just have to laugh – OK!  I’d rather be happy!  (((hugs))) to you.  Good luck with this.  It must be really bugging you to have posted about it.  

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    • Alicia Alicia says

      I was married to a “right fighter”—36 years.  A big key in relationships is knowing the difference between THEIR stuff and YOUR stuff………if you feel you must say something….say, oh, that is how you see it.”  No discussion.  Done.

       

      I think people who need to be right all of the time are very INSECURE.

       

      you may want to read The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans (not saying what you are experiencing is abuse….but it could be)

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