I signed a uncontested divorce, my ex said he wanted us to start fresh. He lied after 25 years of marriage I was left with nothing. I was a stay at home wife for twenty years. I have a low paying job and could barely make ends meet. I am in excellent health. I have no friends, he isolated me for years. Now I feel loneliness, disappointment, betrayal, fear? I cry every day I am so scared. I have always been in great shape and exercise but even though I workout daily I am still depressed and crying. I act as if everything is normal at work. I am working in Saudi Arabia and there is no network for women. I am trying to find work back in the States. How do I go on? I’m not crazy but I feel as if I can no longer go on.
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I am so sorry that you have to suffer through this. Wondering why you signed the uncontested divorce? Was it under duress? I would think a good lawyer could make confetti out of that divorce paper and start again.
You do need someone to talk to and it is a good thing that you are seeking other women to talk with. The internet can be a beautiful thing at times.
Dear Friend,
I know how overwhelming it is to be treated so poorly by the person you loved and trusted with everything. We are here for you, stay strong.
I don’t know what is available in the country you are in. But giving up is what he wants, don’t let him demean you and dump you.
Knowledge is your best weapon.
Find out if the divorce is final, if it is or isn’t find and attorney willing to fight for you. I would even go to the American Embassy to ask for help if you feel there is no one else to help you learn the laws and the limits to save yourself.
The exercise is perfect, keep it going. Be good to yourself, it isn’t your fault.
Be strong, be confident.
If it is as bad as you say, I suggest to get back to the U.S. where women are valued and supported.
Stay in touch!!
After being a stay at home mom for 20 years, and you end up with nothing! This is very wrong. Are you a US citizen? You should move back to the US.
You are going through a lot right now and the crying is part of it. I cried a lot too and so easily. It has been 6 months since my separation.
It will take a while (days, months) to get through the crying stage. You are not crazy and you are not alone in this. I thought too that I was going crazy. I went to work and acted normal for quite a few months. Finally I did tell a few co-workers about my separation. They said I must be a strong woman because I did not once take a day off work and I did not fall apart at my place of work.
Giving up is not an option. He no longer cares for you so you have to take care of yourself now. Have to stay healthy and strong for yourself. Do you have family in the US to help? Can you move in with them for a while? Keep reading comments on this website – try reading every post here in regards to divorce, cheating spouse, and so on. It really helps to read about every one’s experience and how they deal with the pain and loss. I find a lot of help from all the wonderful ladies here. I still feel the pain. I still want to cry some days but I think I am on the right path to recovery from a long, bad marriage. I try not to talk about the ex anymore because that part of my life with him is over and talking about him is wasting my time and energy and it does not do me any good. Do not think that your life is over. Think of it as it is just beginning. A new chapter to a new life.
Stay strong. Hugs to you.
Ok -you’re in a tough place. But you started a very important process. When you told us about your exercising you were taking stock of your strengths and assets. What else do you have? Is there family you can turn to? Does your company offer any kind of help? Do you have health insurance that might cover counseling? Are there online advice groups in Saudi Arabia (when I lived in Beijing there was a yahoo chat group that was very helpful for making connections in Beijing)? What are your skills? Somewhere in here are some answers for you. Keep posting. We’re listening.
Please don’t give up. I don’t know whether an uncontested divorce means that you get nothing, but a caring husband would have given you your due. There is hope for you, God is able to send someone else your way. All is not lost. Until this happens, seek counseling and/or keep writing online and keep looking for answers. Then evaluate things that you enjoy and commit to doing at least two of them a month. Remember that you are worth something and that you were designed for good things. Volunteer if it helps, but don’t dwell too much on the past. Whenever you feel yourself going that way, redirect your thoughts to better things. I pray that God will grant you peace and joy.