My husband and I are now separated – it has been 3 months. He says it is because of my gambling and I say it is because he replaced me long ago with internet chatting, flirting and dating. I am sure he has at least one woman or more in another city. We have been married 36 yrs and have been struggling the last few years mainly due to a minor head injury (his). He is not good for me anymore, he is very angry and controlling yet here I sit on Friday night wishing a miracle would happen and he would realize what a fool he has been and sweep me off my feet. Why is this so hard? Why do I keep thinking of him with other women? Why can’t I shut my brain off? And even when I sleep, I dream of him. People tell me it will take time and it will get easier. True, I no longer sob uncontrollably only tear up a few times a day. Help!
| Is there life during separation? |
August 28, 2010
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I hear your pain, and I understand how difficult this is for you. I have a similar issue, not the same, but the aftermath is still the same.
I had to walk away from the relationship with my daughter, yet after 3 months, I too sit here and pray that a miracle will happen. That she will *see her role* in my decision for walking away, and that she will change and reach out to me.
For whatever reason, they can’t/won’t, or don’t know how to change. I know how easy it is for others to say, (including me, and what I say to myself)… You are doing the only thing that you can. Taking care of you, trying to be healthy, taking care of your sanity by having clear boundaries. Not allowing someone to verbally/mentally/emotionally abuse you. It’s so easy for others to say these things, and even for us to say it to ourselves. But, there is still the issue that these people are our families, or our mates. They are the ones that we are supposed to love, and they were supposed to love us back.
I heard once that, though it is the head and heart that are struggling with each other, KNOW that the HEAD is right,, and soon the heart will follow suit.. I only hope that my heart will soon learn that my head is right, because in all honesty, I am not sure how much longer I can continue to go on……
I hope that your struggle soon resolves….
Not much help, but know that I DO understand!!! Take care of yourself….