| my daughter thinks I am stalking her on facebook | Hot Conversation |
Because of my daughter’s “busy” life she rarely calls me anymore so I have to find out what is going on in her life by what she posts on facebook. Recently she came down on me saying I was “stalking” her with my “likes & comments” are her postings. Has anyone else had this problem?
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Shirley,
Did his wife really cheat on him??????? His behavior sounds like he was the cheat, add not the wife. Just be careful with your heart, and make decisions with your head...
While I can understand your frustration at not getting the job, there are a few things I find off.
Not everyone gets promoted in every job. Someone stays behind, and it was you this time. Not sure why you needed to know why? It was their decisi
Obligation is something we make up. It is instead of saying no, when you listen carefully you will hear the VN groan, oh NO, not that again. I strongly suspect women (especially) are raised to be too polite. My experience is: 
Hi Watermusic! Love your response. I have found that once I allowed myself to be open to new ideas and new skills, a whole new world opened up for me. I used to tell myself that I was just useless at certain things because that's what other people to
I love Kashi meals as well although I have to be careful of the sodium amounts as I am on a low-sodium diet. I love the chicken pomodor with penne pasta. If someone would invent a low-fat and low sodium healthy frozen line of meals I would be in heav
I also had the same problem, my kids calling me a “creeper”. I used to “like” and post comments. As I have learned to navigate facebook, I realize that my comments are best left to myself when it comes to my kids. They are not on there for me, but for their friends.
Now, I just watch and look at the pictures, and never comment or like a thing on their pages.
I keep up and they don’t know I do.
I like to see what my kids are doing by looking at facebook. Its a way of keeping in touch without intruding . I believe they think only their real friends are looking and they make their posts silly or funny for them, not for parents.
I rarely comment any more. I am watching but not giving advice. Who wants that anyway? But I can direct message if I want their attention privately.
I keep up with my family on fb because they don’t communicate with me throughout the year. If they post things that are public, hey, I will read it and maybe learn a little more about them. I have learned never to post on the kids pages as Ahnu said!
I am not facebook friends with any of my kids…..we talk, it is so much easier…..To me reading their facebook stuff would be like going to their house and going through their drawers….I would not do that….I think it is part of letting go to not have to know all the time everything that is going on in their lives…after all, they don’t know everything that is going on in mine, and they are all over 21 and on their own….as it should be.
I am my daughter’s biggest FAN so I consider myself a positve factor in her life which means I do post comments on her FB and share links with her. I also friend request a few of her friends who like to send me fb messages from time to time… we tease alot and have fun with it … Her only comment so far is that I put too many links on her fb book so she requested just a couple per week to keep it “special” …
You gotta love ‘em …
I am also fb friends with both my brother’s daughters who live in South Africa. It was so exciting to find them on fb as I have never met them and both are in their 20′s ….
Learned my lesson on this one too. if your children (and let’s face it–we have offspring, not children any more~!) have gifted you with “friend” status on FB……………its a blessing that comes with an obligation to NOT post or like or otherwise indicate your presence.
Just stalk without posting on their page. Thats how I keep up~!!!
When I first got on FB, it was because both of my children encouraged me to do so. They both made me friends & I am friends with many of their friends – and that was always at their request, not vice-versa. they have also invited some of my friends.
I don’t agree that reading their FB posts is like invading their privacy at home – what they’re putting on FB is wildly public – far different from their private home life.
I used to “like” & comment on their pages pretty often. I have backed off that a lot – but have not fully stopped. I do however try to be careful what I say & how I say it.
One of my daughter’s friends Mom used to make a lot of comments on my daughter’s page. She tended to be very negative, bossy, know-it-all’ish & sometimes plain rude. It started really rubbing my daughter the wrong way & she mentioned it to me. I do tease my daughter at times & someone reading some of my comments might think I’m being rude, but anyone that knows her, knows what she’s like & knows it is teasing. But most importantly, she knows that.
I don’t see my son or speak to him as often as I do my daughter, so I always really enjoyed keeping up with him on FB. But he decided it was too much of a time robber & doesn’t post much on it anymore & when he does, it’s rarely anything I comment on. He does do a lot of blogging though & will post links for his new blog. So when I read those I can usually catch up on his life a lot.
I believe the key to an issue like this is to be selective about what you “like” & comment on. Then keep comments light, fun & short.
I Think it depends on the age? My daughters are still quite young 14 and 12 and we have an agreement that they are even allowed to have FB if I am added as a friend – which I am. I make very few comments and usually message privately only when I feel there are pics and or messages posted either by them but usually by their friends which i feel are not in their best interest and need to be removed.
People don’t realize that when employers or potential employers check up now they do so on FB as well. Many people have lost opportunities due to negative postings on facebook! So beware.
Even if a FB is set at private – my daughter has 600 “friends” and they each have the same so there is NOTHING private about it!
There was a young man up this way who lost a $100,000.00 [hundred thousand] scholarship – he speaks now on FB awareness and admits his life was changed due to this loss of opportunity. He had somehow ranted negatively about someone important at this university and posted it on a friends wall and it did eventually make it to the university! Oops! Thanks but no thanks – money went to someone else who was far more appreciative.
Unless our kids, grandkids, welcome our posts, etc., I think we just need to live our own lives and wait for them to call – or text, LOL! My granddaughter thinks I’m “cool” – but blocked me from her FB page – I get it. And it’s ok.
My daughter’s (I have three) are best friends now that they are adults. They come to me for advice and sometimes I go to them for advice as I value their opinion. Only one has a Facebook page but she is so smart and talented that I also learn from her wisdom ( as she does from mine). All three girls are in their thirties now. Facebook is one of my favorite ways to keep up with her and her four children. I love it!
Tell her to put her big girl panties on.
Aw! It is hard to feel left out of a child’s life.
Have a heart to heart with your daughter and tell her that you feel sad and disconnected. My daughter is currently studying in another country and I asked her to just drop me a little email in the middle of the week so that I know she is thinking of me. She is busy, so that’s exactly what I get–a little email, like, “Hi, love you!” but it’s enough for me! We skype on Sundays–if you live far apart, I highly recommend it.
I am not on my daughter’s FB page, and she is not on mine. I would not have wanted my mother knowing all the details of my life, either, so I understand. I figure that if something really important happened, I’d learn about it. We had to work on it, but we have a pretty open relationship.
That’s the thing: In your heart to heart talk, ask for feedback about why your daughter might not be opening up to you. I had to do that recently with a different issue, and it really cleared the air between us. Us moms are tough, we can take it, right?
I agree with Ahnu; read what your daughter has out there publicly for everyone to see, but leave off the comments and “likes” — she rightfully feels it is invasive, that you are trying to hang onto her. My daughter and I read each other’s blogs, but we never comment on them. Also, my daughter expresses herself freely on her blog, using language she wouldn’t use in conversation with me, and she needs to feel I’m not looking over her shoulder and disapproving.
I’m friends with both of my daughters on facebook as well as some of their friends as they are with some of mine. They both know I’m very straight forward in life as well as with comments and likes, and I only post encouraging or funny comments to their walls, anything else I’ll usually PM them, even though I talk to them regularly on the phone. I love facebook for being able to keep in contact with my neices and nephews that I don’t get to see very often. Also with relatives overseas. It lets you be pen pals only it takes seconds and not weeks for a message to arrive. Sometimes you don’t feel like picking up the phone and we always use facebook to communicate when we’re travelling as roaming charges on cell phones are too expensive. If I ever got the feeling that either one of my girls was bothered by my comments I would back off and I know I’ve raised them to express themselves without deliberately hurting anyone.
I didn’t mention in my previous post that my daughter is 42 & my son is 36. They’re adults – not younger teens, etc. If they were younger I would likely be much more cautious about doing anything more than reading.
Crabby, I know that it must hurt your feelings that your daughter is too busy to contact you by phone more often and that she accuses you of stalking. On the one hand we need to respect our childrens’ feelings; on the other hand it sounds like maybe you could talk with her lovingly and let her know that you would like for the two of you to touch base more often by phone because you love her. I think we have a right to express what we want and deserve–after all, we respected our parents by checking in as much as possible. I really feel for you and hope you work things out. You could also tell her that you miss her and that you miss hearing her voice. I know that our generation is more use to making phone calls; these days our childrens’ generation use email. facebook and texting–in my opinion it is really sad; I like hearing a voice once in a while these days!!!