I have always had a separate checking account for bills etc. My ex-husband was a spendthrift on nonsense while I had to pawn jewelry to buy X-mas gifts (he is a doctor by the way)....no excuse except his manic spending......that is a major reason why we got divorced.....that and his affair....but that's a whole other post....
I agree with new-name.....I would immediately set up a new account and start putting all your bill money and as well make him give you half the bill money for that account.........and either write checks or do on-line bill pay out of that account....because the last thing you need in addition to dealing with an ill child and a spendthrift husband is bad credit.....or as you suggested, split the bills, but will he be accountable to pay those assigned to him? If a bill isn't paid it will probably go against your credit rating as well as his...Also, I do not carry cash, or very little, a couple of dollars or so, as I use my debit card....you would have to make sure that debit card is password protected (with a password he won't guess)....
Just thinking very quickly as I read your post, my thought would be once his source of what he perceives as limitless funds dries up, his addiciton or whatever he is spending money on will perhaps surface as his need for the extra cash increases....kind of a subtle way of putting the squeeze on him without a huge confrontation, or nailing him as you put it.....I would be more concerned at this point about making absolutely sure bills are covered, and in no way would I allow access to any more of your money until this is all sorted out....and well he is just going to have to be angry about that until he is willing to talk...then perhaps you can discuss an allowance of some sort for his petty cash spending....it is going to be up to you to set the budget and stick to it.
If you need help, I recently took a Dave Ramsey money management class that was pretty good.
Just some thoughts.....but I agree you have a right to be concerned....I'm also thinking his anger is surfacing because he is hiding something he doesn't want you to know.
