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Hi everyone. I just couldn't resist this and have to share something I ran across in one of the threads. This says so much and I hope you don't mind DebB. Thank you.
DebB said to 2melifeisgood 1 week ago
Hi Sister: A friend sent me this when i was going thru a really rough time, it helped me and so i pass it on...hope it helps you to....
A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother.
As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.
'Don't forget your Sisters,' she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. 'They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.' 'Remember that 'Sisters' means ALL the women...your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too. 'You'll need other women. Women always do.'
What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman thought. Haven't I just gotten married?
Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!'
But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with her Sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life. After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned:
THIS SAYS IT ALL:
Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't do what they're supposed to do.
Hearts break.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Careers end. BUT.........
Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you.
A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach.
When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you...Or come in and carry you out. Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family, all bless our life! The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I.
When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still. From: DebB ♥☺
responses (22)
dynnamomma, I called my sister last night. We are not close nor have we ever been. Lot's of water under the bridge. My membership here is going on 5 months and I have learned so much. I know I can throw my feelings out there and I will have so many loving people respond. And some other responses as well. They are both welcome. It is right for me now. Knowing I'm not alone and reading all the advise you have given us, makes me feel loved. Thank you.
Hi MG, Thanks for sharing this post. I had the same situation with my sister "not close", until months before her death just last week. Only in these last few months have we talked like sisters. Her life revolved around her church to the exclusion of everything/everyone else. It was only through suffering an extreme illness that she softened into her old, friendly, self again...my 'real' sister. Too sad.
So, we find sisters, elsewhere. Women who are compassionate, nurturing, and since we share the same not-so-glorious-history, we understand one another. I am grateful for the sisters here on VN...so, hi there sis!! :)
Thank you Evie, I know that about you. I am grateful too. You are on the top of my list for sisters I want to meet.
Hugs.
:) xo's
It is so true - I was a real tomboy when I was young and didn't have anything to do with girls as I couldn't relate to them! As I have grown older I have come to know the depth, love, support and encouragement women give whole heartedly - it truly makes life better.
That's true. I wasn't a tomboy but not too feminine either. I didn't warm up to people very easily. Now, I crave interaction from all women. Sometimes, like yesterday, waiting for my car to get done, I struck up a conversation with a woman and before I knew it, we are all down on the floor with her young children playing pick up sticks with the straw stir sticks that her 3 year old accidentally dropped. I almost hated to leave but it was once again validation that I am enjoying the interchange with all women. Regardless of age. I don't take things so personally anymore so it's even fun when someone doesn't agree with me.
I really enjoyed reading this, and agree that it is so important to have female friends and a wonderful sister to share life experiences with. I have a group of friends that I played basketball with in high school and college and we have kept in touch all of these years. We started getting together for a weekend retreat a few years ago, and it has been so good for my soul. We feel like eighteen year olds when we're together, and talk about everything!
It would be great for me to have people like that in my life. I have'nt kept in touch. Once a year weekend retreat. It's that total acceptance, understanding, toleration and well, love. Can I come?
Sure you can come! We realized at one of the women's 50th birthday parties how much we missed seeing each other, and started planning our reunion as we call it. Most of us live four or five hours from each other, so we've made a real effort to get together. We've had two so far, and they've been a blast. We stay up way past our bedtime, and enjoy an adult beverage or two! :) You're right about total acceptance and understanding, and I've always felt safe to be myself with them.
Love this post!! I just have a brother. So my sisters are my close friends. I have the best living in PA (I'm in MO) we talk once a week & send funny cards to each other ofetn. My other sisters are right here VN. I needed help with depression & anxiety & I received the best responses from right here on VN. My blessed sisters! I will forever be checking & writing on this great website. Thanks to all
Hi debanne,
After reading this from you, I checked out your thread on depression. It's hard to keep up with the new ones but I do navigate around to see what's going on. That was a great one. Wish I had been in on it.
My depression is better. For a while, my family was concerned to the point where everyone contacted me regularly and never left me alone. I'm not sure that was necessary but I'm here. My recurring problem is always rooted in my inability to reach out to friends who, like VN would give advise and share similar stories to help in the process of understanding it all. It's the hardest thing to describe to someone who thinks that it's in our control. It is to a degree. When we are at our lowest, we don't care. Some of us anyway. It changes you. I am currently working through getting my enthusiasm back. My passion for art, sewing, anything really that was a delight before didn't interest me. I thought it was all futile.
I am getting better. Medication is not the route I want to take. Sorry everyone, not saying that it doesn't help, only that it's not me. I took one prescription of Zoloft (sp) and it helped a lot. It took the edge off. But, I believed that I was only delaying the inevitable. It's something I have to work through and medicating myself would numb me to my real problems. Remember when Valium was the answer and people would make references to it in a derogatory way? Ritalin for our children at the least indication? That's what anti-depressants are now. Anyway, it's how I feel, and strongly. I need to be in my natural state. It's working. I believe that some of my depression is a combination of life changes. For me, it was also moving to Mo and being away from part of my family. I also left a very comfortable business that I thought I would retire from.
At 51, I had to start over and it's not easy to find friends who understand you the way your family and old friends do. I would never dream of telling my friends here in Mo what I tell VN almost everyday. The reason is, they don't stop talking about themselves long enough to let anyone else talk. It's true. Here, there are no interuptions and people talking and not listening. Kind of like the View. Ever watch that? Anyway, the other things that go along with this is my husband and I drifted apart. We no longer had common interests and we didn't nurture our companionship and almost ended our then 35 year marriage.
It's time to stop whining but it sure feels good saying it. Thanks debanne, I appreciate you and you are welcome to talk to me anytime sister ;^)
Wow, Moongoddess. Thank you for this great sharing! You are so right about being able to share everything here on VN! Also, I totally agree that when we attempt to share 'in person' folks just start talking about themselves. I guess we have little children inside of us that just want to interrupt. ;)
I admire your stance on beating depression without medication!!! I feel that meds are a crutch that will fold on you, eventually. The natural way is so much better...and harder.
Melancholia runs in my 'gene pool' (just like Abe Lincoln!) and I can borderline depression very easily. The one time I was very depressed (during divorce) I felt like it was a black hole that was eating me alive...no air to breathe! Just awful. Oh, and you're right, art, sewing, writing, nothing holds any interest in the dark times. Whew! Very tough!
One of the 'great thinkers/writers' wrote that the one thing that all of us (over 7 billion) human beings have in common, is suffering! How true it is!
Here on VN we can talk, talk and yes whine! Lol There is no judgment and if there is judgment, another sister steps in to soften it. How sweet is that?! In fact, you are really good at 'being there' in such a compassionate way. I see it so many times!!
We haven't watched The View...is it a series? So, out of it! Lol
Well, darlin' keep on sharing...we are listening! Many hugs!
A quick note:
I want to add that my daily 'choices' are huge in keeping depression away. I surround myself with color...ambiance, music, is so key! :)
A good book to read is "Learned Optimism: How to change Your Mind and Your Life" by E.P. Seligman
I also have daily "choices" every day, writing in a journal & walking, love to dance around the house (my husband works nights so I can act lik a fool & nobody would know). I also quilt, & crochet keeping my hands busy keeps my mind off that black hole I can enter at time.
Love reading so I will check out you book choice at my library!
It sounds like you are wise...keeping the demons away;D
Evie,
Your praise is always welcome. You always lift me up and I love to read yours too. Thank you.
The View is a talk show with Whoopi and Barbara Walters and several others. They all talk at once it seems and Whoopi interrupts constantly so the continuity of any conversations is always ruined. Sometimes though, someone else gets to talk.
Is Mr. Evie off today?
My son and grandson are coming in a few hrs. I'm sooooooooooooo excited. I'll be writing about it. I'm off until next Tuesday. My son will be going to St. Louis for work until Sunday and so grandson is here with me. Catch up time. I already made their bed and put a Dr. Suess toy and book on it. Then, there are things for discovering through out the week and we'll shop of course. ;^))))))))))))))))))))))))
Hi Sweetie,
I've not been keeping up...get distracted with 'this and that'. Anyway, oh, how very cool to have your grandson for a few days. I love it! Dr. Suess, my favorite memories!!! Shop...by all means! :D These are memories you will always savor!
Mr. Evie went on a business trip, but won't be gone too long. He is in sunny Florida, but not much time for sun...it's all about working!
I have watched "The view"! It's funny...they do all talk at once! Lol
Enjoy that sweet child!!!
Hi Moongodde,
I was what my doctor called borderline depression, but my anixiety was worse. Meds. was not the way i wanted to go either, I wanted to find the root of what was causing my depression as you read in all my posts.
With the help of all my sisters right here I'm slowly feeling better. Being able to just complain & vent to all on VN has really really helped so much.
I have yet to tell my friend from PA what I'm going through because she saw me in other happier times & I know it would be hard for her to understand. I do have a few friends here who I told & are going through the same,but VN has been the BEST & I am soooooooooo very glad I have found all my new sisters!!
I will never give up the site for I love you all! Thanks for your kind & encouraging words!
Total agreement with you. We are in a safe place (let the world learn if they want and welcome). It's validation of our feelings without the hang ups from those who are close to us and see it through the forest-cluttered.
I'm with you!
I just read this posting. I am 66, and I can relate to depression. I went through it in my 30's and late 40's. I also had headaches prior to menstrual periods. I, like you, never reached for any doctors or medicine. I am self-reliant, but one evening I thought I was losing it. I reached out to my husband and asked him to hold me because I was losing it. These episodes lasted a few months and then disappeared. Have not had any further episodes or headaches since menopause. I believe it was totally hormonal related.
So you are proof that this too shall pass. I'm so happy to hear about others who have taken this route. There is also something to be said for those who have no choice. We never know until we've walked in their shoes. The important thing is that it's recognized for what it is and then working with it every day knowing there is light and understanding at the end of it. Purely menopausal for some.
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