| DO yoU OMETIMES fEEL wE REACT liKE FAMILIES ON VH | Hot Conversation |
WHAT HAPPEN TO THE POST BUTTON…WENT WILD!!!!
DO YOU SOMETIMES FEEL WE REACT LIKE FAMILIES ON VN!!!!!!!!
THIS TITLE MAKES IT SEEM THAT MY FALL HAD AN AFFECT ON MY BRAIN FOR COMMUNICATION (loL)…I
WHERE ARE SOME OF THE VN MEMBERS THAT YOU MAY MISS!!
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ReginaLove, that is SO great to hear! As for soy, it may help with menopause symptoms -- it it controversial. The best way to use soy is in the form of whole fermented soy foods (miso, tempeh, tamari and natto). Non-fermented soy foods such as soy mi
Agreed. I never thought I was vain until I had a mastectomy at age 39. I was devastated and told the doc I wanted to wake up with implants. Now at age 60, I am lopsided and wondering if I was just avoiding the inevitable. You get what you get and you
Sounds very interesting.
Spike, you are awesome! Love your perspective, thanks for sharing.I will turn 53 in 6 weeks and still break out.
May I also assume that your skin is still quite oily and shows no or very few wrinkles? If so...
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!
1) Your skin doesn't look like beat-up luggage now, and probably never wi
THE COMPUTER OR VN HAS A GLITCH……It is supposed to read
DO YOU THINK WE SOMETIMES FEEL LIKE VN IS FAMILY?
There are some VN bloggers that I don’t see about on the threads….like Petite tiger. She was very ill , she had a very good friend who I became very fond of , You wonder what happen to them?
There are times I feel like a certain person on the thread gets “ticked” with me for a better word and it reminds me of family …I can feel the vibes of the thread at times and wonder what is really going on, but I must say I am grateful to have each of you who participate especially at a time of need once a gain thanks and this is my gratitude for the 5th day.
Hi fayetteSI,
Absolutely, in answer to your family question. We are a family of some of the greatest people/sisters and I feel comfortable with you. I enjoy reading the posts and may not post on some because I don’t feel like contributing. I think observing is sometimes important. Everyone I read enjoys being and having a chance to put in writing some of our deep seated feelings. It always thrills me when so many people come back with their take on things and share their experiences.
Yes, I miss DallasLady, Seawriter and several others. They’ll be back, I hope. SeaWritet said a while back that she will be off during her school time. It’s easy to see why you have to disconnect all together for a while so things can get done. It was hard for me to let go when my packing “got in the way” or my work. Now I’m sitting at the computer, playing with my cat, doing the little chores for the day. In a few weeks, I’ll be starting school or work or both. Today, I will check out the college. I’m excited! Let you know ;^))
MG, Thinking on where you are in all this moving to Florida. I took some time away to see some friends in Minnesota and Wisconsin…TRACK
Thank you TRACK. I’m using my husband’s computer and it’s hooked up in a spot that gives me a back ache if I stay too long. (wonder if he planned it that way. LOl)
I love it here. It’s hot, everyplace is right now. My house in Missouri is full of our stuff that’s packed and ready for the most part. The house is being shown regularly and they have the 5th open house set up on Sun. Here in Florida, I’m enjoying my time off but I have never been good at idle time so I’m wasting gas getting to know my neighborhood. We take walks on the beach and the people here are very friendly. So, things are moving. The worst part is, I’m gaining weight. Yikes!
I love seeing people who I can always engage in some kind of conversation.
Love ya!
MG
I feel that way too, matter of fact I sometimes come to VN before I go to my real family for solutions, we ahve lived long enough loved hard enough and been hurt enought so we Know something (lol)
Morning FAY, YES, I miss CAL MIMI, SEAWRITER, GILJ right off the top of my head but I believe life may have gotten in the way for awhile, since they didn’t say it was enough on VN. Look forward to hearing from them again…TRACK
I understand I have to make myself a VN schedule so I can get some of my personal work done (lol)…but I love the interaction of women who have something to say. I miss Dallas, she was my first ” thread attack” and the rest is history I enjoy the style of so many of the women we are different and yet we have so many things in common.
It is so true fayetteSIPP, I miss them also. I haven’t heard about PT for quite some time. I sent seawriter a PM about a month ago and MG is right, she’s been focusing on her graduate work. We all come and go on VN depending on our private lives-Duffy has gone fishing and I hope she’s feeling better. I’m always happy to get back on the site after a respite and catch up with what’s going on with others.
Even though I have some firm beliefs regarding certain issues it’s healthy to be open to at least listening to (reading) what others have to say. Wish respect
to the family analogy, I don’t want to have conflict with my family or friends regarding many issues but I can still discuss many things with the wonderful women on this site- it is a family! I’m grateful that I found this venue.
I also miss the absent posters, I hope they will return.
So do I…..
Like myself I am sure some of the people on VN stay away because they don’t want to get involved in some of the bickering that goes on here. That’s the way families are. There are family members that will walk away from their family and stay out of touch for years just because of hurt feelings and other issues. This is the second time I did not visit VN for awhile and last week because there is this one person who really makes me sick. The picture she has is sickening and for the most part she always seem to have some really sarcastic and mean things to say to people. I had been waiting for her to cross my trail and she did it last week. But then I thought why let the devil win? I thought, his is what you enjoy so don’t give another person that kind of power over you. I don’t consider people family when they are rude and I am the same way with my own family. If you can’t contribute something positive and keep your ignorant responses to yourself I avoid you. I don’t like dealing with the women who are bitter either and a few of them are that way. I don’t like dealing with the people who tell you something has to be wrong with you because you don’t agree with a particular subject or issue. You can’t force your likes, dislikes or bitterness on another peson. There are families that are that way, they call them dysfuntional and believe me there are some dysfuntioanal women here, so sad. Just as this contributes to the breakdown among family it happens here and who knows the women who have chosen to walk away could perhaps saved a woman’s life one day or helped her to become a better person and deal with whatever is affecting her.
I read another post from a woman on VN who expressed the same thing that some other rude person used some pretty indecent language to her and because of that she stayed away. This is a public site and people should be able to express what they feel and not have to be bothered with some other person’s judgement and harsh comment. We come here for support, because it is fun and sometimes motivating.
I don’t really consider the people on here as “family” they are acquaintenances that I chat with from time to time. However, I do appreciate the postive women who respond and who seem to appreciate and take my wisdom to heart. This is the way I am regarding my family, if you can’t embrace the positive I walk away from the negative. You want to argue you will do it with someone else. Misery loves company and unfortunately there are people like that in our society and families. This is my little entertainment when I am relieving our receptionist for lunch. Anyway to the positive acquaintenances here, keep doing what you are doing there are women out there that are hurting and need each of us.
Thanks Alma, you have left me speechless…
I miss some of the posters also, and I know that they are doing so for a variety of reasons….But, I have also thought of staying away, because some things I have posted were responded to in a very bitter, hateful, and rude way….Some women can take that and give it back twofold….but I was raised differently…and also I have chosen as a mature woman to not let behavior like that make me respond in kind….it does make me sad though….Fayette, you are not like that, and most of the other women here are not, also….you and they are why I am still coming back…Because, though we come from various backgrounds, families, lifestyles, and economical status, we can all come together here and share our lives, thoughts, and problems….I think that was the idea of VN…not a place were you are belittled for stating your beliefs and/or feelings in very nasty ways..from women that don’t even know me….I would stay away from those people in real life, so I tend to do the same here….or at least I try to….=]
“Some women can take that and give it back twofold.”…
You are correct Gramma, some of us can. And some of us have struggled our entire lives to be able to stand up when we feel-I should say know- we have been wronged. I have had some conflict with DallasLady on this website and once she responded to me: “wear a cup”- and after having contemplated that for days I realized she is right. Sometimes I have it on and others I’ve forgotten it and fall back into old familiar patterns. Funny thing, the men that we compete with for jobs and salary have that cup on day in and day out-my husband never takes it off when he’s outside our home.
We discuss many issues on this website-some of them very controversial and some of us have strong feelings-we also have a right to state our strong opinions and if we offend someone we do our best to handle it-we all have different styles. If we have a strong opinion, we should accept that someone may take the opposite stance. We recently had the privilege of putting our two cents worth on the table regarding racism in this country and we heard from women who have actually lived that-I don’t have that in my day-to-day life, I value this tremendously and would never let some conflict in opinion or maybe some words I don’t take to drive me flee this website.
One last thing I want to add and then I’ll step off my soapbox. Many times I see and also participate in sarcasm and humor within some of the threads-this may be misunderstood by some, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to step away from that, it brings me happiness and it’s a certain kind of intellectual stimulation that I need.
correction from above post:
I don’t have that in my day-to-day life, I value this tremendously and would never let some conflict in opinion or maybe some words I don’t take to drive me TO flee this website.
Thank you, winelover for your comment. First of all, I am not fleeing….second, I also enjoy intellectual conversation…I don’t run from subjects, I pick and choose subjects that I have some personal experience or interest in..or where maybe I can help.. ..third, I have strong opinions also, and accepting someone else’s stance has two sides. Topics can be discussed without a personal put down..( and , by the way, I have never taken anything you have said as a personal put down, you know how to discuss topics without that feature.)=] Again thanks, you have given me food for thought!
Gramma, I didn’t mean to imply that you are/were fleeing. I simply wanted to take your one statement and elaborate on it for the sake of discussion-not intending it to be personal to you. Maybe I should have responded to fayetteSIPP with my additional comments.
Thanks for your statement regarding my previous comments, I have the utmost respect for you and enjoy reading your opinions. I apologize if I’ve offended you-it was not my intention.
Oh Winelover….I wasn’t offended….=] But, yes, I thought you were speaking directly to me…that is one of the negatives of posting verses talking face to face….I just wanted to logically respond using points that you used….and so I probably sounded like I had my neck out of joint…Ha! No offense taken, sincerely….I learn a lot on here too and don’t mind at all when people don’t agree with me…it’s the bullying (or seeming to be) by some, that gets my dander up…..or rather makes me duck my head…=]
THIS GRAMMA AND WINELOVER IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF HOW TO WORK OUT THE LINE OF COMMUNICATION WHICH ISN’T ALWAYS EASY AS WE TRY TO THINK AND TYPE AT THE SAME TIME GOOD JOB AND I THINK THE BOTH OF YOU ARE GREAT PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks fay…exactly-thinking and typing at the same time! I used to be able to do ten things at once, I need to slow down sometimes.
Isn’t VN great?
You are so welcome and needed on the threads
Thank you ,Fay…..have a great day!!=]
You are welcome and you ae needed on the threads.
I understand the coffee before dealing with the issues of the day…I just want to say, Yakkity I know yo can hold your own …but everybody wants to be appreciated, for their value, and even though you are one of my favorite VN sisters You as many others have concealed identities…I really am not .I would Love to offer Alma help , but Alma has to realize that she needs it, from her writing I don’t believe she understands the negativity of her words,. Judging Others ( DID I do IT???) she wrote about the people of my community of whom I love and said they were the worst of the worst ….where I came from… so I explained to her the error of her attack on the culture of a people by where they lived. ..Alma lives in the same City where I live and I am coming out on this page offering her to email me @ Akuascups @aol.com Most of you can share your feelings , knowing that someone can identify you , it puts a restrain on how you explain personal things as not to give up others privacy. I hope you understand,,,,,So Out On this Thread I am willing to help ALma if she want my help.
I was never sexually abuse or physically abused…but being sensitive and mentally older for my years I could tell my father would use me as an excuse to start an argument with my mother, as the last child and I had a tight bond with my mother.
That is the reason I really try to be careful how I come at someone….Today people are known as Internet Bullies, and can be vicious…I don’t and have never thought of you that way… Your logo the shark speaks well for your style and most people respect the shark and the sharks respect them back..
The shark is a beautiful creature.
This was suppose to be to Yakkity sorry Kgramma
That’s ok…..I liked what you said….and agree with you completely…but have one question…are you confusing me (Gramma) with KGrandma? I know she posts a lot here on VN and I certainly don’t want to take any credit or praise that you meant for her…=] And, I thank you anyway…this last post hit it right on the head with what I was trying to say…I think it is good to not reply to negativity WITH negativity, especially when we have heard of the pain and struggles someone is having or had in their lives… this has been great!
Back at ya, Winelover! =]
My compliment was to you ….and I like Kgramma as well, I don’t have anybody I don’t like …how can you really dislike people you don’t know? people do it all the time but the problem usually lies within…. but I needed to get that of my chest with yakkity.
“Many times I see and also participate in sarcasm and humor within some of the threads-this may be misunderstood by some, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to step away from that, it brings me happiness and it’s a certain kind of intellectual stimulation that I need.”
I <3 you, winelover.
You contribute more than your share of happiness and intellectual stimulation to VN–keep on keeping on.
Be happy.
You rock yakkity1. I <3 you too. Happy travels!
I love you, am glad we have you, and am remembering an old lecture from Psychology 101 about people reflecting those things they most hate about themselves by pointing them out in others . . .
Thanks KGrandma.
Be happy. xo
ANOTHER GREAT EXAMPLE OF HOW WOMEN CAN DISAGREE AND STILL BE CIVIL AND LOVING …I AM SO PROUD TO BE A PART OF YOU LADIES!!!!!
“ANOTHER GREAT EXAMPLE OF HOW WOMEN CAN DISAGREE AND STILL BE CIVIL AND LOVING …”
KGrandma, winelover, and I never had any issues and our affection is sincere, not a result of disagreeing and still being civil. Please don’t patronize.
Be happy.
Yakkityy, winelover and Kgrandma
I apologize , and in no way was trying to patronize you are anyone and if anyone feels that I am , Maybe my form of communication is not being made clear,
Writing is not always felt and heard like words and expressions, I am very serious about my purpose and it sure is not to harm, demean or offend.
Peace Heatlh Weath and Love.
Apology accepted, in spite of your screaming at us.
Be happy and enjoy the rest of your summer.
Apology accepted fayetteSIPP. :-)
Good I was not screaming at you …. I am not a screamer, ask my children…..I believe we had this discussion once before someone use BOLD CAPITAL and it ended up they could not see the small letters, seeing that we see it differently I will try not to use it in a response to you…but if I make a mistake …know this I am not a screamer and would not insult you or anyone by screaming….communication is important and as we can see without it
people are left with the wrong conclusion …..
Peace Health Wealth and Love.
I wrote you a good post and it woudl not come up..I am so tired I will never do this again I will write /save/ copy/ and then paste…(lol) all that work , but any way thanks KGramma….tomorrow
Been there… did that… lost everything I wrote, a few times, before my son told me to just do my writing in my own computer, then copy and paste it onto VN’s site. … So, 95% of the time, I just write in my word processor, do my spell check and then copy and paste. That is why, I try to only write in the family and relationships section.
These are usually serious concerns and I can take a few days to think about it, before I write a response, regardings stated concerns. I think women who comes on this site and lay open their hearts, are really in pain… that’s why I like to think about, whether or not… I can help them to look at their concerns in a different way. So, I think about it for a couple of days, before I write and post. This way, my hopes is… that I can really help a little bit.
It is morning and I am back to say thank you Gramma, there is a core group of women that I especially love to blog with and you are one. I don’t have to agree with everything anybody says and they don’t have to agree with me …but I believe we just need to respect people’s right to be wrong or be wrong ourselves and think someone else is wrong(lol)
I have grown to find out that my some of my truths …that I would have died for (and almost once did die)…are now the LIES of my past.Therefore I try to think out of the box.
I want to help with unity , I believe we are all one…and of one…
I use to be quick witted and smart tongue and set people in their places when I was younger …it was my “defense system” I don’t need that I like being more simplistic and mindful of peopel because I teach The Power of Words and they do hurt ,but everybody is not me and thank God for That we need a little Salt . Pepper . and Sugar in our life or it would be dull this is how I see VN some are Salty, some or Sweet, and some or a balance of the combination. If we were all on one accord and did’nt go “up stream” every once in awhile ..we would not enjoy the threading if it read all the same. How could we learn ?
LET ME GET ONE THING STRAIGHT (loL) Some may not like my logo picture…that’s OK I do and that is what is important I get a kick every time I see Yakkity shark ..it says something about her personality ..she keeps it real”for her style”…and sharks usually don’t attack unless provoked and you don’t see them often but when they do come up you know it’s” on” yes Sharks are beautiful as all creatures …now if we could all see the beauty in oursleves and each other . Thanks again Gramma
Love Peace Health Wealth Love
Fay, I love posting and sharing with you also. Actually, when I was younger I was known for my quick witted sarcastic , smart tongue also!!! How funny!! I also have/had what others that knew me called “the look”!! But, like you, with age and maturity and Lots of God’s Help, I have found that I want to be more uplifting of a person…I pray about it every day. My own family have seen the changes in me….(but sometimes, I must confess, I still let my husband have it! ha!) My mother , yesterday, told me how much I have changed….and I said “by the grace of God” I do want to show God’s Love AND Forgiveness in my life….I understand what you are saying about salt, sugar, or pepper….I personally, just don’t like to speak unkindly to others…anymore….not that I don’t blow it once in a while, sigh….and it is hard to see it happen to others….oh, and by the way…my little grandson sleeps with his stuffed shark every night….so how can I have ANYTHING against them….GRRAAAA! (as my little man would say!) Thanks Fay! I think we are probably more alike then we thought!
Gramma,
Please don’t leave this site. Your present is wanted and needed. I enjoy reading many posts, even when I don’t feel up to writing myself, if I’m suffering with my back. As you have stated, “though we come from various backgrounds, families, lifestyles, and economical status, we can all come together here and share our lives, thoughts, and problems” I agree with you 100%. This site is full of kind… understanding… respectful… concerned and compassionated women… who will respect you and be willing to share their hearts and their life experiences with you.
I have felt the sting of a few responders and tried to resolve our misunderstanding in a compassionate way… Whatever conflict appeared to be brewing between myself and who ever the poster was. When I realized my views were not going to be respected, I simply move on.. or.. skipped over the individual’s name, who is being unreasonable or disrespectful. Always remember, it takes two… to have an argument… also remember… with VN’s large membership… many more of us will accept, respect and be willing to share our lives with you… then… those who will disrespect and or reject you out right.
So, what I’m saying… when someone becomes disrespectful, you don’t have to respond to them. You have control of your own actions and reactions… use the control you have over yourself and let it benefit you. You are a very important lady… who needs and deserves respect at all times. All of us, who are 50 years old and older… understand what respect means and we know when we are disrespecting others. We don’t have that right….
I am sure… you have a lot of wisdom and life experiences, that we can benefit us all and if something is bothering you… some of us may be able to help… as well as learning from from you… as you share your own life with us… be it regarding family interactions… conflict with neighbors… work… friendships… health related… self esteem or politics… Whatever is on your mind, I am positive that you will find… many ladies on this site with open ears… warm and compassioned hearts and respect for others…
So, if you ever think about leaving again, don’t let it be, because someone drove you away. If you have to leave for a few weeks, to give your mind a little respite, that’s a different thing… never give up your own power, to someone else. They will not handle it with the same amount of love and care, as you would do for yourself. I hope my little note, just made sense. Take care of yourself Gramma,
Jo
When I read your post I was speechless, it is my style to appreciate anyone who takes out the time to write on my post. To Thank You ..But Alma yes you have offended AA many times in your threads , I remember the first time I came across your thread you were giving out phone numbers and important information on the thread to get your story told . and I was concerned for your safety, The I discovered you and I live in the same city. On my thread you went to great length to tell everyone about the community that I was raised in and the one I work in , I have never kept it a secret I am proud of where I was raised I met some wonderful people there and the value of them did not weight upon them being well known like a Mickey Leeland of whom I went to school with. You went to lengths to down grade the AA in our community, I really am not upset with you , but feel you need to look over your length comments and see what you can find that you would not like to be said about you personally… I really feel sadden to have to do this and I have strayed away , but I decided this morning after reading your feelings about this being your little entertainment…I just want to say Vn can be entertaining but it can be also very important and life saving and as we try to mend the bridge of racism and build unity it is dis hardening to have someone put out information about their own culture that make what we do her difficult, please take this outward letter as my extention to communicate with you personally as sister to sister.
Peace Health Wealth Love. Fayette
Alma you are truly lost and all I have to offer you is pity. As you have confided constantly on these boards, you have a long and horrific history of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse at the hands of men, women, and your own children. Three weeks ago we were exchanging affectionate posts about your daughter’s website–then you turned on me like the proverbial alligator ferrying a “friend” across the river. I realize that self-loathing is a side effect of lifelong repeated abuse, and knowing that fact I cannot allow myself to feel anger towards you. But you are out of line in your depiction of me here and on the Judging Others thread with your totally ridiculous ranting.
If only you had taken the benevolent advice Josephine and others offered you last year: Who Should Replace Oprah. Instead, you remain a craven embarrassment to yourself and to your sisters on VN.
I ask you again, to please get the psychological help you are so direly in need of.
My avatar is beautiful; is not the shark one of God’s creatures?
Written with all the l.o.v.e. I can muster. Be happy.
I have got to say one thing Yakkity …I love the way you can bring references to the table as in your Judging Others and WHo Should Replace Oprah…..WOW all you have to do is hit it and your reference is there.
I got to try that myself one day (lol)
Morning Yak, Yes Alma lashes out if you don’t agree with her thinking and style of reasoning, but she is to be pitied! Even with the abuse I have taken, I will not turn on every male and believe every female can’t stand for/with her children for protection. May GOD help her get help for herself and her children…TRACK
Thank you for responding, TRACK… I have to stop reading on VN before I have my coffee because I am very emotional immediately coming out of the sleep state. Your post speaks the authentic truth of the situation because you have lived it and have healed–do you know the power of your statement “I will not turn on every male and believe every female can’t stand for/with her children for protection?”
The “experts” say that the abused can sometimes be predisposed to abuse others, and you have explained that in this instance the attacks we experience from Alma (and other VN members who have confessed to childhood and/or adult abuse) are forms of abuse. We have been trained to believe this pattern of “payback” occurs only as physical or sexual abuse, but here we are victimized by mental abuse accompanied by screams for help.
You could be very instrumental in revealing and exploring this worldwide Internet phenomenon, TRACK…you would make an excellent host of your own website and forum on the damaging after effects of assault and how we are all effected by it.
Be happy.
P.S. I know you and meigler are going to have a great time in the city, and I wish I could join you but I’m off to some needed vacation time. Have fun.
y1
I agree with yak1 TRACK. You have a gift-an invaluable perspective and a concise, direct manner of communication. Many could benefit from your wisdom.
Yak1 and Winelover, Thanks for your votes of confidence and saying so in public.
So many things are hard to get a handle on, however we must own up and challenge others to stand for their own wrongs without numbing down the situation for easy digestion, forgiveness not ask for. That does not mean hate. With all the females on this site, we keep each other on our toes. Yes, I do like just the facts first, cause emotions can so easity be manipulated to let folk off the hook, mostly family!
Thank you again…TRACK
Everything was written before I could get to this post! Baaaaahhhhh!
Eureka! Found something:
Variety is the spice of life! Hey, without all the ingredients we can find on this site, the recipy turn out a very bland meal. Wouldn’t it?
Smile!
anir
That was the purpose of the Post to appreciate the flavor a women just wait around and it will change from time to time .
Don’t fret, after all you showed up just in time and brought us some sherry.
Nighty-night.
Be Happy.