| Guilt |
Lost my mother this week after long battle w/Leukemia.I feel guilty that I don’t feel so bad. Our relationship was not great. And most of what I remember about her, I won’t miss. I feel like a terrible person.
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ReginaLove, that is SO great to hear! As for soy, it may help with menopause symptoms -- it it controversial. The best way to use soy is in the form of whole fermented soy foods (miso, tempeh, tamari and natto). Non-fermented soy foods such as soy mi
Agreed. I never thought I was vain until I had a mastectomy at age 39. I was devastated and told the doc I wanted to wake up with implants. Now at age 60, I am lopsided and wondering if I was just avoiding the inevitable. You get what you get and you
Sounds very interesting.
Spike, you are awesome! Love your perspective, thanks for sharing.I will turn 53 in 6 weeks and still break out.
May I also assume that your skin is still quite oily and shows no or very few wrinkles? If so...
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!
1) Your skin doesn't look like beat-up luggage now, and probably never wi
Man, oh man, oh man! Isn’t it something how they (the unloving moms) can still rise up out of the grave and tell us how bad we are. Listen Nurspat, “feeling” guilty is just another lie that we’ve been told by controlling people in our lives. “Being” guilty is not the same thing — it’s real — being guilty is about an action you took that was not very nice and you hurt someone. So you apologize. So since “feeling” guilty is created by your thinking that you should feel something different or grieve, is just another controlling ‘shoulda, woulda, coulda’ thought that’s engrained in your head. Send herself another message that how you feel is exactly how you should feel. We can still love a not so loving mom, but we don’t have to like them or grieve for them. Be who you want to be, not someone you’ve been told you should be.
Reread the last three sentences from dynamomma, they say it all. You get to choose how you want to feel so choose something that empowers you.
Nurspat, There is a difference between honor and love! You may feel guilty cause you don’t have what other people consider “very emotional feelings for your mother and her dying”, don’t measure yourself by that. Cruelty, unkindness and unloving actions by parents because they are parents, don’t give them a pass into your heart. Let yourself off the hook, you knew her. Dynamomma gave good advice, now reshape/RETHINK the rest of your life. I’m pulling for you..TRACK
Bless your heart. I know where you are coming from. I have the mother from hell. She let me know daily, how unworthy I was & how much she didn’t want me. I still have nightmares about her hitting & screaming at me. My childhood was a horror movie in the making. I have not seen or spoken to the woman in years. My father passed away in 2008. I didn’t find out for months after the funeral. I cut them out of my life in my 40′s. I’ve been so much better off. All I ever wanted was their love. My mother NEVER told me she loved me. I think she is incapable of love. I spent the better part of my 30′s in therapy. I have no guilt over them, they both have been dead to me for years. I understand now just because you have parents, you aren’t beholding to them if you chose not to be. Don’t blame yourself. She didn’t deserve you. Some people are just monsters.
Hi Nurspat,
Nurspat,
If you could have chosen a mother, would she have been the kind of person you would have chosen?
To feel love towards someone, you need to receive love from that person.
anir
Thank you all so much for your thoughts…
Hi Nurspat,
I feel the same way about my mom. We never got along and she always made me feel guilty about something I did or didn’t do. I know I should call her, but I don’t and I really don’t feel guilty about.
Like dyamomma said, you can still love her because she’s your mom,but you don’t have to like her or grieve for her.