I live with my husband who just turned 80 and has Alzheimer’s. This, I think will be helpful:
1. Reach out and touch someone.
Touching those we care about releases oxytocin, a powerful hormone that helps us bond with others, lowers blood pressure, and reduces levels of cortisol, the stress hormone.
2. Play some tunes.
The right kind of music can change the heartbeat of a household: Dixieland jazz gets most people tapping their toes, show tunes can bring back memories, bluegrass can evoke a larger American landscape, and the sound of ukuleles or reggae can transport listeners to a distant and exotic place.
3. Eat together.
The simple acting of eating can be a powerful mood booster. Sitting down with someone to an afternoon cup of tea and a piece of chocolate packs a double punch: It gives you the chance to take a physical break and helps you make an emotional connection to the person eating with you.
4. Find the hammer that cracks a smile.
People get cranky for a lot of reasons: physical aches or chronic pain. And here’s good news: A recent study found that even in people with memory loss, the feeling of happiness often lasts longer than whatever triggered it. When a person with memory loss watches an old episode of I Love Lucy, for example, the smile lingers long after the show has ended.
5. Keep things positive.
This can get hokey, but once you find what works for your family, it has the potential to become tradition. Next time you’re at the store, pick up some birthday candles and a pack of matches. You can turn anything into a celebration by dimming the lights, sticking a candle in a piece of food, and presenting it to someone who could use an emotional boost.
One caregiver in Fresno, California, says she does this quite often with her mom, who has Alzheimer’s. She sings a quick ditty to the tune of “The Farmer in the Dell”: “We had a good day! We had a good day! Hi-ho the dairy-o, we had a good day!”
She says her mom’s face lights up, she claps, and it’s an easy way to change her mood, especially if they’ve been having a less-than-stellar day.
http://www.care2.com/greenliving/5-ways-to-make-living-with-an-older-adult-easier.html
to wiser now:
you have come to the right place! everyone is giving you great advice. you are strong, you will make it. so all i am going to say is to contact this person. she helped me so much when i left him one year ago, after a lifetime togethe
I wish everyone thought like you!
Remember the movie "Eat,Pray ,Love" with Julia Roberts and a scene where her friend Sophie said she couldn't eat too much pizza because she gained too much weight and had a muffin top.Julia Roberts or Liz said a man didn't really care because h
Rose:
Where are the friends of YOU and YOUR Husband before he passed? Those are the ones to keep in your life. All these "other" people who are popping up now are not friends as you can see.
I agree with the comment about finding a financia
This is such wonderful information!!! It’s so hard to know what to do, especially when their mental facilities are waning. Thank you so much for sharing this!
Deanie, this is a great list! I think it is applicable with anyone, young or old.
“I Love Lucy” – how could anyone argue – even if the mind is trapped and need to either be released or simply needs a bit of a release, an old favorite of any kind should help to crack a smile or at least a comfot that is familiar – (my Dad ran through his Victor Borga tapes and Red Skelton until they were raggedy, but he laughed until he cried and it would soften the cranky fog).
great post!
Thank you Deanie…..very useful information. I began a few months ago to drive my Mother around because she recently had her drivers license taken away for health reasons….She is still a vital , independent woman, and is very angry at this loss of freedom…She actually is busier than I ever was! We work out together (she at 79 is more fit than I am) and visit the eye doctor, ear doctor, doctor doctor, grocery store, drug store, and if I am lucky fashion stores with a lunch included….=] I think that we participate all of your 5 points in a variety of ways….This experience has brought us even closer together and we both feel blessed and cherish this time together…I am thankful that at this time I am not working or have other reasons to be too busy to help her…We often take time for tea and she brings out Chocolate that she has saved just for her and I (though, she still gives still gives me articles on diet and exercise)…..=]