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divorce after 38 year marriage

I live in a state that has no fault divorce laws..Division of assets/debts/pension would be  50/50..I am the one that wants the divorce..I am living behind a huge wall of fear though..I am recently retired and  am living on a modest pension income..I have moderately severe health issues which were my reason for taking retirement..I was of retireable age and years of service.. My health issues prevent me from going back to work full time...My husband is voluntarily unemployed.He refuses to find work, and he knows  that I want a divorce..He is addicted to internet porn and a memeber of multiple dating sites..He had an affair which I found out about, he he has been unremorseful and blames me and the marriage for his choice to have the affair...As a result of his attitude we have been separated.. We still live under the same roof in our jointly owned house that has been paid off..I was considering the idea of staying in the home and staying married to him until death do us part..The problem with that decision as I see it is that he has a past criminal record( arrest happened when our kids were babies).. I would have to live with myself for giving up and staying with a useless unremorseful cheating douchebag... I also have a slight fear of him doing/buying something behind my back that I would be partially liable for..

I can't see how I am going to get out of this marriage via divorce without my husband taking me to the cleaners..He will make a claim for alimony and 1/2 of my pension, leaving me unable to support myself unless I go back to work full time.. Any advice or sharing of your stories welcome..


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