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Is anyone married to a younger man, & I mean many, many years younger? Most Liked Hot Conversation

I am & I would love to have other women to converse on the topic.

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Posted in family & relationships, love & sex.

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51 Responses

  1. Generic Image didibar says

    Well, I’m not married (probably never will marry again), but I am 68 and my boyfriend is 54. Age isn’t an issue with us, although it was with me at first. I must say this is the best relationship I have ever had.

     

    25 like

    • Generic Image SIZZELN says

      YEA!!

      4 like

    • Generic Image sharonpar says

      I’ve been married to a younger man for 12 wonderful years! My first husband was 11 years older than me and was controlling, jealous and verbally abusive. My 2nd husband grew up in a different time and is much more respectful towards women.

      I am 68 and he is 49. After 12 years of marriage, he still buys me fresh roses every two weeks, opens doors for me and lights my cigarettes (even though he doesn’t smoke!!!!) Our secret! He has a lifelong attraction to older women. The older I get, the sexier I get to him. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me!

      30 like

  2. Generic Image Donna-Lee says

    HI, S. Loire ~ I am 57 years old.  I was married first to a man who was 19 years older than me; that didn’t work.  Later in life, at age 50, I married a man who was 36 years old – a 14 year difference.  Oh my God – not good at all.  Once the obvious sexuality issues are not that important, there was nothing at all for us to talk about.  He had no interest in my life and I tried to have an interest in his but I found less and less common ground. I call it my Menopause Marriage because I think I was just flattered that a man of 36, who was very charming and handsome, found me attractive at age 50.  So if it’s about ego and vanity, the marriage isn’t going to work.  If you have true love and true common interests between you, it probably makes no difference at all!  My current boyfriend is 5 years younger than me.  I look very young for my age and keep attracting very young guys but I won’t go lower than 48 or so at this time, or higher than 62.  My dad was 12 years older than my Mom and they were happily married for 56 years, until his death in 2006.  But I think times were different then; they were from the same neighborhood, knew the same people, his parents knew Mom’s parents, etc.  For them, it was a 56 year honeymoon!! Let me know if I helped at all.  To sum up, I think it’s hard enough with someone in your own generation let alone much older.  It’s all a crap shoot!  ~ Donna-Lee

    22 like

  3. Generic Image raquel says

    I am and after 20 years I can see that we get older and they do not…so they look at younger women and start drifting away from their marriage.

    12 like

  4. sktrlady sktrlady says

    My husband is 12 years younger than I.  Is that a big enough difference? 

    11 like

    • ballerina ballerina says

      Same age difference for me and my husband. Lately I feel like I want to be taken care of. I’m tired of paying all the bills and making sure everything that needs to get done is done on time. He needs to grow up somehow, but I don’t think I’m the one that can help him.

      22 like

  5. Generic Image willabel says

    I am married to a younger man, not many, many years younger, but 7 yrs. There have been some issues due to the age difference on occasion. Part of what I love about him is his desire to stay young, have fun etc. But there are serious times I didn’t feel he was taking serious and I wanted to him to “grow up”. We have been together for 14 years now. We have alot of fun together. He has had a hard time with learning communication. I think his system is if he just doesn’t do anything it will go away. I have told him he might want to be careful, it might just go away. Over all I’m not in the least sorry we are married, but like most married couples there are days!!!

    9 like

    • fouroct fouroct says

      This sounds similar to my situation. My husband is 9 years younger; I’m 54. We’ve been together eleven years and married for five years. We didn’t think the age difference would matter, but as we’re getting older, we’re both starting to wonder. I’m having the same thoughts (grow up!) about him. And he seems to be having difficulty accepting the changes in me. Not the appearance changes, the attitude-outlook-perception changes. I don’t know what will happen in the future. I do know that if I’m ever single again I will take age differences a little more seriously. But then again, we could be the same age and this could still be  happening. Perhaps we are just changing and it’s not due to age. I just know my outlook and attitude is definitely metamorphasing.

      13 like

  6. Omowale Omowale says

    I’m married to my friend and lover of the past 30+ years.  When my husband who was 19 years older than died of cancer, we became even closer and four years ago we got married.  I’m 16 years older than he is, but we have so much in common.  We’re church and jazz musicians, computer buffs and we have belonged to the same church for 35 years.  In fact, that’s where we met.  Age is just a number!

    54 like

  7. Generic Image Denny says

    I was married {separated now}to a man 11 years younger than me. I met him after a divorce from my first husband. It felt good that this really nice looking younger man was interested in me! We lived together for about a year then got married. I was unsure at first but he assured me it would work out because he reaaly loved me. For the fisrt 10 years it was great! We always had fun together. My two sons actually became his best friends! None of his friends were married and were always trying to get him to go out! He was a drinker when I first met him but after his mom died he really got into it alot! Then it turned to beer and liquor. His friends came over almost everynight and they partyed in our garage. I was always alone in the house. I finally left him and got my own house! I am much happier now. He is still trying to get me to go back after one and one half years!

    12 like

  8. Generic Image gymmom55 says

    My husband is 11 1/2 years younger than I am. Are you in the same situation?

    3 like

    • maria50 maria50 says

      my husband and I ahve been seperated for 1 1/2 years also. He is 18 years younger than me. My reason for leaving is that I was being the adult and he was being the child and after 6 years  it was enough for me. He makes good money but I never see any of it. I take responsibility for the bills and I had to put up with his temper and drinking and cocaine abuse. So here I am happy and relaxed renting a room from a friend and enjoying calm days and nights. He still wants me to come back but I have not seen enough change for me to do that. I don’t think it will ever be enough.

      7 like

      • Generic Image SIZZELN says

        Age as nothing to do with it. If he were your exact age would you feel better? of course not. I am glad you care enought about you not to put up with it. Enjoy!

        10 like

      • ballerina ballerina says

        My husband, thank God, doesn’t abuse alcohol, does some street drugs but not to the point where it effects our marriage except for the cost. He has been on workman’s comp for the past 2 1/2 years and is headed for surgery again next month. I hope they increase his pay because we are living primarily off of my disabilty pay (it’s always been that way). I told him to leave but he laughs it off. I live in a place where I don’t think I could afford to pay my rent and my bills and be able to eat. I don’t know your husband, but I bet he won’t change. My husband and I were separated for 18 months and then I became very ill and nearly died. I had no choice but to go back to my husband because i needed someone to mend me back to health. And here we are 2 1/2 yrs later and I regret that he was my only person that I had to go back to to heal me. He hasn’t changed. I pay all the bills and yet he spends most of the money on stupid things. I don’t buy anything. My check goes in the bank and pays for everything. He takes his check and takes out what he wants for his drugs and then the rest goes into the bank. Gee …. I don’t get that choice and it ticks me off. Anyway, I’m stuck with him for now. Any suggestions from anyone?

        3 like

      • maria50 maria50 says

        what I did was I found a room for rent. So where I live now, and for the past 18 months, is in a four bedroom house with this nice lady. She has a 12 year old son and rents the other bedroom to another lady named Claudia. Claudia and I share a bathroom but my room is my own. Even though I have a key to lock it, I never feel the need to do so. I guess I got lucky. I do see my husband from time to time but he does not know my address. And I plan on keeping it that way.I receive my mail at a mailbox in a ups store. My husband shares that box with me. I know where he lives but I feel it would be unwise to reveal where I live. Anyway, financially I am so much better off. I am a waitress so I’m not swimming in money. But after 400.00 a month for rent I have enough left over not to deny myself any neccesities. That 400.00 includes electicity water and internet and cable. Moneywise, if I were you, I would find someone who needs a little help with HER bills and make an arrangement to reside there. You would be surprised at how much money you have when you are not supporting a man.

        6 like

  9. maria50 maria50 says

    my husband is 18 1/2 years younger than me.

    26 like

    • Generic Image MikeTrac says

      I am very much in love with a 19 year old. I am 41. We are talking about getting married and I am terrified. We both have put a lot of thought into this. We are also in a long distance relationship. We see each other every other week. We talk on the phone for hours and hours every day. I have 2 kids around his age. He is so mature and I am so in love. I still worry about making it work forever.

      26 like

      • Generic Image willabel says

        IDK, that does not sound like a good idea to me. Fine if you feel you are “so in love” leave it as it is. If he’s only 19 there is no way in hell he’s grown up yet. I know they think they are but as a mother of children that age YOU know they are not. Enjoy what you have now for what it is. The lust of a new relationship. He’s 19 what are you going to say later down the road when he decides he wants kids and you already have grand kids??? If he was 30 and you were 63 MB, by then most men have grown up. Good luck.

        7 like

      • Omowale Omowale says

        When I met my husband he was just over twenty and I was in my 30s.  Even though I loved him and he loved me too, I didn’t have the courage to even go public with our relationship.  People asked us all the time if we were a couple, I never directly answered, because my childen were almost as old as he is.  However, when he turned 50, I felt that it didn’t really matter that much any more.  I don’t really look my age, and most folks just accept us.  Occasionally someone will say, “your husband’s much younger than you.”  Can’t say that I like hearing that, but, as I stated earlier, we are in love, and we do have so much fun and interests together.  All relationships have their situations, and this is just another situation.  But, back to your issue, if you can put up with the occasional comments, that’s just one hurdle.  When my husband was 20 he was quite mature, so your man might be too, but I still didn’t feel comfortable letting the world know that we were a couple.  I often wonder now though how much farther we could have come together if I had been braver, but then again, it could have worked the other way, and we wouldn’t even be together now.  If you feel terrifed about marrying him, I suggest that you wait.  If it’s true love you can wait like we did.  It’ll be easier to marry him when he’s at least 35 and you’re 56.  You won’t get as much “raised eyebrows.” 

        15 like

      • maria50 maria50 says

        19 is much too young to be a husband to a 41 year old. Just enjoy the time you two have together and forget about a committment. Besides that isn’t he going to want children at some point in his life? And with somebody his own age? A marriage between you two is not fair to you OR fair to him either.

        6 like

      • Generic Image raquel says

        In all honesty at 40 I married my husband he was only 24 and NO experience in many areas.  So today 23 years after(we lived together for a while) during our marriage he has gone and done things that a single young man will do, worse now he is 46 he is afraid of getting old, depressed and to makes matters worse unemployed for 2 years.  At first was hard for me to even mentioned I was dating him, then married to him has been OK because he is well educated and we have many things in common, art, love for going to other countries, places, music only in the classics, but one day the 19 year old will like to be the young free guy he was supposed to be at  20 plus and you will be????Feeling insecure, old, aware of your wrinkles and more.  Took me a lot of pain and tears to face facts, he will not change so I DID, I can’t compete with younger and firmer body women, but I  am proud of the way I look for my age and if he stays with that fine, if he leaves me when he gets a job, I will be sad but fine because I have faced reality, I was OK for him for almost 20 years, now he can be my companion or take a hike.  I need peace and loving myself the way I am, look and feel is a blessing. Health is my only concern, love,, well men love feelings are totally different than ours. a 40 year old women for a man of 20 is exciting, a conquest and a great adventure in unchartered territory…yes that is all, for them love is a sexual feeling for us is romantic.

        11 like

  10. Generic Image olybean says

    My boyfriend is 20 and I am 39. we are expecting a child in June and we are very committed to eachother. He asked me to marry him 4 months after we met. I said yes. Weve been together almost a year and I find all the same challenges as with any relationship. However more rewards. His family is great and accepting and mine isnt. They will come around if they want to. I have two daughters 6 and 18 and he has a son we recently got custody of age 3. WOW.  I get fearfull sometimes, but he always reassures me about  aging. However it is all relative. We are ALL aging. Love doesnt see age difference.

    26 like

    • Generic Image S.Loire says

      My guy reassures me about age as well.  You went to instant family too–a lot of changes at once.  We don’t have children; I have a daughter, who is only 8 months younger than my husband.  it is a hoot sometimes.

          I am glad you are happy!  When is your baby due?

      4 like

  11. jenhart67 jenhart67 says

    Hi, I’ve been married to the most wonderful man for almost 2years now, we lived together for four years before we married. I’m almost 43 and he just turned 32(oct 13th)

     I’ll be honest, he was a handful for the first 2 years we were together, I left once and thought about ‘what the hell am I doing?” more than a dozen times…but my heart knew he was a good man, maybe still a boy a lot of the times. He too had been through many difficult experiences in his life and had a hard time completely opening up to me. Anyway..I’m so blessed that i stayed with him, he is so incredible and wonderful and loves me no matter what…Does anyone truly know what unconditional love feels like? Well, I do! I can tell him anything, never worry about making petty mistakes with bills, the running of our home etc, we are so honest with each other….knowing someone truly has your back no matter what is the greatest feeling in my life..EVER!

    21 like

    • Generic Image S.Loire says

      I love what you wrote!  The unconditional love part…my guy is 24 years younger & it has been rough a little just becasue he is a kid still, but he loves me.  He loves me; he loves me & it is the nicest feeling!  He is an extremely brilliant man and so we are matched well intellectually.  I have also had to learn that he can’t meet all of my needs….for instance, I love going to coffee shops & sitting & having coffee & chatting or writing in my journal.  He hates coffee & gets bored easily in a coffee shop–so I am lookign for other peolpe to do the coffee shop with.  That is a little hard in that you want to have shared experiences that you love, but it has to be ok.

       

      Anyway, thanks for sharing.

       

      S.Loire

      14 like

      • Generic Image SIZZELN says

        THERE ARE MALES YOUR AGE WHO DON’T WANT TO SIT, DRINK COFFEE AND CHAT! NO MAN FULFILLS EVERYTHING!

        8 like

  12. maria50 maria50 says

    yes. I will be 52 next week and my husband is 33. The difference shows when self esteem issues arise. Like jealousy is not an issue with me but for my husband it really is. Stuff like that.

    9 like

    • Generic Image billy1 says

      My boyfriend is 18 years my junior.  I’m 47 and he’s 29, it’s been quiet an experience.  We fell in love and age was just not something we saw.  He is in the last leg of a divorce and it’s very hard on him being 2 hours away from his children.  It seems like our relationship is a roller coaster ride when it comes to his emotions but I try to be understanding since that was the only life he has ever known.  They had been together since he was 17, she and I are totally different, she is very cold and distant, I am very affectionant and outgoing.  He finds it hard to deal with the affection and desire to make love since she never wanted it.  He wanted me all the time for a month then his mood changed and now we are on week 4 of no affection, no love making, and no attention.  He tells me he loves me and he will work on this problem but having someone living with you yet being alone is so very hard.  Sometimes I wish I didn’t love him so much because this roller coaster is not really worth all the emotional stuff I am having to go through.

      He doesn’t get jealous and I try not to but sometimes when he talks to his x a lot, I can’t help….. I really think it’s more a self esteem thing than a jealous thing but who knows.

      I’ll just keep riding and see where it takes us; after all, that’s what loves all about right.

      2 like

      • Generic Image S.Loire says

        Sounds like he is manic.

        It is also something that what you are seeing now will only continue in the future unless you also see change now.

        My husband is 24 years younger than me.  It is a fine match most days.  Occassionally, the difference in experience shows….but I do not tolerate the immaturity that translates into rude.

        Today I told him, “Nice Voice…” a line I told my daughter as she grew up…she could say whatever she wanted, she just could not be rude.

         

        I would tell you, set your standard with this guy higher.  The “no affection” for a month thing is crap…the moodiness….is too.  He married to an adult and you need to expect him to act like one himself. 

        I had to do that some in the beginning of mariage and things are much calmer today.  Every once in awhile he reverts & I say–don’t talk to me until you can behave nicely….

         

        7 like

      • Generic Image SIZZELN says

        I am with you on this! If I wouldn’t take it from someone who is my age, why the hell would I take it from someone younger, it is a number age. I like younger males within reason for me. Been married twice to younger males, but don’t take the bull shit, they are men! There are many sexless marriages on here, VN. and I’m not talking illness…We women must choose what we will stand for, or lack thereof…TRACK
        P.S. my last relationship, sweetie said the wrong thing to me, I knew to let him go, and the beat goes on…

        4 like

      • maria50 maria50 says

        Your situation is so much different than mine. No exes were involved and no childreen were involved. People say I am too blunt but here goes. You sound like a rebound relationship. In addition to your heart and emotions being spent is there also money being spent on him? My guess is yes. But I could be totally wrong. And is he monopolizing your time? Again my guess is yes. And again I could be totally wrong. Just know that his ex is in his life for the duration of his life because of the kids. Either you can deal with that or it’s going to be a source of contention FOREVER!!!!! Good luck to you. Billy1. You sound like you have a lot of love to give.

        1 like

      • ballerina ballerina says

        Sounds like you are dealing with a lot. Living with someone going through a divorce is not easy, to say the least….but to emotionally cut you off doesn’t seem “normal” to me. Almost sounds like you’re being punished for trying to be there for him. Love is not supposed to hurt yet I feel some pain in your words. I would reach out to friends and ask their advice on your situation. Good luck and Godspeed.

        2 like

  13. Generic Image raquel says

    Well last year I posted that younger men start looking at younger women, actually that is e ven without age difference, the problem is that I am 65 against his 46 well he has more sex drive I have  more age health problems, but…we are     happy, he is more settle(at least apparently) and I am just enjoying the present peace in my marriage, doubts about fidelity? Of course, but after 22 years of marriage and at my age, I am enjoying the ride, he treats me like a princess and that is enough. He for working at home is always near and if he scape(wisely) well, he can enjoy it till I catch him then I will say goodbye to this marriage, till then, I am happy day by day…weeks…months…I will  get older, close to seventy and he will look more attractive near 50 plus…I will worry when that day comes! In any relationship there is no certain predictions just like in life in general. If your partner makes you happy now…go for it, if he doesn’t let him go if you can afford it(finance,kids, health insurance and other factors can that be a good excuse to keep a bad relationship? Only each of us will now if we are honest.

    11 like

    • maria50 maria50 says

      My husband who is 18 years younger than me, know what my rule is. “IF THEY CAN GET YOU, THEY CAN HAVE YOU.” My husband knows that’s where my head is. He’s latino and you know how young latino girls dress. So he looks. It’s only natural. When I see it happen, he looks at me and I just smile and say “You know my rule, Hector.” And I just smile and he says ” yea honey I know”. 

      6 like

  14. Generic Image elaine david says

    Hi…Found this site. I am engaged to a man 15 years younger and would love someone to converse with also.

     

    4 like

  15. AngelBabyz AngelBabyz says

    My fiance is 20 years younger than me. I love him more than anything. Nobody supports our relationship. His parents hate me, his friends all basically ditched him…. my kids are his age and they hate that I am with him, they think it’s gross. My kid’s friends have nothing positive to say about it. Basically as long as I am with him I have NO BODY…. But I still want to be with him…. I don’t think our relationship is nasty or grose… We are best friends, enjoy eachother’s company, have so much in common and want to be together forever….  I just wish SOMEONE would take the time to see that we’re happy and not judge us!!!
    I’m 41 and he is 22.

    23 like

  16. Generic Image Anonymous says

    I am in an amazing relationship with a man 13 years younger than I am. I am 40 and he is 27. This is the best relationship I have ever had physically and emotionally. I have never had this much in common with anyone. We do keep our relationship private from both of our families because we do not want any headaches. His mother is only 10 years older than me and my daughter is only 6 years younger than him. But we are open with our relationship with everyone else. I really never thought it would be possible to love anyone this much. I also think because I am older it works better. Things that bothered me when I was younger do not now (like jealousy, he is so handsome). I am confident and secure and he loves that in me. Even though sometime I do think about 10 or 20 years down the line if the age difference will be to much I am not going to worry about it too much now because I am so very happy.

    13 like

    • Ter Ter says

      Knowing that someone truly loves you is indeed a wonderful feeling. I loved your statement of confidence in your relationship. Think about how you will counteract the neigh Sayers in your life, should you come open with your commitment. “Yes, I understand that you feel… (you always have to say their reason first, so they stop thinking about their argument and start listening to you), and yet I feel_____*so energized by him, so respected in this relationship, this man is more mature than any older man I’ve dated, he admires my experience and wisdom and appreciates me, he is so much more open minded, he is not threatened by other men or jealous, he doesn’t carry baggage of a family, …” OH, see all the wonderful things!!!

      3 like

  17. Generic Image almondeyes says

    First time I’ve found discussion about this level of age difference.  I’m 45 soon to be 46 and met a guy who is 29 years old.  I look very young for my age and I thought he was older he thought I was younger.  The chemistry sizzles between us and chemistry only happens to me if I’m attracted at an intellectual level. He is ambitious, interesting, and a very deep thinker.  I am actually finding myself holding back because of the age difference.  I usually date guys 5 to 10 years younger not because I search them out but they find me.  I’m trying to get past my hangups here, he doesn’t seem to have any.  His parents live in my town and he wants me to meet them.  He’s introduced me to his friends and I’ve bonded with them.  It’s funny that a few people mentioned drug use.  I don’t smoke, just drink socially, and don’t use drugs.  He doesn’t smoke cigs but recently when we were out on someone’s boat he said ‘I don’t want to make you uncomfortable but I’m going to smoke a joint’.  He travels a lot for work and rarely is off for a whole day.  I don’t think he smokes weed a lot but as I’m looking for ‘the problem’ with him I wondered if this is it.  Trying to stay a little open-minded on this one.  I’ve got to say he ignored all the other girls on the boat that were all over him and just focused on me once he smoked that joint and I got a lot of affectionate text messages that day and night.  I don’t think he’s smoked since as I haven’t ha the same level of affection since then (ok I’m impatient it’s only been 2 days, lol).   It’s nice to see these posts because I’m going to try and be more open to this.

    6 like

  18. Ter Ter says

    I married a man 13 years younger and our first 12 years together were great. Both as friends and romantically, we meshed. Age did not seem relevant until more recently, when I started thinking “save for retirement” and he was thinking “I want a boat, let’s buy a bigger tractor for this lawn…” The roughest part came a couple years back when I came down with stage 4 cancer and his face dropped. He was good through the surgery, but when that did not work and the chemo/radiation began, he started looking for a way out. He came to me in the hospital and told me he fell in love with our caretaker and they were going to leave together after my treatments (I was hospitalized from complications). I was shocked, “No, I said (stoically), you will not leave me now. You will stand by me and honor your commitment and help me through this.” However, the treatments did not work and the day after the doctors said so, he left me (6 months later). He did come back after I miraculously beat it, but then just left me again. I think he was scared the first time and then realized that I would indeed be gone before him. So, perhaps he is still out there, looking. Meanwhile, I am a survivor. My chin is up. (My first husband cheated on me after the stillbirth of our son, when I needed him most.) So, is it age or circumstance? I do not know. I have a lovely gift of faith which gives me incredible strength. Perhaps it is not age but commitment that matters.

    My folks were married for 58 beautiful years and I love stories of love, honor and marriage.

    13 like

    • Generic Image ShirleyF says

      Teri,  My heart goes out to you.  What a strong person you have been.  I too fell for a guy 15 years younger (52/37) and we lived together only for a year and a half.  We had a wonderful time – humour, affection, adventures, hard work, and yes, he was immature, penniless, funny, great chef, life of the party.  I always had a nagging feeling that he would never have more than a minimum wage job – he just refused to take any training.  He then started working ‘overtime’ to make a better paycheque, but it turned out that he was instead seeing a girl from work each evening before he came home from his ‘late shift’.
      I discovered his infidelity and was shocked and saddened, but what I fool I was.  I paid for almost everything over the time he was with me, probably because I was alone in a new country.  While I was away on business trips the other woman would stay at my house, sleep in my bed, wear my clothes…and she wrote emails to me afterward detailing it all.  I passed those messages to the police.
      Coincidentally, I had started to feel very ill before I discovered his fooling around.  I had developed headaches, numb hands and feet, had spontaneous blood vessel breaks in my limbs, and generally felt as though I was rapidly aging…
      So, despite my illness, I threw him out of the house and sent him to live with his lover, who, by the way was younger than him but one of the least attractive human beings I’ve ever seen!  That part was the most insulting!
      Anyway, a few days after he left, I went to the doctor with my symptoms, and they did blood tests.  They reported back in a panic that I had extremely high lead levels in my blood that could only have been caused by deliberate poisoning.  The ex boyfriend was an artist and had all sorts of access to lead paints.  And he was cooking my dinners.  It all added up.  The police investigated but they couldn’t pin it on him.  I took chelating drugs and eventually recovered, although emotionally it took me a long time to trust anyone again.  The police in this jurisdiction have other ways of scaring off such people and so I am sure he will never come near me.  The happy couple are now living in her parents’ basement, which for some funny reason makes me smile when I think of it.
      The above story is absolutely true, and in fact, there is much more to it.  The bottom line is, be aware that there ARE men out there who will deliberately take advantage of an older woman with money.  And they are grand actors and they will hurt anyone to get what they want. That’s why I say NEVER reveal your worth to a partner until you trust them completely.  The cops said he was probably doing it for my life insurance money because he knew he was beneficiary.
      Look at your motivations for wanting to ‘mother’ a younger guy.  if it’s for company or control, even a bit, don’t get involved.  Younger men more often than not do wander, or see you as a means to an end.  So what if they think you’re sexy, we all are, and all young men fancy an older woman at some point.  It’s not an achievement.

      6 like

  19. Ter Ter says

    Shirley~ Oh My Gosh! I am sick to my stomach for you. The harm the befell you!!! Thank our Lord that you did send him packing when you did. Yes, there are people with good and those with bad intentions (free will as it is). I forgave my husband (we are in the process of divorce) for one than one reason. On top of it all, I did not want someone to be with me who could not stay there as I was (I was told) dying. I needed the strength of those who loved me. My son instantly quit college and came home along my daughter, to care for me. I experienced the most beautiful feeling of faith during this time. Had these things not happened, I might never had known how powerful my children’s’ love was or how true my gift of faith could be.
    Had you not learned of this man’s infidelity, you may have never gotten well and in that struggle to become well, perhaps you have found out what matters in life and what does not. 
    I wish for you to be blessed with sincerity and true friendship.  May your path be easier. Thank you for your kindness to me.

    2 like

  20. Generic Image ShirleyF says

    Teri,
    Thanks, be sure I am older and wiser now. I do say to other women currently dazzled by the younger men lusting after them…I hated thinking about losing my boy toy too. But when he turned evil on me, wow I found NOTHING attractive about his youthful good looks any more. If they are under 40 and swear they don’t want kids, ha don’t believe them because THEIR biological clock kicks in too! And they will get desperate and find anything younger to do it with. You know, the best lessons I’ve learned about relationships are from the local beat cops in my area. Two cops in their 50′s were put on my poisoning case and they have come back regularly to chat over the past three years…partly as they say, mine was one of the more shocking cases they’ve seen, but also because they.are amazed I’ve carried on as normal since. These cops have told me stories of other domestic situations that would curl your hair…of lonely single women taking chances with their love life. Anyone reading this, make sure you value yourself, don’t just take any companionship if you are lonely, make sure you check out the guys you date. Try to meet other people who know them, dont just believe what a guy says about himself. My younger guy turned out to have already been married for 5 years to a woman 22 years older, but he told me she was his sick grandmother. Sick? No, after I was poisoned by him, the police discovered he was in fact still married to her and when I went and met her, she told me she had suspected he was doing the same to her and that’s why SHE threw him out. Not to worry, the cops have a tail on him to this day even though his next victim may be the beotch who slept in my bed. What a soap opera…but then that’s life. Back to normal now and loving my quiet life.

    6 like

  21. Generic Image S.Loire says

    I am still married & he is still 24 years younger. He is the love of my life and I am his.  Sometimes it is true we at difference places–he wants to travel to Nigeria and I want to go to Russia….but all in all, I love our partnership.

    6 like

  22. Imalilteacup Imalilteacup says

    I’d like to ask…I am 27 and met a really nice young man of the age of 19 and he is the most respectful person I have ever been interested in as far as him treating me with respect and just being an all around sweet heart. However the age difference bothers me. But I feel that this could be something I could get over, especially as we get older, but then there are so many other fears involved as well, such as him wanting to be young and do young man things, like drinking and stuff, but he did say he would be ready to have kids with me if that’s what I wanted and I’ve never had kids before and I think he could really e a good partner which is what I want when I choose a mate for myself. What do you think ladies, does age matter here in my situation?

    0 like

    • Generic Image alliexkat says

      Tcup, I’m 27 and my husband is 22. just relaize he is young and remember to cut him some slack and that he will occasionally do things that drives you nuts. just think back to when you were that age and learning different aspects of how to handle situations in life. it can work, it just depends on the compromise you guys are willing to make and patience you are willing to give. we are happily married, of coarse we have our issues, everyone does but I try to remember he is younger and he has to learn certain things on his own. if his motives are pure and you can trust him that he does want marriage and kids, you can have a really awesome relationship so you shouldn’t let a few years stand in the way of that. you will however run into problems if you like going out to bars! its definitely manageable
       
       

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  23. Ter Ter says

    Dear teacup- perhaps not a big age difference and as your time progresses, less and less of a difference. Two things, has he dated enough that he is ready and since he has not yet reached 25, think about his decision making. How is he when he handles money or his anger? You probably do have a nice guy there, yet, he has not had a chance yet to completely grow and mature as a man. (That is research, not my opinion.)
    Just take a little time to think these things through, noticing how he would wish to raise children  (religiously, traditions, discipline) and finding out how he feels about your views on those same things.

    Other than that, your ages will be nothing in just a few years.

    1 like

  24. Generic Image Vix says

    I’m 9years older than my bf (I’m 33) and he is the most amazing man I’ve ever dated. I’m his first official girlfriend and he’s never dated someone for longer than a month. He is sweet kind and caring though after three months I feel like his interest may be waning (he used to.compliment my looks and outfits, etc, and stopped at momth two, also monthly anniversaries mean nothing to him). I am worried that as I become more attached he is becoming more disinterested. Also he doesn’t know what he wants (e.g., a long-term relationship or just fun?), he is very loving and caring and calls me by all sorts of sweet terms of endearment, but he also says he can’t predict how hell feel in a few months time. I now know that my feelings for him are very deep and I fear I’m getting attached to someone who is going to burn me (he may be gone for career training out of town for many months). I am confused and already feeling the heartbreak but I Dont know what to do…just reaching out on this thread because it seems like there’s a lot of women in somewhat similar predicaments who may be able to lend some advice or perspective. Thanks in advance….I really appreciate it…:s

    3 like

  25. Generic Image LoriS says

    Hi. I’m 59 and have often been told I look and think younger than my years. I just met a man who is 36.  At first I told myself to just walk away.  But he asked me to just spend some time getting to know him and if I still felt like the age difference was too much, we could remain friends.  The man I previously dated was 10 years younger and I never noticed the age difference.  But the gap is much bigger here.  However, as I’ve gotten to know him I see so much maturity, level-headedness and common sense in this man.  He has sole physical custody of his son and is a wonderful father.  He’s educated and is not in a lower socioeconomic class so I know it’s not about looking for someone to take care of him.  We also have not been intimate – neither of us wants to take it to that level until we are sure that we connect on other levels.  So far, we do…in spades.  I’m not really sure where this is going to go.  My biggest worries were fidelity but I realize that if a man is going to cheat, it doesn’t matter how old his partner is. I’m not an insecure person so that isn’t an issue.  The other concern I would have is me becoming ill.  Yes, that could happen to him, as well, but it’s more likely it will happen to me.  I think it’s too early in the relationship to worry about that.  If we should ever decide to marry, that is a conversation we will have to have.  I think this man is a keeper and I’ve never been one to worry about societal norms or what people think.  My friends and family always say they just want to see me happy.

    2 like

    • Generic Image ShirleyF says

      Lori,
      You are way overthinking this. Just met? The myriad of complicating factors in a 23 year age gap are enough to boggle anyone’s mind, especially when hormones are involved. You simply don’t know enough about him yet. Just relax and enjoy but don’t set your heart on anything.

      I too was involved in a 15 year age gap relationship. I too am a young 56 whatever that means…all it amounts to is being fortunate to have a fit, unimpaired body, skin and attitude…but at the end of the day…I am still 56. And for a younger man, at some point, this becomes an issue, because later on, your young partner will start to think of the future, do the math, and decide he won’t want a granny by his side when he’s 50. Sad but true.

      2 like

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