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Husband has given up… Hot Conversation

My husband has given up on life. Says the only reason he is still around is because of his parents and me. What does one do when someone you love has given up? He won’t seek counseling. Won’t do anything to make a change. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Posted in family & relationships, health & fitness.

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11 Responses

  1. gingervista gingervista says

    Am sorry to hear that, queenie. Normally I’d say get him into counseling &/or to a doc for antidepressants, but if he’s so resistant, all you can do is take care of you. Probably wouldn’t hurt YOU to find a counselor to deal with this terribly upsetting issue. And if you can find one who deals with EFT (emotional freedom technique), all the better.

    Good luck to you. {{{HUGS}}}

    Sue

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  2. dynamomma dynamomma says

    Hi queenie:  I agree with gingervista.  The first step is to help you deal with you and your reaction about all this.  Funny thing happens when we get our own thoughts, feelings and behaviors pointed in a direction we know is right.  Everyone else in our lives seems to step right in.  Help yourself first!  Much love to you.

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  3. Lynnette Lynnette says

    dont YOU give up.  Depressed people do not want help, usually they are in denial.  INSIST, INSIST, INSIST.  Get his parents involved.  It is easy to say to continue with your own life and try to deal with it that way, but can you?  Can u just walk away?  Do u have kids?  By now they should be older, get them involved as well…. it is called INTERVENTION.

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  4. Generic Image Jender says

    Do you think he would agree to having a physical — just to find out if anything has changed or to rule out a medical problem?

    Do something fun or nurturing for yourself everyday.

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  5. Generic Image Colleen B says

    Sounds like he needs a shot of testosterone.  Funny how everyone assumes only woman need hormones but men need them just as much.

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  6. dgthebee dgthebee says

    He sounds clinically depressed. A visit to your family doctor (you alone0 to discuss the problem is important. You might also ask him for a serious talk (or “dialogue”) and then sit down and take him seriously. OK, you’ve given up, so do you have a plan for ending your life? If he indeed has thought of a plan (suicidal ideation), you need to think about reporting this to your doctor too…he needs to be admitted to hospital for assessment and care/treatment. This is very serious, especially if he tells you he has a plan for ending his life (or has thought of several different ways he could do it). I wouldn’t take it lightly. Otherwise, you might ask yourself later what more you could have done “back then.” He may be crying out for help by telling you he has these thoughts. Perhaps something terrible has happened that he is too scared to tell you about,…but whatever the cause (and there may be no real clear cause), he needs help, and you may have to be drastic since he is too depressed to try to get help for himself.

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  7. lovemylife lovemylife says

    I don’t agree that depressed people don’t want help.  Depression runs in my family.  I have seen many people, myself included who desperately want help.  Hanging by a thread.  Trying to get through the next minute, never mind the day.  I was one.  I had two small children at the time.  I was convinced everyone would be better off without me.  It took two years to find a med to work.  It’s a hideous disease.  Denial?  Absolutely not!!!  I was the first to admit it.  

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  8. Generic Image grace says

    well you must ask for help, I think is dangerous, ask him what happened to him, I think he is depressed my goodness this could provoke also depression in your life, and worst an aggressive answer if you help him, ask a doctor what to do, is he ill, how old is he, is very dangerous for you, look if he has no a weapon, I am thinking about something worse,

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  9. Generic Image Patryce says

    …use healthy foods and vibrant green teas and time to talk with him as a wakening up excercise.

    try and figure out what the two of you can do to enjoy life more…as he sees you enjoying life he will begin to catch on that he is loved and life is a gift we receive each day!!     Check out a site from Dr. Weil where he discusses healthy aging as an accomplishment one works at each day…..do you belong to a church that you could get involved in some pleasant actiivities?

    QiGong Tai Chi can be a good way to start to get moving as this will help too….taking a walk…does he have a card game or board game the two of you enjoy?   hope you keep up your spirits too..

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