DO IT! I supported my family mostly alone (if you exclude the disability benefits and workers compensation pittence) to a spouse that had no drive. Sure wasn’t that way when I met him. Now he has “found a doctor” that wrote that he can no longer work, yet he has the use of his arms, legs and brain to convince his lawyer to not charge him fees and prolong the divorce process so he stays on my insurance. Consider yourself lucky, all those of you who got unhooked far easier. I must pay spousal, and since ours was considered a long term marriage, I will pay until he marries or dies … neither which he is planning to do.
I ache for release.
So do my children who live with me and rarely speak with him. No, they chose to put distance in … I was always able to have them visit. They don’t respect him …
My lawyer is getting rich on an income that can no longer take any hits. Must I continue to be sapped by the leeches?? I am nearly at my wits end … and this started four 1/2 years ago.
Well now you've really got my interest peaked! Can't wait to read the book. Would love to know what agreement you came to on the subject of family/friends visiting, especially with kids. The little wheel of curiosity in my head is spinning like it ha
Forgot to mention I just turned 50.
Greetings, Arden,
Thanks for the interesting questions. Wow--it WOULD take a book to answer them all! When I got to the last sentence, I laughed out loud, cause--guess what--there IS a book, and of course we'd be delighted for you to buy it. It is 
Hi
I too am in my early 50s and have been thinking of the big D, for years. I know it is the next move to keep my sanity. I do have a job but am scared at 30,000 it would be a huge struggle. I have a daughter in college and a young teenage son. Any suggestions?
Kathleen, could you afford to hire an investigator to show that your husband can do things that he says he can’t. Woman down the street was also supporting her ex because he had such a bad back he could not work. She hired an investigator who caught him up on a ladder building a garage and she turned the pictures into her insurance company. End of spousal support and health benefits for him.
Hi arden,
No extra funds to do any of that, because a lot goes to the spousal support. However I have some friends who will testify for me.
Sigh … what a wasted life … mine for putting up with this b.s. for so long, and his … because he has a brain, and use of his arms and legs … more than some folks do. He hasn’t even tried in over 15 years. I am no longer feeling pity. Just deep disappointment and a heck of a lot of resentment.