Love yourself. - Vibrant Nation

responses (53)

dynamomma said to lou 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Hi lou: I like your attitude! So many women get to be our age and think their life is over because it's changed -- kids are gone and husband is gone. All of a sudden you have no identity, wrong! For some like you, your identity becomes who you really love . . . yourself. This seems so simple to me and has for a long time. I wish I could give this feeling away, every woman on VN would be busting with joy. Thanks for sharing your new found self.

1 member loves this!

lou

lou said to dynamomma 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Hey dynamomma: Was glad to get your response. I would like to be all that I speak of ,but I'm daily working at it. I have my times and days of feeling so lonely ,I don't know what to do. But you know I try to keep in mind that God has me here for a reason and maybe the things I've gone through maybe a help to someone I meet. I'm trying to find things in my life that I truly love, you see I'm a person that loves to explore new things....new resturants, new colors of clothing, new perfumes. Now I don;t say I wil;l continue to do all these things I just want to see some things I have never seen before. Maybe I'm just outright Nosy.....

lou

lou said to lou 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Good Morning dynamomma: Gee, this is so much fun talking with all you ladies.

llacey200…

llacey2001 said to lou 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

One Flaw In Women

Women have strengths that amaze men.....

They bear hardships and they carry burdens,

But they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy

And laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in..

They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer

When they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel

And cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about

A birth or a wedding

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member,

Yet they are strong when they

Think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss

Can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you

To show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what

Makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideas.

They give moral support to their

Family and friends.

Women have vital things to say

And everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

2 members love this!

lou

lou said to llacey2001 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Thanks for those words of encouragement.T.T.Y.S

dynamomma

dynamomma said to llacey2001 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

llacey2001, this is so true. We forget that we are as important as the ones we give to. Thank you for sharing this. I love it.

Ross

Ross said to lou 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

It's encouraging to hear this positive view of life. I wish I had the courage to be alone ...a situation that I'll need to face . The summer my son graduated from high school, my husband of 21 years wants his "freedom" has had an affair thta he still has not stopped ..I'm loosing self-respect daily. I use to love the weekends with him,,,now I dread them since I'm seeing him in a different light. I'm job hunting at 61 lol...gave up a teaching job for him and raised two kids and moved across the country all for his career. I'm not feeling sorry for myself...have two beautiful kids...but I'm trying to find myslef after 21 years of service to my "husband".

TRACK

TRACK said to Ross 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

I don't know what to say right now, but I am soo sorry. The time, the hurt ,and disloyalty how sad. We will be here when you need us.

Sunblosso…

Sunblossom said to Ross 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

You will find you, just give yourself time...yes Lou has some really great, positive thoughts to find a way to shine the light on yourself for a change....

spiritalk

spiritalk said to Sunblossom 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

When someone sets a deadline like that they are disrupting the whole atmosphere for everyone. I have watched (and lived) this in my family. In the end my mother did not have the courage of her convictions.

Courage is not the absence of fear. Course is working through the fear. Find your own joys and move forward in life. Why wait? Do you think there is a better time than right now?

When my first marriage broke up my children were upset but rebounded. They were in their teens. At the same time a friend had a situation thrust upon her and her children were in their 30s. Guess which age took it better?

When you do what is best for yourself you will be authentic.

God bless, J

1 member loves this!

lou

lou said to spiritalk 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

You are something great spiritalk. All I can say is (talk girl)

lou

lou said to spiritalk 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Hey spirit: You weren't speaking to me but I read it anyway , and all I call say is "speak girl), those words were quite weighty. You"d better listen "Sun B). This one is making a statement. T.T.Y.S. lou

lou

lou said to lou 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

I'm one of those crazy Gemini people, who loves to laugh on occasion. lou

lou

lou said to Ross 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Hey Sis: Thanks for the words of encouragement. Remember , we teach people how to treat us, and you're pretty special. God thought you great enough to give his only begotten son and that's real big. I don't think any of us would give one of our children . And guess what , he's not through with you yet. T.T.Y.S.

fayetteSI…

fayetteSIPP said to Ross 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

This is the time when You are going to define who you are and your worth, You have given so much to others, Believe it will come back to you, Know that you will find the right job, trust and realize that your value will not be forgotten and you will be missed, but for him it will be to late , but you have a new world to venture, give what you gave to him to yourself and expand your horizon, You are not too old you are well experienced, my heart goes out to you . I know it has to be hard, we as women should all realize at some point in life we may be rejected by men who are selfish, and spoiled by women who make them feel that they are forever young,

Most Men who leave are men who really lose.

As women we have everything to take care of us ,unfortunately we spend so much time taking care of others, we forget how to love ourselves, Please know that you came into this world alone and you will leave it alone , being alone does not mean being lonely,

YOU will find many women on VH who have experienced what you are experiencing...check out VH when you feel the urge to get info,on finding yourself.

I pray "Much love" and support to come your way.

lou

lou said to fayetteSIPP 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Hey there: I like what you have to say. We're not saying those lonely days won't come , but we just have to get involved in something we love. If we never had Valley experiebnces , how could we appreciate those Mountain top experiences when they come HuH?

dynamomma

dynamomma said to Ross 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Everything has a season. It's time for your season. Your feeling about losing your self respect is about unworthiness. I know by what you have said that you don't feel unworthy. You know you deserve better . . . you just may not ever get "better" from your husband. The loss you are feeling is not the greatest loss. The greatest loss is what dies inside you while you live. While you are in the process of separating, stop doing all the things that contribute to reminding you that your husband is off on some "middle-age crazy" trip. What he's doing isn't about you. Make a list of what is good that you can keep, the things that make you happy and feel good. Then focus on that, imagine yourself doing more of what you desire. Lots of ladies have survived breakups and gone on to happier, healthier lives. You can too. You're not alone, we're all with you and rooting for you.

lou

lou said to dynamomma 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Good Morning: Ross> Dynamomma is really talking. I just want to add to what she's saying , by telling you to take back your power. You gave it away when you began to put yourself second , if not third or fourth. No one knows how to,really please you, but you. Gert with it girl. I can say that because I've been where you are and I found that no one can change me but me. You can never change the situation. L.O.L

lou

lou said to Ross 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Good morning Sis: I saw something that reminded me of you.Hope it helps you a little. Our deepest fear is not that we're inadequate, but we are powerful beyond measure..We ask ourselves, who am I to be cause I'm intelligent, fabulous, talented and gorgeous..We are born to manifest the glory of God in our lives And as we let our light shine , we unconscienously give others permission to do the same ,Actually, who are we not to be: We never let others define who we are or our potential greatness . Everyone has the potential to be great"God" made us that way. T.T.Y.S.

lou

lou said to Ross 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Hey friend: you've just begun to live......My husband moved me to another city where I knew no one, but I began looking for things that I really like to do, he passed about 5 yrs. ago and I don't regret a thing .....if I did what good would it do? I'm going to be happy anf build positive memoriesfor myself right here. Sure I miss my family, but guess what I'm still living and still standing up. Forget the 21 years, there over. Can imagine there are museums you've never been to , parks you've never visited have you ever tried fishing? I haven't and I don't know what I l;ike til I try out. Go to it Girl! you've got a lot of living to do. I.G.Y.B. (I got your back)

spiritalk

spiritalk said to lou 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

God seems to have a purpose to all that happens. In 2005 we moved from one side of our large city to the other. We started over again with our organization and it was a startling move as I had never lived on the west side of town. (My aunt even sent a note that added why would you ever move that far west?LOL)

Well in 2008 my hubby died and I have felt out of sorts ever since. I think a part of it is being out of my own element so to speak. But you know what I did, I pursued some hobby interests right here in my own neighborhood. It wouldn't have been any easier to find what I was looking for elsewhere. So there you go - a reinvention of my life.

And believe me, if I can do it, so can you!

God bless, J

lou

lou said to spiritalk 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Hello Spiritalk: I really like your message. That's what I've been trying to say for so long,,,,Love who you are and where you are. Sometimes we'd be really surprised to find out where your happinest is right under your nose.,not saying you don't miss your old comfort zone , but you get a chance now to find out how it is as a single person and a single person's point of view. Remember,Art Linkletter had this show called PEOPLE ARE FUNNY, well they are and at times very interesting and helpful when you least expect them to be Let's encourage one another. What are you doing for Valentine's day? I tell ya , I am so glad God blessed me to be on top of the ground rather than underneath.

lou

lou said to spiritalk 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Good Morning Spiritalk: As I was talking to someone else earlier....We as women must learn to take and own the power God gave us. He made us the way we are for a reason, so don't blow it . Stay strong and remember God loves ya . T.T.Y.S

Ross

Ross said to lou 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Thanks for your encouragement. I have started my adventure into metal clay jewelry making..found a great art teacher to give me pointers. Today, I'm setting up a schedule to work daily on designs...I've started a book club of women friends that's based on women's issues which is fun and supportive. I'm writing poetry.. I'm looking for work anywhere...feeling that If I can find meaningful work I will know if I really want to stay in this marriage because right now I'm not sure of my feelings or if I can live with uncertainty. There's got to be something better ..on my own than living with doubts and regrets .

Ross

Ross said to lou 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

I have made some real positive changes since my last post. I've started my metal clay adventure..purchasing kin and supplies and finding a teacher for pointers. Now I've set up a schedule to work on my designs daily. It's not a ob but it's rewarding. I organized a book club of friends which is based on women's issues and topics. This is very supportive. I'm going to counseling as well. While still job hunting...I feel that if I had an opportunity to work in my field...I would move to where the job is and would really know in my heart the end result of this marriage...

lou

lou said to Ross 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Good Morning Ross: I can empathize with you because we all can understand what it feels like to be in a painful situation , not really knowing where to go or what to do next. I understand you do love yourself, but you must get seriosly acquainted with you. First of all, if the situation is not making you happy and you feel very little respect, Give that respect to your self, know your boundaries and settle for nothing less. Sometimes we have to settle for nothing , in order to have that peace of mind that belongs to you and to you only. We forget we're the only one that is hurting in this situation, the other persons are happy as all get. If you want to start these adventures, you should ,,,,,,not until you have a clear head, so you can concentrate completelyon what you want to do . Most of all thank God for blessing you to see another day , and you are on top of the ground rather than underneath. L.O.L. Lou

Amara

Amara said to Ross 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

good morning Ross, I found myself in similar situation many years ago. At that very sad time in my life I ended the relationship with my spouse as I learned he was seeing my best friend!!! I was hurt and it brought me to an all time low in my life feeling that perhaps I brought this on. I soon changed that feeling and began to grow as a women and found strangely enough t My Inner Power and the sky was the limit!! How I did this was by doing the things that I always wanted to do that I kept hidden my heart. You had mentioned that you did things for your spouse, how about now taking care of you and what matters to you. You are a strong women and can go far in this life, take your spirit back and let yourself soar......that is where your true self happiness is.

lou

lou said to Ross 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Hey Ross: Just reading one of your responses. Glad your son graduated from high school and you two were together, but now think to yourself , it's me time. You have an affair with your self. If he doesn't want to spend the weekends with ya , shoot take yourself out to lunch or and dinner. Then find a safe place and go for a nice long want( which we need to do anyway)..Stop by the store and get yourself a bouquet of flowers(take time to smell the roses). By the time you get home you will be so tired Whew.........whew. T.T.Y.L.

fayetteSI…

fayetteSIPP said to lou 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

You are so refreshihng to hear from, I have learned to love being alone, I can listen to what makes my life worth living, and the spirit of that life is great, as we grown in nurturing our souls.

I am married and my husbands says for life....but I have learned from many women, who thought it was for life , so I have learned over the years to become a little more independent in enjoying me for me....who knows when or how we all will someday: BE GONE OR ALONE.

lou

lou said to fayetteSIPP 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

I like talking with you.

fayetteSI…

fayetteSIPP said to lou 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Thanks Lou! You are easy to talk to and a kind spirit.

lou

lou said to fayetteSIPP 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Good Afternoon fayetteSI:We're enjoying another blessed day.

Lynnette

Lynnette said to lou 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

hang in there... one day at a time. Life is tough, handle it with prayer.

lou

lou said to Lynnette 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Good Afternoon Lynnette: Thanks for the words of encouragment. Life is quite an experience, and we would be crazy o try more than one day at a time. As you said we can handle our life situations with prayer, because once we find out that we are in control of nothing, and it's all out of our hands....life begins to make a little more sense. Now that think about it , aren't ya glad God is not like man.???? We can be so judgmental of each other ,,,it's ridiculous.

spiritalk

spiritalk said to lou 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Do you want to make god laugh? Tell God your plans!

As creative beings we try so hard to control our own environment. Until, a wrench is thrown into the works and it all comes to a halt. Reinvention is a good place to be.

God bless, J

lou

lou said to spiritalk 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Hello Spiritalk: You are so funny.,,,but so true. If fact when I think about the plans I have it makes me wanna laugh. I end up saying to myself "Lou" , what is on your mind , did you actually think that made sense.Oh Well.... So many times I end up saying" Lord here I am again". I am goona go get some fresh fish , for today.

NormaJean…

NormaJeanne said to lou 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

You like so many things that I like--plays, flowers, lavender scented sheets. How lovely to know what brings you pleasure and to allow yourself to enjoy them. I headed out by myself to a movie a while ago, and my 92 year old mother was horrified--why would I ever go to a movie by myself? As if people sitting in a dark room were paying any attention to me! Continue to enjoy this stage of your life to your heart's content :-)

lou

lou said to NormaJeanne 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

W0W Norma J. I like what you're saying. I went to a strange city I had heard much about, so i thought I'd try taking myself out to lunch one day , and I went window shopping and I wanted to but I didn't get a chance to go for a ride on a horse and carriage. Things like that just make me happy. A few of my friends (like your Mom) were horrified because I went by myself., but ya know I don't feel being with anyone. They never want to do the things I like . So rather than argue about it , i would rather go by myself. The way I feel is I'm okay and You're okay., just not together. I'm just trying to get to know me.

spiritalk

spiritalk said to lou 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

There was a book in the 60s called I'm Ok You're Ok. It was all about empowerment for women. Maybe we are all just getting to know what that means? Or maybe we have to get old enough not to care?

God bless, J

lou

lou said to spiritalk 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Good Morning Spirit: You got that right. I am now 65 years of age and I truly feel comfortable right now. I'm ok and You're okay. I can finally live life and put myself first, and stop playing the comparsion game and trying to keep with those people and situations around me. I can finally say, God is no.1 in my life and at the end of the day I can say with confidence" I have been blessed to live another beautiful day".

1 member loves this!

southerns…

southernstarr said to spiritalk 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

i read that book in 1977 when i was entering the mens world of construction the 1st female operating engineer in a all male union and it helped me thru the next 32 yrs of that world, great book !

lou

lou said to southernstarr 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Hey Southernstarr; I was thinking my sister worked for At&t your years as a cable-splicer and she worked climbing up telephone poles and installing cables and that called for her climbing down in man-holes. She did that til she retired after working there for about 35years. So i can understand the construction work. T.T.Y.L.

lou

lou said to lou 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Good Morning Friend: Just wanted to say hi and to say "God loves ya and so do we at VN". Have a blessed day. I typed tgis message a few seconds ago and I must have clicked the wrong button. Oh Well, as I say so often Lord here I am again. Whew!

lou

lou said to lou 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Hey! Norma J.: Did I say HAPPY VALENTINE's DAY? Well if I didn't , I sure meant to.

NormaJean…

NormaJeanne said to lou 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Thanks so very much--there's a big, luscious red rose on my diningroom table to brighten a winter day! I do hope there's one on the table at your house, too!

NormaJean…

NormaJeanne said to lou 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

We all really need to learn to love ourselves and to enjoy our own company. In the final end, chances are we have to face the next reality on our own. So many things we grow up thinking we need to have someone at our side to fully enjoy the experience, but walking through a garden is definitely a solo journey for me. I love my husband dearly, but I love my solo time, too.

Especially as women, statistics would tell us that in all probability, a large chunk of our life will be spent in a single state--so best to learn how to enjoy life as we go along and at least be prepared for what may come our way. Buy those flowers on your way home from the play, and slip into those fragrant sheets, whether you are partnered, or whether you are solo! And perhaps take that horse and carriage on the way to the theatre!

spiritalk

spiritalk said to NormaJeanne 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Even when we know it, sometimes its hard to get used to that solo state. We partner up because we like to take care of others.

When we are in a partnership, we sometimes wonder if we will ever do something just for ourselves. When we have the opportunity, we wonder what he would have liked in that situation.

God bless, J

lou

lou said to NormaJeanne 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Hey Norma J: I thank you for that confirmation, I didn't mention that these things I have enjoyed solo. What I meant was that being with someone I never got a chance to to find out that these things really existed and I would like them. The city I went to has a big beautiful park and they rent rides on their hoses and carriages. I haven't got to it yet, but it is one of those thing in my near future. I stayed a wife and mother for so many years , that lost my self in the mix. I really l;ike you way of thinking Norma J."lou"

lou

lou said to lou 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

HAPPY VALENINE's DAY. Be Blessed

southerns…

southernstarr said to lou 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

thats a beautiful post your blessed to have time now to be you and enjoy all the little things that we tend not to do for ourselves while we are tending to others wishes in life so lou you go right ahead and enjoy yourself for a while and answer to no one !

lou

lou said to southernstarr 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Hey southernstarr: You're allright . Thank you for such encouraging words. God has blessed me to be touch such wonderful people. Bless you and have a very prosperous day in the Lord. Love ya much

spiritalk

spiritalk said to southernstarr 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Following some of our same old routines helps us find a balance in life. The mind and spirit want to soar to new things, but the body doesn't always follow along.

I will spend Valentine's Day doing my church service (as always). Someone put a flower on the table for my birthday. It is a plant and I have been wondering whose garden I can offer it to for it to continue to grow.

New people are coming into my life through the church and it is prospering. So even among the same old is new adventures.

Happy Valentine's Day all!

God bless, J

spiritalk

spiritalk said to spiritalk 02/05/2010, 04:54PM new!

Following 3 marriages and ending up a widow, a friend of mine said: I've done my time!

I used to laugh at her sense of the ridiculous, but sometimes we just need to regroup our own energies and laugh at ourselves and with others.

God bless, J

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