I have always felt out of place in my birth family. My children were always treated differently than my sisters kids because my parents hated my husband so i never went around the family much because i felt i had to make a choice between them or my husband and girls i of course chose my girls and yes my husband was abusive and i did eventually leave him and he passed away 15 yrs ago and my family still treat my daughters different.Any way i still feel uncomfortable around them and was just wondering if i should just remove myself from them.My sister is treating her son the same way mom treated me and she hardly has any thing to do with her grand daughter but she makes all over my grand son which is not fair to that little girl.My pastor says that forgiveness is what you should do and that  you dont have to forget but i dont know how to forgive when i cant forget.  Any help would be apperciated. Thanks Girls

Posted in family & relationships.

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4 Responses

  1. Lynnette Lynnette says

    do what feels best for you.  I met my father’s side of the family when i was 55.  I always felt weird around them as they are very competitive w/each other, compare achievements and even who is prettier, sexier, skinnier, most intelligent, blah blah blah.  They do it as a joke, but it is one of those jokes that do not sit well w/me.  One day i finally said enough, this does not feel right.  I decided to stay away and realized why my mother never wanted me to meet them or be a part of that family.  It has been the best decision so far.  I followed my heart and instincts, do the same.

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  2. Storytaker Storytaker says

    Peppermint Patty (love your name!) – All I can offer you is what I have learned from my own experiences.  Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you forget what people have done to you – it means you don’t let it control you.  It doesn’t happen in an instant – it’s something you have to work at.  But it is freeing.  Forgiveness is taking back control of your ‘You’.  When you choose to be strong in who you are, you will be able to deal with the family matters in a more positive way.  Decide who you want to be and become that woman.  People only have control over us if we give it to them.  We get what we expect to get or what we think we deserve.  Stand up for yourself and what you believe is right.  Don’t let other’s dictate your feelings or actions.  You can do it!

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  3. Generic Image SIZZELN says

    Did she (mother ask for forgiveness?!) What Jesus did at the cross is different! 1 John 1:9 “if you confess your sin, I am faithful and just to forgive… check it out for yourself…the world and sentimentality want you to forgive cause it causes least tension, bull shi… if they are not dead or out out of their minds, they KNOW what they did or said!! Let them confess !!…TRACK…IT”S MY TAKE ON IT

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  4. Generic Image Memeg says

    You can forgive your family without making the same mistake playing favorites.  You know that is not how you should treat people.  All God’s children make mistakes… learn from them.  You are a lady who has had some hard lessons in sticking up for yourself!

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