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Marriage after 60….or just live together? Most Liked Hot Conversation

At the ages of 60 and 67 and having been together 6 years, my significant other and I do not discuss marriage, and for the most part it is all working well–except for the constant questioning and pressure from co-workers and acquaintances about then the “big event” might happen.  Any thoughts on marriage after 60??

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Posted in family & relationships, love & sex.

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26 Responses

  1. Generic Image DeborahD says

    marriage after 60, why not? What has age got to do with it? Do what makes you happy!!

    2 like

    • Sunblossom Sunblossom says

      Well it’s not about age, it’s about the hassles from other people who think marriage is the be all and end all….

       

      2 like

  2. Generic Image Hurley Girl says

    I am a wido and I have been dating a man for nearly two years. We love each other very much, However I live in my own house with my unmarried daughter and he lives by himself. We see each other every day and I stay with him on the weekends. I wonder will our relationship stay good if we do not move to the next step which is either married or live together?

    To answer your question: I think you should tell everyone at work that you will let them know when you know.

    3 like

    • Generic Image boston1953 says

      You are VERY smart to keep your own home and not move in with your significant other.  Stay that way until/or not you and he decide you both want to marry.  I respect you.   I made a major blunder of moving in my S/O home and now I am lost as the relationship is crumbling.

      1 like

  3. Generic Image Bonnie F says

    My now husband & I lived together for 10 years…eloped to Las Vegas for my 60 birthday.Loved it the first time he called me his wife!Do It…Why not?

    3 like

  4. Generic Image Adplus says

    My husband and I are both 62 years old.  We got married 8 months ago.  It hasn’t been easy because we are both very independent people who have lived independent lives.  I am glad we got married.  No one can make that decision for you.

    I hope you make the decision that makes both of you happy.

    3 like

  5. fayetteSIPP fayetteSIPP says

    What ever makes you happy at this point ,as far as your co-workers , tell them they will be the first to know , so you can make a list of all the people interested and give them envelopes to drop in their weddiing gift in money, since at this age you want for nothing except financial planning…..they probably won’t be reminding you about that date no time soon(LOL)

    2 like

    • Sunblossom Sunblossom says

      Thanks, I really am ok with it the way it is, as we are both committed to the relationship…..I just hate the feeling (and sorrowful looks sometimes) I get when the gals I work with act likeyou can’t be complete without marriage, that it is a less than ideal state….well I also work in a church, which doesn’t help anything…..my relationship currently is better than my 29 marriage ever was….full of respect, mutual interests, separate interests, and a great support…..I just have to get thicker skin I guess…..love the idea about the money envelopes…..I should charge every time they ask if marriage is on the horizon….I’d be rich…ha

      2 like

      • Generic Image Bele says

        How funny! Fayette I am going to use your line. I hear the same thing and am sick of it! Sunblossom…..Don’t get pushed into anything. I have a three year relationship and we do not live in the same house. We have a very committed relationship. I work for my church in a rather very part time way. We are 58 and 65 and have our own life, children, hobbies and interests. We have mutual friends, interests, hobbies and desires. He visits me and I visit him. I like my self and do not feel I need to be married to be complete. When people ask me when we are getting married I always respond with “Why do you ask? Are you in need of a shopping trip to buy us a gift? Maybe I am married and just like living in two houses.” They usually don’t ask again.

        4 like

    • Generic Image Martini Girl says

      This comment made my day.  LADIES!  This is really what we have to do – approach things with humour!

       

      fayette – thank you for your comment – still has me laughing …

      1 like

  6. Generic Image oftheflowers says

    I want to remarry for several reasons.  You mention that you have a daughter, and this made me think of one of the reasons I want to remarry.  I have a son.  During the divorce between his dad and me, my son asked me, how am I ever going to get married?  I won’t know how to do this.  

    As a result, I feel a responsibility to model to my son what a healthy relationship looks like between a man and a woman who both have children.  To me, this means that I will have to remarry.  I want to show my son how a wife treats and husband, and a husband treats a wife, and how this look with children involved.  This way, hopefully my son will stand a greater chance of entering into a healthy marriage one day for himself , his wife and  children.

    4 like

    • Generic Image oftheflowers says

      Oh, I see that it is Hurley Girl who is living with her daughter.  If you have children, my message might resonate for you.

      0 like

      • Generic Image Hurley Girl says

        My daughter loves the man I am dating however she said she would not like him to even stay over in my house even for a night. That is why I go to his house to stay with him once a week. I dont know how else to handle this. I dont want her to feel insecure by letting him stay in my house.

        1 like

  7. shirleyinnw shirleyinnw says

    I don’t know bout 60, but I have been living with my “”boyfriend”", for several years happily.   Neither of us has children, so feel no need to justify our relationship to anyone.  He is 58.   I am 55.   Do what is right & comfortable for you & do not be influenced by others.   Good Luck!

     

    0 like

  8. northernnarnian northernnarnian says

    My partner and I have been living together for 3 years and do not want to marry.  Both of us have been married twice.  We love choosing each other every day.  We especially love not getting dragged back into the “supposedly safe” emotional traps of traditional marriage roles, such as giving up your authentic feelings to get along better.  I love maintaining my own independence financially.  When people ask me when we are getting married, I simply say neither of us wants to, and that is it.  We are happy now– why mess it up?

    3 like

  9. JudithB JudithB says

    My story won’t make you feel warm and fuzzy all over. But, I hope it’ll be a warning to other women to be aware of trickery.

    Someday, I’ll tell it but till then, may I say…if you decide to Shack-Up with someone, treat it like a Business Agreement and first hand, get everything on paper,  signed , sealed and delivered..regarding WHO owns WHAT and what promises are made between yourself and your significant other.

    Protect yourself because at ages 50 and up, it’s damn hard to start over. 

     

    3 like

    • Generic Image Bele says

      Very smart and that too is a reason I will not live with or marry again.

      2 like

    • Sunblossom Sunblossom says

      Well, what I didn’t lose in the divorce, I have purged totally, I don’t own anything but necessities, bank owns the car, I do not have a credit card, and have no significant money, no promises made,  certainly don’t want any of his “stuff” so nothing to write down…..at this stage one should be aware that even if you are “shacked up” you are still on your own and responsible for yourself…..

      2 like

  10. copper copper says

    Everhear the old saying “if it feels good ,do it” ?   If marriage is something that feels good when you think about it then get er done !! If not,, dont allow peoples questions to force you into something that you have had for 6 years.. Do we hear wedding Bells yet ??  Just be Happy and Content with ur Partner untill one of the 2 of you starts asking when / if         a “big event” might happen.

    0 like

  11. lesliea lesliea says

    I am 55 and have been living with my partner, 50 for 2 years.  We probably will not get married but do plan a public committment ceremony at some point.  We both have kids, which is part of the reason to keep things separate.  I was married twice- both my husband walked (they both said “you’re great, I’m just not the sort of person who should be married- guess I know how to pick ‘em) so being married gives me no sense of security.

    Ignore your well-meaning coworkers.

    0 like

  12. Generic Image nikarmr says

    we r “looking at the future” w/respect 2 retirement benefits, pensions, etc.  we have been living together 4 years-currently ages 60 + 63.  any thoughts on marrying or not w/ respect 2 receiving benefits of any kind?. 

    0 like

    • Sunblossom Sunblossom says

      Well from a financial standpoint it makes sense to take the two incomes and run with them…..I was tinking over the weekend though, if one of us were ill and a medical decision would have to be made, I would want him to do it, and he would not legally be able to do something like that, at least I’m pretty sure of that….so other tings to consider…..

      0 like

  13. donnagene donnagene says

    I am 64 (divorced 5 years ago from a 30 yr. marriage). My significant other is 67 (married 4 times and divorced 8 years). We have committed to each other our love after a 4 month relationship. I can see where he should be nervous about marrying again. I am also nervous about this prospect. I am very uncomfortable with a “live-together” relationship. I just don’t think I can give up my single life for a “live-together” relationship. We have talked about everything and our feelings toward each other. We cannot not see a future without us being together forever.

    Am I crazy to feel uncomfortable about a live-in relationship? Neither of us have a lot of money or belongings that would need to be considered a problem in a new relationship. Our children do not know much of our relationship or strong feelings for each other. I am not worried about them, since it is our lives that are important in this decision. His five children and my four are all grown and have their own lives and families.They do not live anywhere near us.

    I may be old-fashioned and do not judge people who prefer to live together. My mother met her current husband at the age of 70. I have never seen such a wonderful, loving couple. They dote on each other and are still going strong at 87. About 15 years ago, I suggested they get married in the church to be right with God. The marriage was in God’s eyes, but not on paper, filed with the state. All children are acceptable with their relationship.

    I asked my stepfather “when did you first know you loved my mother”. He quickly said, “The minute I saw her.”

    While I was not looking for a mate, I knew if I found someone, I did not want to let him get away. Well, I have met him, and he does not want to go away.

    So what is the next step?

    1 like

  14. Lgood67334 Lgood67334 says

    I’m fascinated that so many of us are out here. My fiance wants to get married asap. I’m committed to him but want to wait for marriage.
    Those of you who say that ultimately the decision is ours are exactly right. We’re the only ones who can close this gap and figure out what’s right for both of us.

    0 like

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