| letting go of children |
I have such a hard time with it. They left 1.5 and 2.5 years ago, and I still miss them so much. Any suggestions? I am so often sad on Sundays, and would like to get over it.
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There is no such thing as a legal separation in my state..The only way I can get husband out of the house is to force him out..He refuses to leave..I would have to file for divorce and get temporary orders including a restraining order..
I feel so
doggiediva - I live in Florida which is a no fault divorce state. Everything that was accumulated during a marriage has to be divvied up 50/50. Unfortunately, he has nothing but the house to offer you. Because of your health situation he may not be e
I have tried being obnoxious and very hard to live with in hopes of getting him out of the house and my hair, but that didn't work, lol..
I didn't need a key logger, husband accidentally left his browser open one day before leaving the house..I printed out all of the e-mails and kept them in a safe place..I showed these e-mails to 2 of the 5 lawyers I consulted..Both said that they w
Yes, consult a lawyer, and ask the lawyer if its legal to have a keylogger installed onto your husbands computer to verify or not that he has porn on it. It might be useful when the divorce comes up...
Hey, we need all the ammunition we can get a
I understand – my kids are now 22 and 24, and my son has lived at home but is rarely there. My daughter is in another state completely. I’m not sure I have the answer for how to deal with this sadness, other than – find ways to reintroduce yourself to you. Do something you’ve always wanted to do for yourself. Find your own story again. I’m working on a seminar for women our age on this very topic. Think about what you loved to do as a kid and then find things that feed that passion. This is your time – you just have to remember who you are. Again.
Are you married? I found that my husband and I reconnected in a very different and positive way after my kids left home. Also, I agree with donnah22, you must find something new to channel all of the passion you put into your children – for me it’s blogging. Social media is a great way to connect with others in your situation. Best of luck!
Feelings aren’t right or wrong….my 2 children are 31 and 42! Because I lived with an abuser, (divorced after 31 years of abuse; the household always being in an uproar) we weren’ t close, although I gave them all of the love i had.
I made the best decision….inviting them for Sunday dinners. Now every Sunday is such joy! I savor every moment along with my 4 grandchildren.
Great answer, Alicia, and good for you!!! You’re so right,”feelings are not right or wrong” we must honor our feelings!
Thanks, Evie!
Hugs!
Hugs to you!
If it has been years since they left and your still depressed it is time for some professional counseling. A few ours with a trained counselor may be of great help to you. There may be other issues your not aware of that need to be addressed a professional will help with this too.
Best of luck getting over this…
Julia44 has nailed it. Counselling, or a good look inside to see what is the source of sadness. Were you living your life thru them? You have not mentioned anyone else in your life .. that is odd, and would be a major contributor to the sense of alone-ness. Reconnect with someone whom you have neglected or lost touch with. Go to the library and find a book or two that are of interest. Invite one child over at a time, or both, and have a family dinner/week-end. Perhaps the children are not in touch with you. That would be entangled with living your life thru them.
Take this time of examine the “hole in the soul” and build from there. As you know, this has nothing to do with anyone but you. AND that is a very powerful notion, means you can do anything.
I remember the pain the empty nest brings! I was shocked! I was feeling such a tremendous loss. I did not expect the pain…at all. It helps to share it and find out that it is common. We actually have to learn how to let go of our babies: our children who we taught how to walk away from us, with such joy and love. As with the first time I help my daughter, I knew it was all new and i was going to nbe learning so much. Then when both girls were gone, I had even more to learn. So, keep figuring the parenting thing out…new chapter, new roles, new life.