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EX- DAUGHTER- IN-LAW

I am in a marriage with step children and step in-laws. I am having trouble with the ex- step daughter in law which is being a big pain in my side. Her and my step-son is divorced now with 3 children. I have a 15 yr old daughter who loves her niece and nephews dearly. We always call to see if we may get them for a day or over night and there is always something the kids or herself is doing with them. The ex-daughter in law calls us out of the blue and relates to us we can start taking the kids on the weekends whenever we can. Not sure where this came from, us thinking change of heart with her, time had passed by with her. We jumped up on the offer not knowing when we may see them again. My husband, which just had heart surgery is not up to all 3 kids at one given time with out me being around. (With my job and school it is tough.) He states he would like to take them one on one. My husband calls and states to her he wanted to take the grandaughter (8 yrs old) first and there was a function that my daughter and her could attend along with (myself for a few hours) girl stuff…The ex-daughter -in-law decides this is ok and we could have her overnight. Let me remind you we have to check in with her on every move we make with her children. Sad but, ok if it gets us to see the grandkids. The next day my daughter has a friend call and ask if she could meet her at the fair for a few hours, they hadn’t seen each other since school let out. My daughter comes to me and ask if this is ok. I told her she could only go if she took her niece with her and called nieces mom to confrim this was ok. My daughter agreed upon this and had talked with us about if her dad, (nieces biological grampa) if he would go and walk around with them and maybe do some things with niece for a 1/2 hour to 1 hour at the fair so she could spend time with her friend that had asked her to go to the fair. Mind you my daughter asked niece before they left house if it was ok that she spent a little while with her friend and niece was ok with it her knowing grampa was going to spend time with her alone. My daughter, neice, grampa all went to fair meet the friend, my daughter, niece, friend spent 2 hours with 8 yr old niece with going on rides, playing games, seeing animals, ect.  Grampa, then took 8 yr old grandaughter to get ice-cream on a farm with animals and she was aloud to pet and ride ponies. Everything was fine until next day when we took niece home did she elaborate on this with her mom and started crying to mom that my daughter left her with grampa and didn’t take her on any rides, play any games, ect. Granted this was all false statements comming out of the mouth of this 8 yr old and the mother came unglued with my daughter . Lashing out many false statements to her and parenting her on how wrong she was doing this, how niece was a guest in our home and my daughter had no reason for doing this to her daughter(niece.) Ex-daughter-in -Law also stated to us the kids were not ever comming over again ect. We don’t and can’t treat guest right, ect. DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA, I am at my wits end with this lady. It is like she has this hold over us to keep children away. What rights do grandparents and Aunts have? Nothing I am aware of…..

Posted in family & relationships.

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4 Responses

  1. New-name New-name says

    If you are ever able to talk to the 8-year-old on the phone, maybe you can ask her why she told her mom something that wasn’t true that now might end her visits with your daughter.

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  2. Lynnette Lynnette says

    i suggest you google “grandparents rights in michigan” and see what you get.  The whole thing is weird to me and so “walking on eggshells” type of environment.  YIAK! Hate that.  I am the type of person that whoever loves my son, it’s ok in my book.  Wait until she needs to go somewhere, she will be calling u to babysit.  As for your grandaughter, when you get her alone, tell her it is not right to lie, especially about this particular subject when she knows her mother will take it to xtreme.  She will call again, don’t worry.  Trust a neighbor or somebody saw her riding and mentions it to her mother.  If u live in a small town, it is bound to happen.  Her mother has to know that her daughter lies, we all know our kids’ behavior, sometimes we pretend we do not know, but we do.  TRUST ME, SHE WILL CALL AGAIN.

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  3. enjoying new life enjoying new life says

    this may be an ongoing struggle… some people go wacko and take their kids into wacko land.  Your grandaughter may have gone into wacko land and no longer understand reality…not to mention it’s fun for an 8 year old to get lots of attention and stir the pot, especially if she is not getting the attention she wants.  Think of all the negative attention your granddaughter got with this stunt.  My X is UNBEIEVEABLE  has turned into a psycho.  Fortunately my kids understand that… to a point.  But one of them reallly doesnt want to see it and I have to reel her in everyweek when she comes home from Dads.  Your grandaughter is being influenced by her mother.  Is There anyway you can see her through the father????  Careful with the grandparents “rights”  you might open up a can of worms you dont want to.  How long has it been since the divorce?  I have been told those kind of mind games get easier… wouldnt know yet LOL…  I dont know the situation, but is she the type that will want you to take the grandaughter all the time once she finds a boyfriend??? Pray for her to get a boyfriend lol… good luck.  This must be very hard.  I know for me I have a fabulous relationship with my X inlaws.  We have both worked at it, we no longer have to work at it just comes naturally

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    • Generic Image reno says

      THanks for the feedback……Unfortuntanly there is a baby from another guy since the divorce, and while pregnant she found another guy whom had moved in with her and the grandchildren. Since she had entered into our family she has been very controlling person and always right on her choices. She is out of our lives except when it comes to grandchildren so we will have to pray she comes around and sees what she is doing to her children I guess.

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