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50+ and NEVER married Hot Conversation

I was just wondering how many there are of us out there, that have never married or had kids?? And how you’re handling it?? I was engaged once but it didn’t work out. I was also involved with someone for six years, then we went our separate ways. I used to see him once in a while but now it’s usually at funerals of people we used to know.

Going back to school reunions is the hardest, since everyone is talking about kids, grandkids, etc. I talk about my three ‘kids’, my cats…… 

So never marrieds, how are you dealing with singlehood??

Posted in family & relationships.

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16 Responses

  1. lovemylife lovemylife says

    I don’t qualify but I have a friend, 55 years old who has never married.  She is active in the community, has a career, is close with her family of origin.  She is interesting and always seems to have things to talk about. She was alone for many, many years….I’m talking decades without a significant other.  She has just recently decided to enter the online dating scene.  She owns her own home and has property in another state where she wants to build a house when she retires.  She loves to do home repairs and is quite good at it.  A very well rounded gal.  She also has gotten involved in her nieces and nephews.  She doesn’t feel like she’s missed anything.

    4 like

    • Generic Image Angel says

      Sounds like she has it made. I’m an only child, so there aren’t even nieces or nephews. I have three cousins but they live 3,000 miles away. One cousin moved East but she’s off her meds and is a nutcase. Thankfully I don’t run into her very often.

      0 like

  2. Generic Image grace says

    I have been alone for 20 years I separated for my first and only couple, I am very happy alone but not lonely, but I did not choose this, my children needed me and I enjoy being a mother and a professional women, my career is very interesting and belive me I enjoy having friends and traveling, I have been very happy with my kids and my collegues, and I always try to be useful for my friends and family.

    0 like

  3. persimian persimian says

    Angel:  I – too – have never been married.  Most times I’m ok with it – as a matter of fact I consider it a blessing as opposed to being married with unnecessary stress and drama.  Sometimes I get lonely – but that is rare.  And on those rare occassions I look at my “married” friends or these so-called celebrity marriagaes and see how miserable they are and I’m ok again.  I try to live a full life, but sometimes – like now being unemployed – I realize that it’s all on me and I get depressed.  But – once again – I look at my married friends and realize they have paid a very hard price for the security they “think” they have. 

    2 like

    • Generic Image Angel says

      persimian,

      I feel the same at times. I wish I had someone to share my life with, especially at special times, like holidays. Then as you said, you look at your married friends.  A lot of my friends from high school have divorced, remarried, divorced….  Most of the time I’m OK being single/no kids. I no longer work due to medical problems, so money is tight. At least being single, you don’t have to answer to anyone. You can do what you want, when you want. If I want to stay up late, so what.  Sound selfish….maybe, maybe not. At this stage of my life, I’m not sure I could share my life with anyone, especially under one roof. Sure I’f like someone to take some of the ‘pressure’ off, bills, household chores, etc. but I’ve learned to do a lot on my own. Just because you marry, doesn’t mean security. I guess I was meant to be single, though it wasn’t my first choice.

      1 like

  4. sunnysue sunnysue says

    Hi Angel,  Reading your post reminds me of my own life.  I am 55 years old.  When I was in college, I married by college boyfriend.  We were divorced 2 years later.  Then when I was 25, I re-married, but that lasted 6 months.  So for the past 27, or so years, I have been single.  I do not have any children, and feel the way that you do.  Everyone my age is talking about their kids and grandkids……I feel lonely at times, and I can relate to what you are saying!!

    I am currently dating the same guy, for 9 years now, and he does not want to get married.  I suppose I am okay with that, but I am not sure, at times.  Feeling very lonely today.

     

    Sue

    2 like

    • gail maria gail maria says

      Sue, this is probably no consolation but a lot of people our age are feeling lonely these days regardless of their single or marital status.  Life feels a lot scarier at the moment.  Actually my dog Beefy Boy Elliot is a big help when I feel sad…we go for a walk, just the two of us.  You are definitely not alone in your feeling.  A friend of mine wrote a really helpful book called : “The Ever-loving Essence of You” by Jamie Lerner.  It’s a handbook to “happiness”/a way to change perspective/shift your thoughts.  It is simple and something to keep close at hand.  You can buy it on line and I highly recommend it.  Try it.

      0 like

  5. Jackie Brown Jackie Brown says

    So far I’ve never married nor do I have children, and I can’t imagine my life being any happier than it is.

    2 like

    • Generic Image Angel says

      I guess I dodged a bullet with the man I was engaged to marry. I found out beforehand, that he was cheating on me. I’ll be eternally greatful I found out before we married, rather than after. I’d still like someone to do things with, like going to a show, dancing, out to dinner. It’s fun to do with my married friends and other girl friends but it’s isn’t the same. I’d say I’m mostly content with the hand I was dealt but there are times when it would be nice to have a man around. As long as I could say bye, when I want ‘my’ time.

      1 like

      • gail maria gail maria says

        I can’t remember if you said you did this but go on the internet and date up a storm.  There are 10 million men all looking for a date.  It may or may not lead to anything but it does make you feel PRO-ACTIVE.  Sometimes that is enough to energize oneself.  There are a lot of duds but do it for fun and a way to get out , have a drink and talk. 

        1 like

      • Generic Image Angel says

        I have tried dating services and all I ever was matched up with were questionable. Once tried, twice shy….don’t care for that route. Some people do have good luck though. More power to them.

        0 like

      • gail maria gail maria says

        I know it can be horrid but it is a way to jump start yourself and feel like you’re taking control if you feel like it’s all overwhelming and out of control.

        1 like

    • gail maria gail maria says

      you always rock girl!

      0 like

  6. Generic Image grace says

    perhaps you were a daughter all your life, and you listen advices, I married and my marriage was a disaster, I cry so much, you never made a mistake, you have not suffer like me,then you have been a happy women without a painful experience of separation or divorce, 

    0 like

    • Generic Image Angel says

      Yes, I’ve been a daughter and granddaughter all my life. Oh, I’ve made plenty of mistakes, we all have. There was someone I should have married but was too dumb at the time to know it. Well, he married a friend of mine, he met through me…..I’m still kicking myself over the one that got away. He is the nicest guy you’d ever want to meet. But they say hindsight is 20/20 and I guess we weren’t meant to be.

      I’m sorry your marriage didn’t work out for you. Yes, I’m lucky that I didn’t suffer through separation or divorce (someone must have been looking out for me that time). I keep telling myself there are still plenty of good men out there, I just haven’t found them.

      0 like

      • gail maria gail maria says

        They are hard to find. A lot of compromises need to be made at this stage.  Have a top 5 list of attributes/qualities you want in a man and stick to those….because that’s all you get….so chose wisely.

        0 like

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