Today’s Featured Comment
Forgiveness is crucial to my happiness. Anger and resentment against anyone (my husband, my parents, my boss) never hurts anyone except me. It certainly doesn’t hurt them. It eats away at my happiness, keeping me good and miserable.
The end result is that The Person I resent goes blithely on with his/her life while I get an ulcer from holding on to that core of anger and resentment boiling inside me. As long as I hold on to it, I give some of my power away to That Person. Or, to put it another way, I give That Person control over my happiness.
The only way to get that control back is to forgive That Person. But I don’t think of forgiveness as something I am doing for That Person. I am forgiving him/her to:
- get rid of that anger & resentment boiling away in the pit of my stomach and
- take back control of my happiness.
Chances are, That Person won’t know the difference one way or the other; my anger/resentment never really affected him/her. It all happened inside my head and in order to be free of it, I have to let it go.
The easiest way for me to forgive someone for a perceived wrong is to accept that That Person is who he/she is, acknowledge that I have no power to change who he/she is, and decide that the only person I do have the power to change is me. I can choose to forgive That Person for being who he/she is, to forgive myself for allowing That Person to take my power away, and to take back that power and MOVE ON.
That is the forgiveness that sets me free – and That Person never even needs to know about it!
[This comment was originally posted in this conversation. ~ Eds.]
Why do you forgive?