Sorry, the header posted funny!! It should read ‘I need advice about older men! 
So, I’m 52 – well almost 53 – but like many of us, I don’t look it and I certainly don’t feel it. I’ve been single since 1995 and avoided men and dating for the longest time. Personal reasons for that. Last year, following emigration to New Zealand, I decided to test the waters again. I went out with a couple of guys, nice enough men but I wasn’t interested or attracted enough to pursue anything with any of them. I recently reactivated my profile on a dating site and have just had a smile and a lovely message from a guy who, if he were ten or fifteen years younger, would probably be ‘just my type’ in many ways. But – and I feel really bad even saying this – because he is 66, I’m hesitating. He seems vibrant and youthful, but I’ve only ever gone out with men my own age or a bit younger. I have never envisaged being attracted to someone so much older than me and although I like the sound of him on paper, I can’t imagine getting romantically involved with someone in his sixties.
So I want to know what you gals think. Have you dated an older man? What was your experience like?
I think I’ll probably meet him, anyway – just for coffee, to start with. But I’d love to get some input from the lovely women on this forum!
Thanks
Liane
I had a 30 year marriage starting very young. My husband was my only sex partner, and since my divorce I have realised he was lousy at it. I always believed it was my fault I could not get enthused about his need for it...I always thought I was a b
... and that little 11 yr old girl loves you back and thanks you for being there for her. You can continue to be there for her by living your life in laughter, love and passion. Live the dream. And don't forget to take that kid out for ice cream once
Is he house-broken? Will he come if you call? Will he fetch? Will he sit and stay? Oh, I’m sorry, I almost forgot you’re talking about a man! The difference between a man and a dog is that dogs don’t leave their socks and beer bottles lying around! Aw, I’m just kidding. I haven’t got any advice but I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to meet him. You should make up your mind with more information.
GILJ, You are so bad this morning, hahahaha! but good points!
))) …TRACK
I date younger males, I’m no help!…TRACK
)
Well, I have been in a relationship with an “older” man for 7+ years….when we met I was 54 and he was 61….he is now 68 and is energetic, owns and manages his own restaurant plus another business, he has a great energy about him, he is fun and sexy, we have an active sex life, and we are active in our free time doing everything from gardening to geocaching, traveling to snuggling in front of a fire…..I do think age is a state of mind…of course there are health problems as we all age, but what issues he has he manages well and stays on top of so that it does not diminish his quality of life….well we do fall asleep in front of the TV once in a while, but I have never even known him to set an alarm, up with the sun or before…so I guess what I’m saying is every guy is different…some 52 year old guys can be really old and aged, while 70 year old men can be quite something….I say give him a chance…hey, you’re going to be 66 some time too, right?
I have mainly been involved with younger men but have several good guy friends who are older. It depends on the man. How would you feel if the shoe were on the other foot? What have you got to lose, it’s a date not a marriage.
Even young men can act like old farts so my advice is…Meet him and judge for yourself whether he has the passion for life and energy to keep up with you. My husband and I are both 60…He works two jobs, is strong and healthy and gorgeous and I wouldn’t trade him in for any younger guy.
I tried it and I did not like it. I was 58 at the time, this was just last year. We had been dancing buddies for over a year and a half. We talked on the telephone some and once he came over. I moved into a larger house and he was there every weekend. Got on my freaking nerves. I liked the friendship but then he expressed to me that he liked me in a different way. Oh for a man of 73 years old he was awesome in bed but I just couldn’t do it. I have a thing about kissing men anyway and I certainly couldn’t kiss him with his dentures. We went to a party and when I saw the pictures of me giving him a sip of champagne it looked like I was his care giver. He would come over on Saturday mornings early and used his sight as an excuse to stay the entire weekend saying he could not see how to drive at night. To hell with that. I was homeless in my own home. I did not want to sleep with him in front of my 14 year old daughter so I would sleep on the floor. I didn’t like seeing him in my bed with the totally white hair which was a constant reminder of what was to come. Then too I was afraid he might get sick or something and I would have to be responsible for him and had to deal with his fmaily. Nope not me. He would want me to come to his place, no where as near as nice as mine and plus he had his ignorant 30plus year old son living with him with his right sorry, disrespectful butt. Nope, no way.
He had plenty of charge cards in his pocket and would buy me things but it was more to life than that. I don’t need a man for his money. Oh he say he loved me but it was strange that this confession did not come until I moved into my house. I would cook for him and he would leave his plate on the table like I was his maid. I lost my cool being frustrated one day I said to him, this is not a resort nor a convalesent home. I didn’t mean for the second part to come out but it was what I was feeling. He would sit all day and sniff his nose, putting drops in his eyes. I don’t like men being at my house because I don’t like cleaning the commode after nobody but myself and my daughter. When we went someplace I had to do the driving. Heck I want to sit on the passenger side and look like a queen. I wasn’t ready for this. Then he got to the point he wanted to tell me how to run my house and how to interact with my daughter. Heck if you are so perfect at parenting what happened to that drug addicted non bill paying-non gorocery buying, non-cleaning up failure you got living in your house that you won’t put out because you are afraid of him is what I wanted to ask. Instead I just ended the relationship immediately.
Sometimes I think I miss him because one thing for sure I didn’t have to worry about him cheating on me or beating me and I loved dancing with him.
Ok now it comes to the subject of younger men and older women. I have talked to a couple of guys younger than I and I am not sure I am ready for that. I don’t want to look like I was their mother just like being with the older man I felt like people looked at me as though eh was my father or I was a younger woman taking advantage of an older man . I prefer men that are 5 years younger than me or 5-10 years older. Oh well, next!
Each person is different, and you’ll never know until you check him out. Many men in our basic age range have what I have coined “advanced fuddyduddyness,” which is the firm, set in their ways, never varying, terminally BORING lifestyle that could have you stultifyed in short order. Never trying a new restaurant, never going to a new vacation spot, never trying a new recipe, NOTHING. Some have poor health or poor health habits, smoke, drink too much, watch ESPN and Fox 24/7. Some will assume that you require guidance or assistance with basic decisionmaking. There was a story told here not too long ago about a “date” during which the lady got a glass of water! No lunch, not even a soft drink. So add cheap to the list of possibilities. Some would never dream of letting a woman drive with them in the car.
Remember, the first time, meet in a public place, in the day time, have your own transportation, and be ready to smile sweetly and just say that you are sure it wouldn’t work, thanks anyway, and walk. But I hope it’s MUCH better than that and that he’s smart and funny and charming . . . good luck out there.
Ha, ha….that was ME….with the glass of water. i would have been too much for him anyway; he bored the snot right outa me.
First, my disclaimer. I love men! Next I will say that I had a relationship with a much younger man (by 16 years), a short relationship with a man who was almost 20 years older than I am (short term, but the sex was good!) and now am in a relationship with a man who is 7 years older than I am. There are both great things, and not so great things, about any age. I love that the man I’m with now can start singing a song and I can join in (and that he lets me, even with my horrible singing voice) but that is something I didn’t have with my younger guy.
It will all depend on who you both are and what you both want out of life. Age is nothing in the long run. Go out with him, see how you click and don’t ever let numbers dictate your life! ♥
Ummmm, well I am sixty FOUR….. I like men who are about 45-50…don’t relate usually to men (and a lot of women) my age……
it all depends on the men. Some are still very active, young at heart and in good shape in their 60s, others are in their 50s and pretty much done for. Same goes for women. It all depends on the individual. I have always been with a man my own age, and after 32 years of marriage and then the divorce, I dated a few younger men. Now I am the one that is 66, and I would not want to be with anyone much younger - I’d say five years younger at the most, or 5 years older, and in very good shape. The most important thing is how he treats you and how much you have in common, and , of course, something has to light a bit of a mutual attraction spark. You want someone who has no need to lie. Good Luck with your search.
Thanks for all the replies. In the end, although he sounded good on paper, I decided not to follow through. Firstly because he looks old enough to be my grandpa – fluffy white hair and fluffy white beard. But secondly because he was very pushy. His first message to me included all his contact details – about four different phone numbers and an email. His second message was an invitation to meet that very same evening for coffee and a movie but he said that as he was going to be out in the morning, could I please just keep trying his number so we could set things up? He was also very clear about wanting a new physical relationship and no matter how nice he might have been, I couldn’t imagine … ugh, no.
But thanks, all!
L
White hair and beard would attract me… apparently we’re all different! On the other hand, pushy is a bit of a turn off. For the future, though, don’t discount age and/or looks. You never know. ♥
Smart. Go with your gut. Anyone who is that clear is really That Clear. I think he assumed you were looking for sex and he was accommodating. Bleeeeeeah . . .
I used to think I was only attracted to younger men — until I met a man 7 years my senior who turned out to be the love of my life. Give him a chance! What’s the worst that can happen? You’ll waste an hour over coffee? You’ll make a new friend, even if you’re not attracted to him?
That’s just general advice about age differences — I see by later posts that he has other unappealing attributes.
Joan