So….looking back, my 5-yr marriage served one good purpose…I got to be “mom” to two darling children (boy 9 yrs old and girl 5 yrs old). I was left alone often to take care of them while their dad was on the road. OTR truckdriver. We had very little contact with their mom because she was off finding herself in another state and dealing with her own problems. Truthfully, I think the two years they stayed with me was the first time they had any sort of stability in their lives. I loved and nurtured them like my own. I taught them values and took them to church with me. Their dad was gone alot. Maybe that’s how we got along so well, only seeing him 2 days out of 10. Two years into the marriage, their mom showed up unannounced with her boyfriend on our doorstep. Long story short, she ended up “kidnapping” the kids and taking them to TX. It wasn’t really kidnapping because they had no formal custody arrangements, but I would call it kidnapping from my perspective. It was the worst heartbreak of my life. I would even say more tragic than the divorce a couple years later. I have always thought about these two children (grown-ups now) and prayed for them every day, but had very little contact before the divorce and only one or two times talking to their mom and “our” little girl once after the divorce. That was in 1995.
I spent 10 years without any contact from anyone and then out of the blue my ex called me from OTR and we got together at a truck stop for breakfast. I myraid of feelings gushed over me. Long story short, he and I became friends and have had an on again off again relationship ever since. But it has turned out that I have a co-dependent personality and he is “needy”. Right now it is OFF, although I still think about him more often than I should.
I’ve never forgotten the kids and happened onto a FB page of my stepson last night. He looks really happy and is engaged. In one of the posts I read he just had a conversation with his dad after YEARS and was going to visit him. Deep down in my heart, I would love to contact him too, but without having anything to do with his dad. He is an adult now. Should I just let this go? He and his sister were such a major part of my life in the 90′s.
How can I and what should I do to fill my aching heart.
Thanks, I will definitely let you know. The nurse said that she was going to do a little on the lips. I sure don't want the trout pout.
Thanks for your advice. I'm getting more excited than nervous now.
Roadrunner - absolutely nothing drastic about it. When you first get the botox (forehead and eyes) you will see a change that will level off in a few days or one week. It looks completely natural. You CANNOT frown no matter how hard you try! Be very 
I’m going out on a limb here because I don’t have kids of any type, but human nature is human nature. I think that when we hold back from contacting people it’s a fear of rejection. A bunch of “what ifs?” What if I send him a message and he doesn’t respond?
If I were in your place, I would send the son a private Facebook message and see what happens. He might or might not respond, but you took a powerful step by contacting him.
You have nothing to lose. I would contact him. I am sure they/he haven’t forgotten how you loved them.
The regrets we have are what we have NOT done.
I agree with Marian and Alicia. If you can live with the worst thing that may happen – either no response or a “no”- the risk may be well worth it; if it is a yes it has the potential of being a wonderful experience.
My kids love when I tell them stories of when they were little. Even if these two adult’s memories of you are sketchy, they may enjoy hearing your loving memories of them.
Please let us know what happens!
Thanks for your insight. I am going to wait a little while because of his upcoming reunion with his dad he hasn’t seen for years. Maybe around Christmas
First time I blogged. I like this site. It’s therapeutic I tend to keep a lot inside. Thanks again.