| Being truly alone | Hot Conversation |
Are there any other women who are truly alone other than friends? I have no family left and I wonder if I am the only one in this situation. I cringe when asked for an emergency contact and have to give my friend instead of a relative!
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ReginaLove, that is SO great to hear! As for soy, it may help with menopause symptoms -- it it controversial. The best way to use soy is in the form of whole fermented soy foods (miso, tempeh, tamari and natto). Non-fermented soy foods such as soy mi
Agreed. I never thought I was vain until I had a mastectomy at age 39. I was devastated and told the doc I wanted to wake up with implants. Now at age 60, I am lopsided and wondering if I was just avoiding the inevitable. You get what you get and you
Sounds very interesting.
Spike, you are awesome! Love your perspective, thanks for sharing.I will turn 53 in 6 weeks and still break out.
May I also assume that your skin is still quite oily and shows no or very few wrinkles? If so...
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!
1) Your skin doesn't look like beat-up luggage now, and probably never wi
I Gayle, I am a 62 year old widow without children. My brother and his wife live in PA. (I am in NJ) I have a 84 year Uncle who, as he is told, wears many hats in my life. I do have quite a number of friends, who I do consider and have become my family. My best friend, who I consider my sister only lives a few blocks from me. (She is married and has a family). She is my emergency contact. Try to not think that you are alone. I did this for so long and made myself extremely depressed and unhappy about it. But I had to realize within myself and with the support of my friends that I am not alone. I had to say to myself to ”work with what you have”. You have to come to terms with the situation and believe me you will see it in a different light. I do hope this works for you. It did for me.
great advise Cliffdee….have you seen “under the tuscan sun”. Diane Lane creates a life for herself in another country. I love that movie…her character and her friends are so inspiring. It’s exactly what you are telling Gayle. Tamara
Thank you Cliffdee! I guess I know this but at this time of year tend to forget. I need to be grateful for my closest friend. My only child, a daughter 27 years old lives in Las Vegas and due to her work schedule and mine I don’t get time to talk with her much on the phone let alone see her. thanks for the reminder, Gayle
Hi Gayle d
I’ve been blessed with family especially my younger sister. We are such dear friends and soul mates. I don’t think you should ever cringe when giving a friend’s name as an emergency contact. Some of my friends are so much closer then my so called relatives. I just had back surgery and it was a real eye opener how many of my friends were more supportive then family. Family means a lot, I can only imagine how you feel. Have you ever seen the movie “under the tuscan sun” with Diane Lane? If not please watch this movie. She travels to Italy alone after a divorce; she begins to create and build her life in another country. I’ve watched this movie 20 times. Why, because there are so many messages in this movie for women. Please rent it the movie, watch it with a few glasses of wine, coffee and or tea. Write me back….I really love this movie and it’s all about building your own life…there are so many beautiful people in the world to connect with…family is valuable….but so are you…create your own. Tamara
Yes, I have seen that movie and have the dvd. I will have to watch it again for inspiration.
Well, I have 3 children BUT they all live quite far awy and to all intents and purposes I am alone. I was widowed 14 years ago and it was the first time I was able to do things all for myself and only for myself. The first time I was able to be what I call selfish. I buy only the foods I like, I go only to the movies I like, I watch only the programs I enjoy, etc.
I hadn’t realized how into my own I have grown until one of my children came to visit…and my daily regimen was upset…
Wow.. a real eye opener… I had to admit that I rather enjoy living today for today.. it is a new phase in life and one I intend to enjoy. I’ve earned it!!!! The old fashioned way…:-))
Hi Ladies,
Thanks for all the inspiring responses. See, we are really not alone. We all shared our lives with each other. I know this time of year does let us reflect back to the “way things use to be”. We do have great memories which we will never forget. But now we are on another path in life and making new memories for ourselves. I must watch Under the Tuccan Sun. Happy Holidays to all.
Hi Cliffdee
You are so right about “the way things used to be”. As humans we hold on to so much past…..not even realizing it. Memories are important but being present and creating new memories, new shared experiences can be so powerful. This year it’s more about giving in different ways. Giving of our love, our time, and helping out others…throughout the year not just this month. No material things…. I love buying gifts but I’m so tired of spending hours shopping, looking for parking, standing in line, wrapping for hours, spending money (money I can give to those who really need it). It’s so time consuming…some really enjoy this but I want to do it differently.
Have a yummy glass or two of wine (if you enjoy wine) when watching “Under the Tuscan Sun” with Diane Lane. I love the whole idea of the movie. Sure it’s a movie…but it’s an example of being completely alone and creating a new life….a life that she creates. I hear about these types of stories all the time. It warms my heart. Happy Holidays Tamara
Hi Tamara,
I plan to watch this movie and, yes, I will have that glass of wine. I have felt a “re-birth” happening in my life. I have been through illness, caregiver for my Mother, Father and Husband. I am also a 23 year breast cancer surviorvor. I have looked back at my life and said I made it this far. Now the it is my time to shine. I enjoy life. I love to dance. I have starting to go dancing once a week. I am really enjoying myself. I have my freedom to to want I want to do. I cannot look at my situation and say I am lonely. Because in reality I am not. I wish for all of us women out there that do not have a companion or spouse to really look at our lives and see that we do have much more than we realized. Be happy, be healthy and thank GOD everyday for what we do have. My best to you.
Warm regards,
Dolores
Hi Dolores
You are truly inspirational. Thanks for your wonderful posting. I love women like you who have survived so much, and continue to live, love and enjoy. It’s inspiring to me. I’m home after having back surgery (two weeks ago). I was pretty scared. At 52 this was the first surgery for me. I’ve been blessed to be so healthy. I’ve had lower back, sciatic and leg pain for over four years. A car accident caused an dominal effect….. I just had to tell my manager that I will not be coming back to work. The focus is my health and getting strong again. I used swim, hike, power walk, dance….all that gradually went away. So you can imagine what I’m excited about. My future activity. It was such a big part of me. I wake up everyday, thank God and know it could be SO much worse. It get what you are saying. Two of my dearest friends are breast cancer survivors to. 23 years!!! You go girl! Having a partner is wonderful, but our lives need to be of value no matter if we have children, husbands, partners and family. I’m renting “under the tuscan sun” today. Happy Holidays…keep living the way you do…your story and the way you live will continue to touch those who need to know…keep going and don’t give up. Ciao Tamara
Tas,
I finally got to watch the movie Under the Tuscan Sun. They played it on one of the cable stations over the weekend and repeated it the same night. So I watched it twice. I really enjoyed the movie. Very inspirinng.
Hope all is well with you.
Have a wonderful Holiday.
Cliffdee
Happy Holidays to you Cliffdee!! I’m glad you loved the movie. I’m going to watch it over the Christmas Holiday. We (my two daugthers) are renting inspirational, warm and fuzzy movies while we eat lots of crab (2.99 a pound in California) and a warm spinach salad with sliced apples. I got that from Wine and Food magazine.
Hopefully I’ll see you on other postings. We have an intense Healthcare reform threading going on right now…join us go to News and Politics….page 14 to 20 to find the thread…it’s great 132 postings right now. Ciao Tamara
Hi Tas,
Your plans sound terrifc. The crab with spinach is a “must try”. Enjoy!
I will definitely go to site you are referring too! Must join in and see what the Ladies are talking about. This is a very important topic and I would like to be informed on what is happening.
Again,wishing you and your daughters a Happy Holiday.
Ciao,
Cliffdee
Hi Tas,
Your plans sound terrifc. The crab with spinach is a “must try”. Enjoy!
I will definitely go to site you are referring too! Must join in and see what the Ladies are talking about. This is a very important topic and I would like to be informed on what is happening.
Again,wishing you and your daughters a Happy Holiday.
Ciao,
Cliffdee
When I was younger, one of my fears was to be alone and have no family or friends, actually it still is, although none of my fears have come true. The only thing I think would be worse, is to be in that position and so poor or homeless and aging. It makes me sad to think about it and then I get mad at myself because I do not get out there and volunteer to help such people.
I think that will be my new year’s resolution. Thank you for the wake-up post.
Gayle,
I am in the same situation and have learned to deal with it the hard way. My step-children are stranged
and life is short, take one day at a time and look for answers from within. I stay busy. Here in Cincinnati
it is very hard to find a support group. Hang in there…carmen
GAYLE,
MERRY CHRISTMAS, i TOO AM ALONE, SO KEPT BUSY TODAY. THOUGHT ABOUT YOU. TAKE CARE.
CARMEN, THANK YOU! I KEPT BUSY AND NOW AM LOOKING FORWARD TO A NEW YEAR! WITH A LITTLE LUCK AND DETERMINATION MAYBE I WILL BE ABLE TO MOVE TO A PLACE LESS ISOLATING. IF NOT I WILL TRY HARDER TO MAKE THE BEST OF LIVING HERE.
HI GAYLE,
GLAD TO HEAR YOU MADE IT THROUGH. I TOO WOULD LIKE TO MOVE TO A CITY WHERE I CAN MOV EAROUND EASIER. I TURNED 61 A FEW WEEKS AGO AND AM STARTING TO FEEL ACHES AND PAINS. IT IS WONDERFUL THAT TODAY WE CAN ALL COMMUNICATE WITHOUT EVEN MEETING AND REACH OUT TO EVRYONE. BEST OF LUCK WILL KEEP INCLUDING YOU IN MY PRAYERS. TAKE CARE AND KEEP INTOUCH.