So, this afternoon I was having a conversation with my husband (FYI, I have posted elsewhere here and am in the process of moving toward independence after 20 years of marriage). We had some pressing concerns about kids, finances, etc. As often happens, the conversation devolves (I need to figure out how to stop participating and even encouraging this). My husband told me “his life sucks, it will always suck, it will suck until he is buried in the ground” blah, blah, blah. I asked him if that was how he really felt, and he said “yes.”
So, this is a man who I want to be divorced from, soon. I am not seeking validation for comments on previous posts I have made about how to get myself out of this marriage.
I am looking for insight. This is a man who has told me how miserable I am, how negative I am, how rotten I am, how I never listen, how I never take into account his feelings, etc.
I asked him a few hours later if what he said was true, as regards his life sucking and he said, yes, he is a realist. I asked him if he felt his life would always suck, and he said yes.
I don’t want to go on and on. I have been stuck in this negative cycle for over a decade, with blame being placed on me.
I do not feel life sucks. I do not accept life sucks. I do not accept that my life sucks and always will.
I keep asking for help. I have good friends who support me. My husband says that he doesn’t care how soon or not I decide to leave. I am concerned about the financial realities for my kids and self
Ugh. The reality of my husband’s unhappiness hit me like a brick tonight. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.