My mom is having health issues. She lives 60 miles north of me. Any suggestions on how to help a person not ready for a nursing home but not quite comfortable on her own anymore with continuing problems? I stay there a few days a week. So far that’s working but I see more time needed coming down the road. She will NOT come here. My dad is up there in a nursing home and she won’t leave him. HELP!
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Check into homecare. When my friend was sick, she could not be alone and I couldn’t stay with her. We hired a sleep in care giver and it worked out great. It’s a little on the expensive side but you can check with her insurance company. They may cover part of the cost. Good luck. It’s a tough situation.
She has very good insurance so perhaps they would pay a part of it. I’ll look into that this week. Her neighbor is a nurse and sent me some places to call and see what we can find. I’m glad to hear that some of you can’t stay with your parents. Because I’m single a number of family members and my friends think I should go live with her. I’m not sure they would suggest that to a married woman. It’s as though I can drop my life and live with her forever. It would be much better for her to come here but she won’t. So a homecare person who can sleep over would be fantastic. Even a couple nights a week. Thank you!
Hi, Sharon, I am sorry for this tough situation with your Mom. I see you live in CA; perhaps I have a recommendation that might help. Check out LivHome’s website; this agency was an absolute lifesaver when my own Mom was at this stage of the game. I found them through the recommendation of a coworker after having taken many wrong turns on the elder care highway. The help LivHome can provide is not cheap, but LTC insurance (if your Mom has it) may defray some of the costs, and it sounds like you do not need full-time help; as I recall, they had a minimum requirement for 8 hours a week, with varying hourly rates depending on the level of assistance needed. Every one of the caregivers we ever used (many) from LivHome was grade A; all supervised by a wonderful geriatric social worker with whom I worked closely as my Mom’s needs escalated. Like your Mom, my Mother was determined to remain in her own home, and I was equally determined to honor my beloved Mom’s wishes as best I could. The wonderful people at LivHome made that possible for us. Good Luck!
I have not heard of that organization. Thank you. I presume they are nationwide? If so that would be fantastic. I do know how she feels because I would hate to leave my home. Most of her friends are gone now and I think being in her own little house is comforting. But if she is in danger or has memory issues and forgets her medication, etc., then her home can be a scary prison of sorts. I will check that organization out. She does not have LTC insurance but she does have good insurance so perhaps she would have to pay some out of pocket. Fortunately, she does not have a mortgage or rent so it might work out. Thank you!
I agree. I went through this with my mom. We knew we would have to move her eventually, but hiring a couple of folks to assist her in her home allowed us her a few more months of adjusting to the idea. The state paid for one person to come in and do basic housekeeping and cooking. My sister and I paid for the other person who came in and served as a companion, taking her on simple errands, etc. There is lots of help out there, the key is to keep asking until you uncover what will work for you. Good luck.