I am a 46 soon to be 47 in a 20-year marriage. my husband and I have not had sex for many years and I have developed an intense emotional affair with another man.
I love him and cannot live w/o him. I did not know I had these intense feelings for him until he confessed them to me. (We are neigbors and have been friends for many years.)
My husband had a meltdown in December that led him to behave very irrationally and stormed his home looking for me. (I was not there). Anyway, it was following that terrible day that my friend confessed to me that he loves me and would not talk to me if it would cause me trouble. When he told me that I lost my self and realized how much I love him.
I have two children 13 and 18 they are unaware and simply the best children a mom could ever wish for. I told my husband that I have been unhappy and frustrated at the sexless marriage. He is 16 years older than I and he has many reasons why we have not and has promised that he would see a doctor as to why “it” does not work.
I tried talking to him about it a few years ago, and he came undone. Threw a tantrum and stormed off. He has given me many excuses (no health insurance) what if he has something wrong and he has something seriously wrong.. Blah blah..Yet he has the nerve to accuse me of having an affair.
And now I am stuck. I want to run away but I am terrified of hurting my sons. I love my neighbor and can see a life with him as clear as I can see my hands. Fear paralyzes me and I am so afraid of devastating my 63 year old husband. I walk away live happily and what about him? I love him but I have not been in love with for MANY MANY years. I am a mess in a dress. Please help me..