So….looking back, my 5-yr marriage served one good purpose…I got to be “mom” to two darling children (boy 9 yrs old and girl 5 yrs old). I was left alone often to take care of them while their dad was on the road. OTR truckdriver. We had very little contact with their mom because she was off finding herself in another state and dealing with her own problems. Truthfully, I think the two years they stayed with me was the first time they had any sort of stability in their lives. I loved and nurtured them like my own. I taught them values and took them to church with me. Their dad was gone alot. Maybe that’s how we got along so well, only seeing him 2 days out of 10. Two years into the marriage, their mom showed up unannounced with her boyfriend on our doorstep. Long story short, she ended up “kidnapping” the kids and taking them to TX. It wasn’t really kidnapping because they had no formal custody arrangements, but I would call it kidnapping from my perspective. It was the worst heartbreak of my life. I would even say more tragic than the divorce a couple years later. I have always thought about these two children (grown-ups now) and prayed for them every day, but had very little contact before the divorce and only one or two times talking to their mom and “our” little girl once after the divorce. That was in 1995.
I spent 10 years without any contact from anyone and then out of the blue my ex called me from OTR and we got together at a truck stop for breakfast. I myraid of feelings gushed over me. Long story short, he and I became friends and have had an on again off again relationship ever since. But it has turned out that I have a co-dependent personality and he is “needy”. Right now it is OFF, although I still think about him more often than I should.
I’ve never forgotten the kids and happened onto a FB page of my stepson last night. He looks really happy and is engaged. In one of the posts I read he just had a conversation with his dad after YEARS and was going to visit him. Deep down in my heart, I would love to contact him too, but without having anything to do with his dad. He is an adult now. Should I just let this go? He and his sister were such a major part of my life in the 90′s.
How can I and what should I do to fill my aching heart.