What I would like to know is how other people handle Christmas cards or the yearly holiday newsletter to family and friends when the news is bad, like a breakup.
I am facing this now and it is too raw to call and talk to people far away that I don’t communicate with often. But I don’t want to send the news in the Christmas card either ( Life at the Smith’s house really sucks this year because the man of the house has decided after 20 years that he is madly in love with someone else. Please send your best wishes along with your condolences!!)
Anyone else had to face this and have any stories or wisdom to share?
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Permalink: http://www.vibrantnation.com/family-relationships/how-to-share-bad-news-at-christmas/
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Sounds very interesting.
That is life in America. That story isn’t as bad as the young family that has a mother battling breast cancer. Even though you are hurting right now… the rest of the world understands. Your happiness is just around the corner…
My best advice would be to focus on the positive in this instance. My life has been horrendous this past year for a half dozen reasons but I wouldn’t put it in a Christmas card or family newsletter. I’d talk about the weather, how hard it was to find a gift for Grandma, how little Billy has grown, yada, yada, yada, and maybe say, “unfortunately Jack and I aren’t together any longer, but little Billy and I are going to Rockefeller Center…” yada, yada, yada. If these are family members you don’t communicate with often, then frankly, the intimate details of your life aren’t really their business. You can mention it without giving them chapter and verse. If they care to know more — and you care to share more — they can always pick up the phone and call after they receive the card or newsletter.
Just let it go this year and don’t send anything…and hopefully with some healing you will have a lot of great things to report in next year’s card…..skip it….the information will get through to everyone on the grapevine anyway, and you can handle it one call at a time when you are better able. I mentioned on another site a class I have been facilitating for the past 7 years or so called DivorceCare….a national program…there should be one in your area if you live in the US. A great program, helps you deal with all this kind of stuff and most of all really works to help along the healnig process…..
It seems to me that fewer and fewer people are sending such family letters. Why not just let it go, and catch up next year if you are feeling more inclined.
It seems to me that fewer and fewer people are sending such family letters. Why not just let it go, and catch up next year if you are feeling more inclined.
I fell we need to first remember ,OTHERS HAVE TO DO WHAT THEY FELL IS BEST, &SAFE ETC.IN
THEIR LIFE & HOME. WE ALL LIKE RUNNING OUR LIVES& HOME.
(BUT,NEVER) GIVE THAT ON A PHONE ! Mail, one should sitdown & read. Just incase.(?)
I don’t understand..
This is a hard time for you. Give yourself time and stay constructively busy, allow yourself time to grieve. I think this would be a good year to keep a low profile…card-wise. Everyone has bad years…some worse than others. Next year, this time, your whole world could be different!
I remember my “divorce year” no one got a card! The first year was the worst then, one day, I noticed that I was feeling better and I was going to be okay!
You will get through this and I do send all the good wishes possible your way!!!
I’m sorry that you’ve had to face something as painfully overwhelming as this, weeroo, and most especially at this time of year. I agree with Five to Nine and others. You needn’t mention it; the news will filter through. The best medicine is to get support and keep yourself involved with others. The worst is isolation. Being with others helps you to validate yourself; no matter what he does, you are still the special, unique person you always have been. Nothing others do changes that.
I experienced the same issue last Christmas – 27 years of what I thought was a committed marriage. It is ugly, it hurts and there is nothing you can do. I focused on what I had to do – taking care of kids and maintaining my job since I am now the sole support. I built an accountability group of seven women and men to help me make decisions and walk through every issue. As for social and all else, I just hibernated. There is only so much you can do. Take care of yourself first, then your kids if you have them and let all else fade. Those things will come back around when you are ready.
I have to thank you all for your comments. I was so stressed over this one thing, and when I finally let it go as something to “do later, maybe” I was able to relax and enjoy the rest of the Holidays with the people who still love me. I am now on to the New Year and although nothing is easy I am starting to rediscover some parts of me I have ignored for a long time.
Bless you all and a prosperous and love filled New Year to you all!
It is a difficult thing to walk through. You need to take care of you first!! I can’t stress that enough. I dread going to social functions because I have found that the gossip network isn’t working as well as we think. Just yesterday I went to the wedding of a family that we have known for 18 years. First question I received was “where is …………?” It is year later and I still dread and get choked up about it but I know I need to get out into world again. Be good to yourself.