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Marriage After 50 Hot Conversation

What’s the opinion of marriage after 50?  Especially when there are adult children involved and inheritance issues.  Is it wrong for me to feel like I don’t want the hassle?  I love a very special guy but there are too many issues……why get married?

Posted in family & relationships, love & sex.

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14 Responses

  1. Generic Image patkosan says

    I am a widow of 10 years and in a relationship for 6 years he is wonderful and we are great together, however, the adult children are a problem and it is because of the inheritance I am sure, we have made a committment to each other for the rest of our lives, and I am happy with that and we keep our own finances what is his is his and what is mine is mine, meaning inheritance, and we are HAPPY.  I could say more but not open for all to read. If your are happy stay happy at our age marriage isn’t the only answer love and happiness is.

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  2. Generic Image Jo Q says

    I just broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years.  He and I are both heartbroken, but I am happy right now that we never married.  No drawn out legal hassles and paperwork to cause more pain.

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  3. zblair zblair says

    Marriage at any age is a personal preference. In my case I am glad I remarried at 43 (we got together when I was 40).

    As for adult children, let them sort out their own issues. No adult child should be dictating to a parent what to do with their money or material goods unless that parent is incapable of making decisions and that adult child legally has a POA.

    2 like

    • Generic Image Barbara Dubeau says

      Argreed, I just remarried at 51, everytime I spend money, I tell the lovingley that I am spending their Inheratance.  We have no problem with our adult children one of my sons still lives with us. You can still be married and make Inheratance provisions for your children.  Any child holding their parent hostage, needs to grow up.

      2 like

    • foxyb foxyb says

      HIS daughter is the one that REMINDS him that the place is hers.  She’ll take down the house and build a new house.  He always asks her if she can wait until his body is cold at least.  I have mixed emotions about it all……..I was not raised to think about what I will get when my parents die!  I’ll be devastated!  I haven’t raised my son to COUNT on an inheritance either so I really disrespect this kind of attitude.

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    • Generic Image Dow says

      I agree with you 100%.

      1 like

  4. zblair zblair says

    If the children are holding a parent hostage over money, then they are missing the best part of the equation: the person involved.

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  5. Generic Image Anonymous1 says

    I agree with ZBlair. I remember when my own mother passed and my dad asked us as his kids if it was ok for him to re-marry.  Note, he didn’t have to ask us a darn thing but he did and we wished him the best.  Whatever your honey-bunny has earned in HIS life time is HIS, not his daughters. 

    Unless YOU want the house, I would re-assure her that it is HER house and let it go.

    Personally, I would tell him HE AND I need our own place and to sell it and buy something else with the money then that house is YOUR house and HIS and takes the daughter OUT of the equation.  It’s hard to move into a man’s place or he into yours.  It’s best to sell and buy something else that belongs to both of you.  I realize this is a down market and  this may sound difficult but you can always pull the equity out of your house and his  and rent them out to generate the income to pay the mortgage.  Use the money from the equity loan of both houses to buy YOUR place…the home of foxyb and her very special guy. 

    Then you have saved both houses and his daughter can inherit the rental home and your kids can inherit yours.  It can be stated in your trust that the new home is to be sold and $$$ split equally among both his and your kids.   

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  6. Generic Image CACTUSGIRL08 says

    I WOULD MAKE SURE THE NEW HUSBAND UNDERSTOOD WHAT YOUR WISHES ARE.

    MAKE SURE YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN GET THEIR RIGHTFUL SHARE

    OF THEIR INHERITANCE.  AND GIVE YOUR NEW HUSBAND A SHARE ALSO!  BUT

    YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDKIDS HAVE BEEN IN YOUR LIFE THE LONGEST!!!  AND IF

    YOUR NEW LOVE (HUSBAND) CAN’T ACCEPT YOUR WISHES, THAN YOU KNOW HE

    IS NOT THE ONE TO MARRY.   NEVER LET A MAN COME BEFORE YOUR CHILDREN AND

    GRANDKIDS!!!

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  7. zblair zblair says

    Foxyb, if his daughter inserts her wishes into your relationship with your man and he allows this, then that would be the bigger question here. Why does he allow THAT?

    Having lived in step for a long while I can tell you it can really get ugly when any children but adult children in particular try to force an issue so that the man in this situation has to PICK between his children and someone he loves. There are a LOT of reasons why this happens, but unfortunately it does. With younger children it is understandable that they would feel threatened, but with adult children? Oh H-E-L-L NO!

    If you sign up for a life with your man, then that is the only equation you and he should be concerned with. Whatever financial issues/arrangements exist with his kids are HIS to sort out but you want to be VERY concerned if HIS DAUGHTER or anyone else dictates to him what he does with his life.No matter the situation, HE is the parent and it is not the other way round.

    If that is the situation here, I would not marry that person knowing what I know now, I’d just live with him. As Barbara D mentioned, the children need to grow up. As Lovelysmile mentioned also, create a place for the two of you that’s YOURS so that no ownership can be threatened. Nobody wants or needs to share a husband’s loyalty to his children, you want to live harmoniously if at all possible. Harmoniously IMHO means everyone in this situation respects proper boundaries.

    2 like

    • Generic Image Barbara Dubeau says

      I would like to know why the daughter is insisting it is HER HOUSE?  Has she been making the payments on it?

      Has her father drawn up a will leaving her the house already?  Is the house in her name?  If none of the above applies, then she has a problem.  I think daddy needs to put her in her place.  I also was not raised to expect anything in life that I did not earn myself, I did receive an inheratance when my parents passed, but prior to their passing I was always telling them to spend their money, cuz I wld just spend it when they were gone.  If one of my children did that to me, beleive me they wouldn’t see a dime.   She sounds like a spoiled brat, that needs a rude awakining.

      1 like

  8. Generic Image patriciadiane says

    I got married again at age 40 something and I tell you it is horrible…i knew he abuses his first wife and thought oh it was just her…no I am afraid not. His kids know what he is like but take his side of course. When they dcome over they dont lift a finger to help, they dopnt talk to me and he takes their sides…unless you work things out before hand, watch out.

    0 like

  9. Generic Image Cindy B says

    Not wrong.  According to my attorney (going through a divorce) sign a live together paper stating you are not married to save yourself a lot of trouble if it doesn’t work out.

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