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Adopting a child at 50 Most Liked Hot Conversation

I am a happy, single professional,  and 52 thinking of adopting a baby/chld. 

Any thoughts and comments are welcome.

Posted in family & relationships.

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93 Responses

  1. Generic Image jazz says

    absolutely ridiculous. How selfish for the child. You should have thought about this when you were younger. You’ll be 54 by the time you get pregnant and have the baby. And who’s the father gonna be?. I am 52 and was brought all my life not knowing who my parents were. Now you want to bring a child into the world not knowing who the father is for your selfish reasons….give me a break. Your 52 yrs old! Think about it. Think about the child not just yourself

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    • Generic Image Amyta says

      In all fairness she did say she wanted to ADOPT.

      3 like

      • Beth Beth says

        You are correct….she did say she wanted to adopt.  But, she may want to have the same considerations.   AGE has alot to do with being able to support a child mentally, financially, and have the physical strenght to do it.  Helps if you have a partner to share the parenting with.  But then again, who am I to say anything.  I am not the normal mother.  I was married before I had any thought of a child….married to the same man for 28 years, and he was the father to all four of my children.  A real novelty in this day and age.

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  2. melodyanne melodyanne says

    Hi Tobia…

    Well..I guess youre post has hit a nerve with alot of women…I would like to put in my two cents also! I adopted a little girl Russia when I was 46 and my husband was 45…she was almost 9 months by the time we got her home. I would not change a thing…not one single thing! She is brilliant, beautiful, loving…and I dont miss one day being grateful that I have been blessed to have both my children in my life. I will say this…from what I can see from all the women and men Ive since met who have adopted from China..Russia..the USA (literally all over the world)…every single person is different. I have seen parents who were young ..say in their 30′s who were exhausted by the new life brought into their home..and yes..I know a mom (via the church) who adopted a 4 month old girl from Columbia…and she is 54 and has the energy and excitement and joy of a 20 year old…This baby has added such love into her world and they are both the happiest I have ever seen. I might also say..each baby is different..some sleep thru the night and some are a little more work…but all in all..I dont think I would reach out for other peoples opinions..they will always vary…just as people never seem to agree on anything. I think you should just look inward and truly follow your heart. I wanted children so badly I could never have been swayed by anyone elses opinion…(other than my husbands and sons..because they were part of the process too obviously)..but I was confident I would be a loving mom and I truly truly wanted to give my life and love to a child…so basically if this is what you want..and you know you are patient and loving and financial secure enough to handle it..then go for it. I wouldnt let age ever ever keep me from having my dream…not as long as i was healthy and certain of my goals. Age really is a number..and most women in their 50′s today look like women in their 40′s..some …even in their 30′s..and if you are strong and healthy physcially..there is no reason at all you cant be the proud mommy of a baby..Follow your heart..and check out every avenue..I might suggest you look at IFS.org…which is the agency I went thru..If you are considering foreign adoption..they discuss every country and what the age limits are in each one..(also any restriction each individual country might have)…they also do adoptions statewide if you prefer a USA baby. 

    I had such a great experience…and I look at my daughter and truly believe we were meant to be together.

    I wish you the very very best…

    5 like

    • melodyanne melodyanne says

      Im sorry..I gave the wrong info to the adoption agency…the web addy is

      http://ifservices.org/

      I had to look it up..its been awhile.!!  : )

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    • melodyanne melodyanne says

      One last thing..approval from people is highly overrated…ask for suggestions..which is a super idea…but once you know exactly what you want…go for it.  I adopted before there were sites like these so I went to the only sources I knew..friends and professionals…The friends were divided and more than one brought up my age and made the “how selfish of me” comment….and the “you should have thought about children sooner” retort. I was nonplused by both these responses..1. I had thought about children sooner..when I got married at 26..I immediately tried to get pregnant…and after 5 IVF’s that were unsuccessful over a 15 yr period…I turned to Adoption…unfortunately time doesnt stand still and everything takes time..so yes..I was older than a pert 30 yr old…but I still didnt think of myself as old..and I dont today…2.The professionals told me to expect a child that would never bond with me..would most likely be mentally delayed and God knows what else. I followed my heart and my gut and pretty much trusted the Universe. Today I have an incredibly beautiful teen ager who is top in her class and as far as bonding…well…ha!…she is most guilty of hugging us..and telling us how much she loves us..pretty much daily…and shes got the kindest biggest heart…so…what can I say…maybe i was lucky…but maybe it was meant to be…(I choose the latter!!)

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    • Generic Image jazz says

      oh pleeeez…how fair is it for a kid in their teens to have parents in their late 60′s early 70′s…this also totally embarrasing for the kids….how active are you gonna be,,,,why dopt from russia when there are tons of kids in this country needing to be a dopted.Get a grip….you just want some to take care of you when you get old adopting at that age…its for selfish reasons

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      • Generic Image jazz says

        adoption or not….its clear that you are looking for someone to take care of you and hubby when you get old…so now you decide you want to adop…..pleeez….give me a break at 53?

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      • melodyanne melodyanne says

        Wow Jazz…what a loving totally non judgemental response from you!!!  You must be a wonderful human being..

        I am so happy you did not adopt….particularly for the child.

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      • Generic Image jazz says

        I was a dopted I know what its like…its not judgemental is true…think about the kids when you adopt. My parents were in their late forties, and my childhood was hell and not to mention embarrasing. They were just to old to do anything, they were ready to settle down when I was in my teens. I was their slave for cooking, cleaning ….you name it, I had to do .There was never any time to play and just be a child. Now I’m  an only child having to care for both of  them plus my kidsby myself, as my husband was killed 2 yrs ago in a car accident.By the way Melodyanne….I am a very nice person…but I’ve been there…have you? and yes I am a wonderful person, according to all the people in my life…your opinion just doesn’t matter…the people who I love…its there opinions that count…..and by the way I have 2 kids of my own and twins that I adopted when I was 32(NOT 53) and they are all wonderful. So give me a break…..my kids are awesome, cause I was young enough to do things with them and be with them all the time whenthey needed me to be.

         

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      • Generic Image SecretID58 says

        My parent was an older person and I am also adopted.  If your parents are ill and can not care for themselves, they should go to an assisted living center.  Insist on it and don’t take no for an answer.  If anyone tries to tell you that you should not be insistent about their going to an assisted living or a nursing home, tell they to go to h@&!  I agree it is too much for a younger person to care for older people.  Too many people see their children as little servants and it’s just not right.  I think Tobiasusa is too old to adopt a baby.  She should adopt an older child.  I have sent my comments to her in a private message.  

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      • melodyanne melodyanne says

        Well..Ive got interesting news for both of you…It doesnt matter HOW old your parents are when you are born..they will still eventually get OLD…and it also doesnt matter whether you are young or older when that happens..its still very difficult. My mother and father were young when they had me..but I still have to take care of my mother now that shes older. Im sorry..but I just flat out dont agree with either of you..Each and every case is unique..and this preconceived notion that Tobias wants to adopt now because she is looking for a care taker IS a judgemental call..Neither of you know nothing of her situation..nothing at all..for all you know she is financially able to care for herself when she needs that kind of care…Neither of you knows…

        I WAS an older mother when I adopted my daughter..and I can tell you now…AGE has ZERO to do with health…heck I look 20 years younger than some of the “younger” mothers I see..I am in better physical shape than a lot of them.

        It amazes me that either of you feel “qualified” to tell ANYONE whether they should adopt or not. Just because you had a “bad” situation Jazz…does not mean that all adopted children are going to share your experience. And how horribly shallow and pathetic that you were “embarrased” because the people who tried to give you a home were not “young” enough for you… truly pathetic.  I suppose if they had been in their 20′s and obese that would have been more appealing to you..or perhaps if they looked like Brad and Angelina…

        And Yes..I have “been” there…as I said..I have two adopted kids right now..and oddly enough..they dont seem to be the least bit bothered by my appearance or age…But hey…thanks for asking..

        5 like

      • Generic Image SecretID58 says

        Melodyanne,

        I can see you feel slighted in some way by the opinions Jazz and I have but I do think we address some very real issues concerning adopting.  It is unfortunate that when you post on a forum you only see the words and don’t hear or see the expressions of the person who is posting.  This, I feel, leads to people thinking others are judging a situation harshly.  I am not doing that.  But I am attempting to present a realistic point of view that come from my experience as an adopted person.  And I think Tobiasusa wants all the opinions, both for or against her potential adoption.  Otherwise she would not have posted on this forum.  

        For the record, maybe Jazz was embrassed by the appearance of her mother, but I was not.  I responded to the core ideas Jazz was expressing.  ELDER CARE IS A REAL ISSUE AND SHOULD BE ADDRESSED WHEN YOU ARE BECOMING A MOTHER AT 52.  It is extremely difficult to be a caretaker to an aging parent when you (the child) are in the 20 to 30 year old range! It is a burden no young person should have to experience. It is horrible to be a young person having to make health and medical decisions for an aging parent.  When you are young you are supposed to be exploring YOURSELF, finding out what you ant to do with your OWN life, starting your OWN family and experiencing your own life free of the complication of elder care.  These are important stages human beings should experience.  Like it or not, it is entirely possible for Tobiasusa’s adopted child to have elder care issued when they are in their early 20′s!  Even though younger people have health problems, and while some people may be in good health at 70 plus (or even 50), there is a greater chance that they may develop issues at that age. Jazz may think Tobias wants a caretaker and she is entitled to her opinion. But IMO the chance is realistically greater that her child will become a caretaker!  I think you are sensitive to this issue because you are an older mother.  I hope you have made plans like having long term care insurance. But it’s not just the money – it’s the emotional difficulties  that follow.   It is a very real issue whether you have a child or not.

        I feel qualified to tell anyone about adoption because I AM adopted.  I’ve graduated from Adoption University – The college of life experience!  There is no book you can read to instinctively feel what it is like to be adopted.  The adopted have problems that you can not imagine.  I could start a topic on so many issues concerning adoption that it would take me a LONG time not to repeat myself.   I am sincerely happy that things are going well for you and the children you adopted.  People don’t see so many things about being adopted because they often can’t hear the silent subtext that society says about it.  We who are adopted hear it LOUDLY!

         

         

        2 like

      • melodyanne melodyanne says

        April…You are incorrect..I dont feel slighted in the least..truly…I just dont agree with either of you. Its difficult to take anything Jazz says seriously when she throws in comments like..”why adopt from Russia”…That has nothing to do with the topic at all…and frankly I cant imagine what difference it makes? A child needing a home..is a child needing a home..I dont see which country that child coming from having any importance at all…Love is love.  I am also amazed at the resentment you both seem to carry ..(most particularly Jazz) towards being adopted and/or your adopted parents. If your bio parents gave you up..which most obviously they did…then what alternative to adoption would you have preferred? Living in an orphanage? foster care? on the street? I mean seriously. You seem to feel ALL adopted children feel this silent subtext…etc etc. All these comments tell me is that both of you are still thinking in a generation that has passed…long passed..Society today thinks absolutely nothing about whether a child is adopted or not…there is no stigma..Good grief..in todays mixed families of step brothers and sisters…parents of the same sex…divorced..remarried and sometimes remarried again..there is NO judgement about who came from where or why. My brother was adopted…he is probably of your generation and he has talked about it before and could care less….he was just always happy to have two loving parents and a happy loving family. This truly is my last post on this subject…but I can tell you now..that being old is more mental than anything else…and your way of thinking is quite dated really…

        Im sorry that you had a hard time with being adopted…it seems to me you were lucky..to have had people who so wanted you enough to pay for your clothes food etc…to go thru the vigorous process of adoption and to call you ‘their child’..Its not an easy process you know. But your doubts etc..should not be transferred to anyone elses situation…it is your alone..so this “We who are adopted..” nonsense..is just that…NONSENSE.  When a person starts believing that their situation and their feelings are true for everyone..its a mess you shouldnt create.

        My advise to Tobias is simply to follow her heart..do the best to make her vision a reality..be wise..and take into consideration all aspects..but in the end to realize that every situation is unique..and somewhat of a crap shoot…but can be well worth it in the end for both parties.  |

        As for Jazz…before she throws her opinion into the ring..I ask that she takes the time to know what shes talking about…I do..and i can tell you that the children who are NOT adopted in Russia..dont always fare very well…not well at all…they want to be adopted..they want a chance..a home etc. Althought things are getting much better in Russia..when we adopted it was a bleak situation for the children in orphanges who were never adopted ..very bleak. So though its none of your business at all..where I adopted from..at least do some research before you make an idiotic comment like “why Russia?”

         

        2 like

      • Generic Image SecretID58 says

        melodyanne,

        You have said a lot.  Your last posting specifically pointed to a lot of things that bother adoptees.  I’m going to try and address them point by point.

        Jazz has her own feelings and her own experiences. I have mine.  You seem to think that my parents were just like hers.  The only thing we agree on is how difficult it is to have sick, elderly parents you have to care for when you are young.  I don’t have any strong feelings about international adoptions.  It is my understanding that people adopt internationally because it can be so difficult to adopt in the USA.

        What is offensive to me is when someone says an adoptee is “lucky” to be adopted.  Children should be cared for by adults.  It is a natural right, a human right and a crime against society to neglect children.  Someone should care for a child.  Lucky IMO implies that there is a choice to care or not to care for a child.  For me it is immoral to not take care of a child.

        Also I think what you may be hearing is the particular subtext of adult adoptees in our age group.  I do however feel all adoptees have a subtext about adoption.  They may just not talk about it with you, or you have never met anyone who revealed it to you.  Woman who would be the appropriate age to be my mother were basically abused by society. They were not allowed to keep their children.  The children and their biological mother were considered immoral outcasts.  So many adoptees (both child and mother) are trying to find each other, their family medical history etc.  And many adoptees today have issue with the fact that adoption records are sealed, that they lose their original birth certificate.  This is why open adoption is becoming more popular.  And for the record I am AGAINST open adoption.  It’s another can of worms that has the potential to be a kettle of trouble for everyone involved.  I’m the product of an open adoption.  I am FOR the free access and opening of adoption records when the child reaches the age of adulthood and not before that time.

        I still say that I think it is better to adopt an older child if you are an older person.  I also think it is better (in the case of an older mother who may pass away) for a child to have a short period of great love and parenting rather than none at all.  But IMO the preferred choice is an older child for an older parent.  Why do you think I have to be angry because I believe that is the best option?  Not necessarily the only option but the BEST option.  

        1 like

      • Generic Image Robin Bird says

        I applaud you on your honesty.  I really wish adoptive parents would listen to adoptees, as well as other adoptive parents.  Adoptees will all have different experiences, as they are different people with different circumstances.  There are plenty of adoption listservs out there that include both adoptees and adoptive parents that are very helpful. 

        As I’ve said before, education is very important. While one must follow one’s heart, one must also follow logic and common sense.   It should always be in the “best interests of the child”.  The child’s welfare should ALWAYS come first.  The most important issue should be that children are found good homes with competent agencies who are ethical… and therein lies another serious issue…

        1 like

      • Generic Image SecretID58 says

        I appreciate your kind words and I thank you for them.  I do firmly believe when it comes to parenting of any kind, biological or adoption, the child’s welfare should come first.  To many people become parents mainly to satisfy some need within themselves that should be fulfilled in another way.  There is a lot of selflessness involved in becoming a parent.  People who have not been adopted, even in today’s world, often do not understand what it is like.  I particularly hate that “you are/were so lucky” thing that many people feel about adopted people.  It’s so insulting.  People never tell biological children that they are lucky that their parents cared for them.  Being adopted is an experience that involves so many things.  It takes a very open person to see the subtext that this society puts out.  For instance, many people feel adopted children are an inferior choice to biological children.  Why do I say this?  Because people would rather 2nd mortgage their home to have a child than simply adopt one.  Have you ever noticed how people talk about adopting children?  It’s something you have to listen for and what you hear is often insulting and cruel.  It’s so engrained in our society, people don’t even notice what they are saying!

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      • Generic Image jazz says

        Amen!…thank-you April for writing this. Its nice that another person adopted like myself shares my opinion. Melodyanee you’re kinda in la la land with some of your thoughts.Some of them are totally unrealistic. Age has everything to do with it whether you choose to think so or not. I really think you should do more research instead of just comparing everything to what going on with you only.

        Wake up my friend Melodanne, most of what you’re saying is way out here. Have you ever been adopted Melodanne?…probably not . You really don’t know as much as you think then. I am not resentful at all. I was merely stating the facts. I wondered why adopt in Russia, when there is so many kids here without families. Thats what I said, and once again you took it out of context. You just don’t get what we are saying. Understandably so, you’ve never been there.

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    • Generic Image pats says

      you are so right melodyann, your key words are IF YOU ARE STRONG AND HEALTHY…. And I think we are all saying that in around about way..  Great two cent worth!!Thanks   And she is right tobi,  follow your heart, but just be aware of the challenges and I am sure you are. I

      I adopted when I was 41 and 45 I am now 52 and I do love it My first child is sort of issue free for an 11 yr old and my son who just turned 9 has many many issues, as some of you have helped me through, It has been wonderful but very tiring.  I had, but hopefully finishing up my menopause, if that is possible, and it was very hard.   They do keep me young and gray!!!lol, but the days that are without incident ARE AWESOME!!!  So really follow your heart!!  lot of love and luck with your decision.

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    • Generic Image pats says

      you are so right melodyann, your key words are IF YOU ARE STRONG AND HEALTHY…. And I think we are all saying that in around about way..  Great two cent worth!!Thanks   And she is right tobi,  follow your heart, but just be aware of the challenges and I am sure you are. I

      I adopted when I was 41 and 45 I am now 52 and I do love it My first child is sort of issue free for an 11 yr old and my son who just turned 9 has many many issues, as some of you have helped me through, It has been wonderful but very tiring.  I had, but hopefully finishing up my menopause, if that is possible, and it was very hard.   They do keep me young and gray!!!lol, but the days that are without incident ARE AWESOME!!!  So really follow your heart!!  lot of love and luck with your decision.

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  3. Generic Image shimmy says

    After just watching the “Blind Side” I would say adopt an older child!  I am a healthy 59 year young grandmother of 5 and the situation for a couple of my grandchildren was that I helped raise them until the situations changed.  I must say that it was exhausting but very rewarding.  At almost 60 I feel good about the burden being lightened a little bit lately.  I will always have a loving bond with them and am so glad to have been able to be “grandmother.”  We are very important in the lives of children.  My own dear parents and grandparents passed away when I was teen and twenties, but I had my childhood with my grandparents only a couple of blocks away and I adored them and feel that they were an important part of me and my success and strength as an adult.  However, nothing can compare to the absolute heartbreak and complete lonliness I experienced of losing them so young.   I also believe my children missed out on what a grandparent can provide.  Every child need a family!   I always wanted to adopt a family of children so they would not be torn apart by the system but it did not work out for me.  You might also look into the organizations that help children who have no parents.  It is very rewarding!  There are so many children right here in America that are in horrible situations that way. Just my thoughts on it.  Hope they help.  Good luck to you! 

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  4. rubytuesday rubytuesday says

    I am 59 1/2:) I am still raising a little girl I got through foster care @ 4 1/2 mos, she is 14 1/2 yrs old now. Many teens that were adopted will have “adoption issues”. Many were drug & alcohol exposed prenatally even before birth mom knew she was pregnant. Even with normal IQ or gifted, they may have social/emotional delays up to 50% their chronological age and impulsivity, behavioral and sensory issues consistent w/ FASD. There is much mental illness in this population, some using substances to self-medicate, chemical dependency and bipolar(manic depression) run in families. Some are very vulnerable and never independent. Divorce stats are high if you do ever consider a partner. You may want to retire and with a special-needs child that may not be an option. You will not know if there are mild FASD characteristics until the child is in third or fouth grade, and learning becomes more abstract unless there are behavioral issues. Sometimes mental illness comes out in puberty. Be sure you have a community of support. It can be lonely since most older parents are done with this stage, except a few raising grandkids.

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  5. Generic Image Anonymous1 says

    Hi Tobiausa:  I am 51 and have also been thinking about a child except I have kids 28, 26, 18 and 14 and will be an empty nester in 4 years.  I am investigating FOSTER PARENTING vs Adoption.   With Foster Parenting the minimum amount of time the child will  be with you …my understanding is 5 mo’s..and a maximum of ???.  I am looking specifically at children ages 10 and up.  As in 8 years I will be 59 years old; that is old enough for me.  You may want consider what everyone else is saying. Definitely ADOPT or FOSTER and older child.  They are out of diapers and you only need after school child care until you get home from work. 

     

    I support your decision… DO IT…but ensure it’s a child that will be 18 or older when you are in your senior years.

     

     

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    • rubytuesday rubytuesday says

      It varies by state, school-age kids I had usually finish out the school year. They are often taken from parents in Oct though holidays, when the school picks up there are problems in the home. They are returned to parents, family members (often dysfunctional), or placed in Fost to Adopt or Adoptive homes if parental rights are terminated. Most states need to find permanant homes ASAP.

      Some were for just for a few months while parents were in drug rehab, doing parenting classes, or in jail for drugs. You will have no say about, when or if, they are returned to birth-parents or transfered to a different county to make visitation easier. I never figured out how to be a good parent without falling in Love with them, so there was frequent greiving when they leave. They don’t get good mental health services if any.

      The teens are harder to keep up with, than younger school age, and often have more issues. In terms of being aware of what they are doing 24/7 and keeping them from getting pregnant or in legal trouble. I would not trust a troubled teen unsupervised, you need to be aware of their friends and what they do on free time. They may have no bond with you and few will feel grateful, you will have to be OK with that, and things may get stolen or pawned etc. These are not usually middle-class kids (although many are) but they all have lived in survival mode most of their lives, and it is not always pretty nor safe. Many have FASD and can be high-functioning. I have had 8 foster kids over the years, step, and 3 grown birth-kids.They are now ages 14-40 yrs.

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      • natcha natcha says

        I haven’t been following this for a while and it’s interesting to see how much heat it’s generated. The recent posts have been very practical and, again, eyes wide open! I’m the one who adopted my (only) son when I was 50 and he was 10. The emotional and financial resources that have been required in nurturing him out of his neglected and abused background have been tremendous and I’m fortunate that I own a successful consulting company and was able to do so. Perhaps maturity helps in this regard.

        At the same time, I understand the compulsion to raise a child – despite some true and very scary hardships, I’d repeat our process in a heartbeat. BUT I’m not single. I’d take small steps. When people ask me about adopting older children, I suggest – as others have – that you foster initially, like living together before marriage. And while you’re pondering, why not become a big sister to a little girl? (But do keep in mind that that is nothing like raising them! It just takes it a wee step out of the theoretical zone.)

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      • Beth Beth says

        Kudos to you Ellen.  Sorry, but the fostering part initially, like living together before marriage?  I for one do not go for that practice.  You either are married or not….not something we try on for size or comfot.  Being a parent is the same, not matter how the child is when you adopt him. I know there is a “trial period” when you adopt.  Too bad the law does not offer that with the marriage laws….wait, wait…that is called an annulment.

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      • Generic Image pats says

        Well Beth I think fostering is great! that is fostering to adopt!  If the child does not like the family they are placed with then they can opt to go to another home.  This is the nice thing about choosing the foster to  adopt route. They same goes for the parents who adopt children/child who for whatever the reason did not know the grand picture of kids and their issues can opt to help transition the child to another home.  I guess the bottom line is why should a child stay in a home who’s adopted parents  have no love  for them and maybe become abusive or neglectful.  When you look at biological children with abusive parents/family they  have no out. They have to take it until some sees  their situation and report it.  

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      • Beth Beth says

        Pats:

        Fostering is great.  It is what it is…a temporary care of a child.  It amazes me that people have such lofty expectations of what parenthood is and when it gets down to it, fail at the real heart of the matter…being able to nuture another human being with unconditional love and having the mental as well as the physical fortitude to carry it through.  Just my opinion….I guess how I was raised.

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  6. Generic Image Dorris Bach says

    I was in a second marriage and 45 when I adopted a baby.  It was totally unplanned, and since its a whole other story to say an unplanned adoption, we won’t go there.  But I can talk about being old enough to be your baby’s grandmother instead of mother.In fact, don’t get offended when people think its your grandchild.  Because when your going to the kindegarten school program at 55 that is what they will think.  And when all the other mothers in your daughters class are worrying about how to get their figures back, you will be washing away gray hairs.  Then there is all the school functions, that you will be the age of the other kids grandparents. Enough on that.

    You will feel a lot more in control of things, and wiser, and calmer than all the other moms of newborns, because you are. At our age, we have our priorities straight. We know ourselves, so we can focus on our child. But be careful, as a single parent, and older, as I now am, we can tend to over focus too, because we don’t have as many diversions as a busy younger mom.

    Finally, there is the ability to just keep up. And when you refer to -when I was a child – like we start to do as they are teenagers, mine is 13 now – they will ask what century that was.

    Do I regret my decisions about adopting at my age? Not for a second!  Would I do it over again, if I knew then what I know now? I’m not sure. But thats really because of a nasty divorce, and nothing about my daughter.  She fills my life with joy.

    Adoption comes with a whole other rule book as well.  And age isn’t a chapter ever covered.  Good luck.

     

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