VN Editors

Depressed son

I wonder if there is anyone here who can help me with this situation. I have a 25 year old son who since graduating from University has not worked.  He has become increasingly depressed and withdrawn. He has no friends, and no life to speak of. The whole family are sick with worry about him.  My husband and myself are due to relocate to the country in a year's time, and since he can't drive, he will be stuck at home with us in our retirement. He doesn't want this and is desperate for some independence, but can't get a job.  He has been unemployed too long now, and has no references. He has volunteered at a residential community twice in the last two years, each has lasted three weeks!  He volunteers for a charity several days a week in the afternoons at my insistence, but other than that he does not go out. He tries to o to the gym and for walks around town, but he is very unhappy in this town, as am I.  He feels trapped, desperate and without options, and talks about feeling suicidal. I found him a therapist, who continually let him down by not turning up for appointments, so he is now without a therapist. I try to push him into doing something more productive, volunteering abroad perhaps, but he is feeling so low he finds that an overwhelming thought.  He is angry with his siblings for not doing more to help him, but he is difficult to talk to and approach as he is often angry and rejecting.

I am at my wits end with all this and it is making me ill.  My husband and i don't want to have to take him with us when we retire, but see no option.  My son insists he will not come with us, but what else can he do?  I can't throw him on the street, and I am out of options. I have no friends and my family aren't interested, so I feel i am carrying this alone. My husband doesn't know what to do so just turns away and leaves me to cope


My son does not want to take medication and I can understand why. He has been to the doctor who was hopeless.  I am trying to get him to find another therapist at the moment, but he feels so let down by the last one he finds it difficult to choose someone.  I am worried he is slipping into real  mental illness. I am trying to interact with him more positively and go out with him once a week for lunch, but to be honest I am so exhausted when I am with him i resent doing this.  It's so draining.  If anyone can help who is in a similar situation I would be grateful.


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