Today’s Featured Comment
I know that I cannot replace my husband, but I don’t think it’s wrong to look for similar traits that I admired. I do find that I am more comfortable with the idea of a widower rather that someone who divorced in his 60s or 70s. In theory, he has the same problem and it’s one of your compatibilities.
I’ve met several men whose deceased wives could have easily been my friends and I like that idea.
I agree that you can never fully let go of a good marriage cut short by untimely death. But, I do believe we can love again…and deeply. Not much different in concept than when we were young – it starts with a spark and grows. I still miss Ken, but I’m happy with my life and wish I could be satisfied with having great friends and wonderful family. But it’s the daily companionship that I miss – meals – discussing the days events – intimacy – a warm body to snuggle up to.
I don’t intend to walk on eggs and never mention my prior life and don’t expect that of a new partner. There is a special place in my heart for my husband and even after many years for a lost infant, but there was no shortage of love for more children and there will be plenty for someone else if I find him. It’s time that is short, not the capacity to love.
Hang in there. One day you just wake up feeling something has lifted. It’s not gone, just a little lighter burden day by day.
[This comment was originally posted in this conversation. ~ Eds.]