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Is Love After 50 Possible? Most Liked Hot Conversation

I just finished reading a novel in one of my favorite series.  In it, the daughter discovers love.  The eyes locked, no one else in the world type of love.

I remember those days.  I was young.  Can that intensity of emotion/reaction happen at my age (56)?

I sigh with longing for that feeling.  But am I looking for something that no longer happens?  Am I too old to have eyes only for 1 man?  Do I expect my next soul mate to manifest in a way that ain’t gonna happen?

Does anybody know?

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Posted in family & relationships, love & sex.

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68 Responses

  1. maryannmckeon maryannmckeon says

    Oh yes Markie.  Finding LOVE with a partner is very possible and not unatainable.  It will happen when you totally unexpect it.  When I was in my early fifties a man that I had an affair with contacted me after 20 years.  A year later we we’re married.  We celebrated our 5th year in August.  It was a tough first few years but now we are both settled in with it and it is a wonderful experience.

    I’ts not thekind of marriage where we lust for each other but it is real love.  He is my friend, my best friend.  A mature relationship.

    It will happen for you.

    May I suggest  joining a senior center where there is a gym.  A lot of gentlemen from 50 years of age and up are there.  good luck to you

    2 like

  2. Jamiesfantasy Jamiesfantasy says

    I found my husband online at 49 years of age! After fourteen months of courtship, we married in Northwest Ohio, moved to the UK for 2 years then came back to the USA in 2004. It is possible!

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  3. Generic Image Terrie says

    I was married for 21 years and then divorced. I got married when I was only 23 and I think that’s way too young. I had my children and spent my time as a very involved parent. Now that they are grown and out on their own, I was a free woman and knew that I wanted a partner to share the rest of my life with. I felt that I still had a lot to offer another person and I was finally comfortable in my own skin. What you look for in a man in your fifties is SO different than when you were in your twenties. I was generally satisfied with my life but but I was looking for was a man to enhance the happiness that I already found. It took 5 years of dating sites and a lot of fix-ups by well meaning friends before I found the right man. One day by accident, I ran into a man that I had worked with 28 years ago. He was also divorced and was also looking for a woman to share his life with. We have taken our relationship slowly and really got to know each other as adults with a lot of life experience between us. To answer your question, YES!  Those same feelings of passion and love that you experienced the first time, feel just the same–maybe even deeper because the maturity and the realization of the shortness of life makes you appreciatte the new ‘love’ on a whole different level. Finally falling in love again makes me feel young again and even more passionatte about life and the value of an open and honest relationship. I don’t regret using the dating sites or being set up on blind dates. It helped me to find out the qualities in a man that I want that mesh with my own interests and values. I feel that at 54 years old, I FINALLY found my true soul mate. Hang in there. Don’t pass up any opportunities to meet new people. One of them could be the one that you want to join with and make the 2nd half of your life, the BEST half of your life.

    4 like

  4. Generic Image shirley28546 says

    My mom is 73 and she just moved in with her 77 yr. old boyfriend.  They met volunteering at a senior citizens center feeding those that can’t feed themselves.  They are both giddy where it is almost embarrasing for the rest of us when we have get togethers…lol so I would say YES, you can still have that “eyes for one man feeling” again…They were both widows and their health has so improved since they met.  They go dancing every Tues and Saturday and are more active than my husband and I.  They wear me out watching them…

    9 like

  5. Generic Image Dell says

    When I was about to turn 60 I sat down with myself and said: “I just want to be in love one more time before I die.”  I wondered if I could still feel like a sixteen year old girl or was I just a silly old woman. Could I find that kind of crazy love.  So ladies, for my 60th birthday I surprised everyone who knew me and took a lover.  He is only one year younger than myself and I’ll be turning 63 very soon.  It has been three years now and we are very much in love.  He is a wonderful man and remains a great lover and best friend.  We have so much fun! We do all the crazy things we did at sixteen only a little slower. Last month I “buggie borded” for the first time.  When he asked me ”how did all this happen?”  I said: ”I just made a wish one day and you appeared”.  

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  6. Five to Nine Five to Nine says

    I don’t know that I believe in soulmates but I do believe in love, and I do believe that, like pain, it is an emotion that is always the same, whether young or older.  When you fall in love, that rush of emotion, breathless feeling when the phone rings or he walks in the door is the same as it was when you were 20.  When he breaks your heart, you sob and feel the devastation as acutely as you did the first time that the first guy broke your heart.  I think the trick is to try, try, try not to become cynical with age.  Keep your wits about you, but keep your heart open.  As to where you find the guy.. heck if I know.  Online sites are one avenue and the stigma about them is just about gone.  It’s as good as any other place to start.

    1 like

  7. Generic Image Savage Grace says

    I found it at 55, it was a wonderful time while it lasted…5 months.  Turns out it takes a long time to really get to know someone well.  But I don’t worry about people in my past, there’s a reason why they didn’t make it into my future!

    3 like

  8. Generic Image kathydsf says

    I am sure you will meet someone. With all the responses to you, there is hope. I am single, just turned 54 and never been married. I know I still want companionship in my life but have never focused totally on finding a man, However, with that said, we still need to do things that interest us so that we find joy in our lives. So I am slowly doing the things that interest me and as someone said, you have to enjoy life in the meantime and not wait for that man. However, I also agree with someone else that a man can appear, through positive affirmations, through hobbies, etc. Just get out there doing something. I think fear leaves us inactive and I am slowly trying to overcome that fear.

    3 like

  9. Sagababe Sagababe says

    I am thrilled to add a positive YES to this question! I have found love again at 51 after a failed marriage of 23 years. I had been faithful, raising teenagers and although totally miserable and lonely in the marriage believing that this was my lot.

    Then I found that my husband was having an affair. After initially begging him to work things out and look at our history and what we had built together I realized that I was worth more than lies, deceit and no respect.

    So last September I finally found ‘The courage to change the things I can” and told him it was totally over and I was taking off my wedding ring. I believe I “let Go and Let God” because the very next day I met a wonderful kind, honest, decent man who I have now been dating for a year. Unbelievable. I count my blessings every day. 

    I am 51. He is 40.  He is single. He has brought so much joy into my world. My friends adore him . My teenagers love him. My parents are thrilled to see me out of the rut I was in and with the sparkle back in my eyes. I am happy.

    So I am testimony to the fact that life is truly full of surprises……and someone up there has a plan for us all…..just be open to meeting and talking with new people and you never know what may happen!

    As we regularly sing “The Best is yet to come”

     

    3 like

  10. Lalynn Lalynn says

    I believe you can find love at any time. However, because of life experience, I hope that you would go into a relationship with your eyes open. It is wondeful to feel that first exhilarating rush of excitement with a new man, but you know that in a year or so, it is going to settle down to a more comfortable level where what counts is the friendship you have created with him.

    That said, all this talk of “soul mates” and there being only one man for you, is silly. Think logically: What are the odds of your one and only soul mate living in your town or being on the cruise ship you chose by random chance? Little to none. That has always been true, whether you are 15 or 55.

    Look for love and friendship where you are and stop wishing for things that don’t exist. Some people are passion junkies…they want that roller coaster of emotions to feel like they are alive. Well, at 50, I hope we would have learned that the roller coaster ride and the relationship drama is played out and unhealthy.

    Simple advice: Find a friend that you can love, and if there is a sexual attraction, work on that aspect of your friendship too. One can never have too many people to love, but one can have too much drama. Especially when one has grown up.

    Be yourself. Use what you have learned about relationships. Be an adult. Be generous. Be realistic. Find people to love. Enjoy the sex. Look to the future, and stop trying to compete with younger women. Find your own place and bloom there.

    5 like

  11. lanemarie lanemarie says

    Yes ,yes and Yes…. :)   When I gave up on a nowhere relationship last year and told the universe I was ready to find the person who would love me 100% and I could return it……I am now in the happiest , healthiest relationship ever…. I believe it was a positive attitude and that i really do like myself, so why shouldnt I be happy attitude and I feel very confident with myself more than ever so I think it all comes about when YOU are ready for it…….at least thats how it was for me. :)

    1 like

  12. Generic Image LillyB says

    It most definitely does!  It happened to me at 57, I have the perfect soulmate and I am completely happy!  Did I think it would ever happen; no, did it happen, yes, never give up!   Just DON’T EVER SETTLE!

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  13. redhead4337 redhead4337 says

    Yes, it does and can happen. It did for me and my husband of two years now. I was 51 he was 50. uuummm, a younger man…. He had been married for 29 years and she left without a warning or even a spat..He was very leary of a new relationship. I had been married twice before. I was VERY leary. I had been single four years prior to meeting my husband. We are happy in love. We have the same interests, differ just enough to be interesting and as comfortable as fuzzy slippers together. We met on a dating site. We both joined for 30 days only. Mine was to run out the week he contacted me the first time. I didn’t need a husband. I was independant financially and emotionally stable. I think that’s the key. Be OK with where you are with yourself/alone. Be alone without being lonely. Then, when someone comes into your life, you’re not needy or desperate to fill a void. You’re open to receive love, friendship and passion. They enrich your life. They are not your life. As for being my sould mate…I don’t know. I think I reserve that for God. My husband is my best friend, my sounding board, my lover, my adviser and someone who still melts me when I look at him. Marriage has never been this good before.

    1 like

  14. crystalli crystalli says

    I was looking for a way to condense all the fabulous advice and wisdom that you’ve received and I finally found it in LaLyn, especially the paragraph that begins Simple Advice.  Read it till it becomes part of your DNA.  Not kidding.

    0 like

  15. Mama Rose Mama Rose says

    You can love again, it will not be like the first time or the last time. It will be its own type. Don’t think about it so much and it will happen when you least expect it.

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  16. Generic Image Positively Female says

    Love is possible over and over again.  We all change over time and develop a greater sense of self and life experiences. 

    1 like

  17. katwilly katwilly says

    YES! I divorced at 47 after almost 20 years in a lousy, loveless marriage. My self esteem was at rock bottom, and I wondered who would even be interested in an over the hill woman. After a year, I decided to start dating again because I felt I deserved some happiness in my life. Took out an ad in the local Personals, and lo and behold, found myself dating again after 20 some years! I met several interesting men in the late 40′s to early 60′s. Unfortunately, I had a 2 year relationship with the wrong one, but when that ended I tried the Personals again, and found my soul mate. We talked on the phone for a few weeks, and finally met at a Barnes & Noble. Do you believe in love at first sight? I knew I was a goner when he kissed me good night. Believe me, passion doesn’t belong to just the younger women. We were both giddy and romantic, and it was heavenly! Long story short, we married after 2 years of dating and have been married for 7 years now. Some of the romance has worn off, but I’m still blissfully happy with him and we still hold hands and kiss, even in public! So hang in there and go for the gold, you deserve it!!!

     

    2 like

  18. Generic Image Peggyipt says

    Yes, love is possible at any age. I remarried at 60 and it’s been almost 4 years now. Four wonderful years. When you are older its different. No struggling with finances and babies as when we were younger. You can relax and enjoy life more. Go for it!

    1 like

  19. Generic Image Rainy says

    I know just how you feel.  I am finding that the men who are my age group (60) are looking for the younger women and I have guys flirting and hitting on me that are younger than MY sons.  What gives?  I know the younger ones are thinking that you are probably lonely and are an easy mark, but they are wrong here.  I would love to find someone my age who would be that one special person…the one where the eyes meet across the room kind of person, but they are out there looking for Miss Bimbo who are the same ages as their grandkids.  I give up.

    0 like

  20. Generic Image sue munoz says

    I think it is very possible, I was married for 40 years and got a divorce, I met a man who came to my home and I know the kind of love you are talking about.  I really never had that with my first husband because I was so young.  I was 57 when I met this man and I felt like I was in high school or something.  We stayed on the phone for hours and I just couldn’t wait to see him.  We got married in 2002 and have been married for almost 7 years.  I can tell you that feeling goes into being comfortable with each other and not the can’t wait to see you feeling.  Good Luch  Love is out there for all ages  It comes when you least expect it.  

    1 like

  21. Generic Image lisabluecurls says

    It’s absolutely possible and can take you by surprise.  Go see the German film  ’Cloud Nine.’  It’s never too late.  Our bodies age, we grow more experienced and hopefully wiser, but being in love is a potential that does not age.

    1 like

  22. crystalli crystalli says

    I guess I do have one more thing to add here, Markie.  If you are going to base your requirement of a mate on “locked-eyes-some- enchanted- evening-volcanic-feeling-eruption, you may miss what you are really looking for, a solid, loving relationship based on mutual respect and trust. That is what you want, isn’t it?  Yes, I know some of the ladies here have found all of that, the drama, the stability,and it could happen to you, but then again maybe not.  Ask yourself something:  What if it isn’t high drama?  What if you met a man with whom you could envision yourself being intimate, who had positive qualities, and who was interested in you?  Would you write him off because you didn’t feel instantly faint the moment you met?  Meeting a good man isn’t any easy thing.  And warm, happy contentment isn’t to be taken lightly, either.  No one lives on a mountaintop every day.  If they did, they wouldn’t recognize it as a high.  I’m not asking you to settle for someone boring, only to recognize something good when it appears.

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  23. LaurenO LaurenO says

    Absolutely!  I found it at 53 and it’s better and more intense (in a good way) than ever before. Just know yourself, now what’s really important in another person, and be open to finding it. 

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  24. Generic Image beee says

    Yes, its possible!  I become breathless as D runs his hands over my body…my eyes search for his.  It’s not just sex but the way he confides in me about what I do; what I am interested in.  And his interest sparks a tender cord in me —  And the feeling is mutual.  We have many things in common–its uncanny.  From ice cream to foods to interests to explorations….

    My story:

    Almost 21 yrs ago I met my husband at the age of 34 (my first and to date, my only marriage) through a dating service.  It would be his second as his wife died of cancer several yrs earlier leaving an 8 yr old and an eleven yr old.  I wrote about his recent death here in my blog.  

     

    Moving forward from just June of this year, I went to a healing circle and found solice and self love and again learned the art of manifestation.  I asked for a loving kind man with whom the physical side of my being would be taken care of –with someone I could feel safe with–physically and emotionally.  I was guided to D through a singles site. It’s been almost a month and I feel fabulous—like a 25 yr old and everyone sees it.      So does he as he stayed single the past year after a poor relationship and 2 marriages earlier.  We talk about everything….and just want to let you know…Even my husband who was a funeral director said–”no one should be alone”. SO let the universe know what you want.   Beee

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    • generate.health@yahoo.ca generate.health@yahoo.ca says

      Hi All  I am encouraged by the above comments.  I am sixty and the love of my life has been in a care home for almost  a year.  I know that I am waiting for him to die and just not looking for anyone else.  But, I do miss the love and companionship, someone to talk to about anything.  If I could find that again I really feel it would be a miracle.  these days I savour the quiet moments that I do have with him.  About Cloud Nine…that’s what we had at first, then once in a while over 34 years.  In between it was up and down but i wouldn’t trade that time for anything.  I have suggested to people that they don’t settle for anything but that totally in love feeling but some have argued, my 30 yr old neice included, that it might not be settling.  Me,  he has to be rich this time!

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  25. laurenpnc laurenpnc says

    Yes it is possible…but don’t expect it to fall into your lap.  You need to be pro-active.  Join groups pertaining to your passions, soul search to know what you are really looking for in a life partner…and above all don’t settle.  I was single after a loveless marriage of almost 25 years.  I started dating using online services and found men with all the same issues my X had.  When you meet the right person you will know.  For me, it was an amazing experience since I had never had these feelings in my first marriage.  I am now 56, happilly married for 18 months to a man who I really consider to be my soulmate.  Remember, some things are not that important (such as political views).  Differences leeds to exciting and heating discussions which truly spice up a relationship.  Know what is important to you….and work to find it!

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