A year ago I posted the need to leave my marriage and move on. Well I am still here, but I am making strides in the right direction.
I leave home next week to go back to school to get my masters. I have to live near school a few days a week first semester, then second semester I will be there full time. So I will be commuting at first, baby steps then the full time status will happen in January. I just hope I like school and I can do this after so many years away. I am using school as my gentle way out as I had trouble just packing and going off by myself. I hope the gradual transition gives me the strength to stand on my own, a strength I don’t possess right now.
I have many fears about this but the thought of staying with this man is helping me overcome them. I am excited to start on this journey.
It is amazing how many people say to me you are going to live at school, what about your husband? Poor him? I may just slap the next person with that comment for now I say “what about him? This is not about him, it is about me” I then smile to myself and know I am making the right move.
ReginaLove, that is SO great to hear! As for soy, it may help with menopause symptoms -- it it controversial. The best way to use soy is in the form of whole fermented soy foods (miso, tempeh, tamari and natto). Non-fermented soy foods such as soy mi
Agreed. I never thought I was vain until I had a mastectomy at age 39. I was devastated and told the doc I wanted to wake up with implants. Now at age 60, I am lopsided and wondering if I was just avoiding the inevitable. You get what you get and you
Sounds very interesting.
GOOD for you! I got a divorce after 36 years of abuse, and won a scholarship because of what I wrote about my life (I was 1 in 10 receipients out of 1,700 applicants in the US and Canada; couldn’t believe it).
I am a freshman at age 63, and Biology is my next class on Sept. 3rd. I work at the University where I attend class, and so they pay for it; I use the $ from the scholarship for books.
GO FOR IT, Gurlfriend!
I was TERRIFIED to get a divorce. The one sentence that “did” it for me? “Try to let the side of you that is trying to save yourself…….win.”
It is all baby steps; be gentle with yourself….journey on, dear sister.
Thank you for your response. I love your quote, it is so necessary to win right now, even little tiny battles. I am scared and lonely, this is a long, hard, private battle, one that is hard to share. I just want to be happy and be loved once more in my life.
I’m so proud of you for having the courage to go back to school full-time. AND to choose to live there. You’re right, it’s a first step and generally that’s all it takes for a person to learn to run – freely and happily.
May that smile you’re feeling inside grow full-out into a happy grin. Good luck in your (soon to be wonderful) new life, kats!
I love that saying!!!!!!!!!!
I am going to borrow that for me!
Bren
Sounds like many things are happening for you right now. You have a plan. It seems natural to ask that question about “him”. These people don’t understand what you’re going through. Best wishes for you kats. I remember all the turmoil you were going through then. It’s always something! Thanks for letting us know how it’s going. You’ll find strength after you are away. Space.
The Journey by Mary Oliver
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice—
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do—
determined to save
the only life you could save.
(((Kats))): I feel exactly the way you do….wanting to be loved. I have never had that at all….with a man.
Hi Kats,
It’s great hearing from you! You are on your way! Best wishes to wherever that leads you.
The most important person by whom you need to be loved is YOU.
Although the love of someone else can be satisfying, it is nothing compared to the love you have for the person you are, or will become. It is 100% guarenteed that you will need to live with yourself for your entire life. Other people can come and go. You will always be there for you.
Keep on being strong!
anir
Hi Kats,
Thanks for coming back to let us know how you are doing. Just keep taking your baby steps, you will get through this.
It takes a lot of courage to do what you are doing and the day will come when you will celebrate your new life!
Stay in touch, here on VN. because we understand so well what you are going through. So many of us have taken this huge step ‘into thin air’ and it is scary!
I went back to school, after many years, and it is challenging and fulfilling at the same time! Studying for tests, etc. keeps your mind of of your problems!
Well, do let us hear from you! Good luck and a big hug!
Trying to let the side of you..save yourself and win!!!
I do love this statment..it fits me to a tee!!!
Stay strong girl..you will get through it..iam in the same boat as your in right now,and seaching for better ways for myself too..i start a arobics class this evening,and thats my first step..going to do more for me!!!
Its about time i did!
bren