Vibrant Nation

fashion & beauty

Roblyn's avatar
from
Roblyn
Obsessed with looks...
posted 02/05/2010, 12:38AM new!

I'm now 51 and in the last year since turning 50, I've become obsessed with my looks.  I've never been some great beauty; too short and bad skin, and I've never really been that into "looking fabulous."  But now that I'm starting to see some lines and the stomach has gotten a little flabby, I don't seem to be able to get my mind off what I need to do to look younger.  Have any of you who have passed this age experienced anything similar to this? PS, I have a great husband, job & kids, and self esteem has never been a problem for me at all - until now!

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responses (13)

SeaWriter's avatar SeaWriter
SeaWriter said to Roblyn 02/05/2010, 12:38AM new!

Oh, Roblyn, my friend -- welcome to Brave New World.

I flew through life, blessed with normal metabolism, my mother's good taste and sufficient funds to keep myself presentable. Somehow around my mid-50s I started to notice that things were changing faster than I could adjust to them. Little wiry hairs on my face. Wiry grey hairs on my head. Changes in my skin's texture. Freckles on my hands and arms.

So before you run out into the night screaming, remember this: all of us on this web site are going through this right now, and there are some good laughs to be had along the way. The alternative to aging is dying, and that's no fun at all.

 

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Roblyn's avatar Roblyn
Roblyn said to SeaWriter 02/05/2010, 12:38AM new!

Thanks, SeaWriter, you've just given me a reality check!  Just what I needed!!

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Mudder's avatar Mudder
Mudder said to SeaWriter 02/05/2010, 12:38AM new!

You are awesome SeaWriter!!

Sunblossom's avatar Sunblosso…
Sunblossom said to SeaWriter 02/05/2010, 12:38AM new!

I agree....I changed my attitude when I watched Farah Fawcett's movie about her cancer...in one scene she said "I just wanted to grow old" or something similar, and I thought wow, I get to do that, and realized what a privilege and luxury that is....now the freckles and all that other stuff doesn't matter (although I would like to grow old with nice firm upper arms...)

Lynnette's avatar Lynnette
Lynnette said to Roblyn 02/05/2010, 12:38AM new!

Hey your life is just beginning!  As you age you will look in the mirror and ask, who is that?  So welcome to the club!

birdlover's avatar birdlover
birdlover said to Roblyn 02/05/2010, 12:38AM new!

Funny, but I feel the opposite. I used to be concerned with looks, now I am just comfortable in my own skin. Feels good not to worry about what others think/do. My 50's are free to be me years, and I am loving EVERY minute of it...TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE. 

Remember, you should only be concerned with how you feel. Don't worry about other's opinion of you...

Just be you....

Roblyn's avatar Roblyn
Roblyn said to birdlover 02/05/2010, 12:38AM new!

I'ts not anyone else's opinion that is bothering me.  It's mine.  My husband thinks I look great, I'm often told that I don't look my age.  But when I look in a mirror, I can't believe what I see.  When I think of myself, I think of the way I was at 30.  Trim, firm, healthy.  I know in my heart that what everyone is saying on this site it true, but my head does a number on me the next time I'm standing in front of that mirror.  I just wondered if anyone had any special elixer (or advice!) on how to get past this obsession with trying to make myself look better.  I want to get back to that woman who didn't stare at herself in the mirrow noticing every line & bag!!

petunia's avatar petunia
petunia said to Roblyn 02/05/2010, 12:38AM new!

Dear Roblyn,  You are expressing what I have been going through for about a week. My face seems to be caving in.  I see frown lines in my forehead when I am not frowning!  My neck has changed into an old lady neck.  I want to have the wonderful attitudes that Seawriter and Tamara and birdlover and Lynnette have.. but I'm not there yet.  And shh..., but I'm secretly contemplating taking replacement hormones now... Isn't this awful?

Roblyn's avatar Roblyn
Roblyn said to petunia 02/05/2010, 12:38AM new!

Petunia, I don't think it is awful, if you've done your homework and know what you're getting into.  I'm considering saving up for some "work" on the turey neck, but I know deep down that I'd never have the courage to actually do it.  I'll be honest with you, it has actually helped me to finally voice how I've been feeling.  I haven't mentioned this to any of my friends or sisters and now I'm wishing I had because I guess there really is something to the saying, "misery loves company."  Hey, when SeaWriter talked about the 40 Carrots products a couple of weeks ago, I ran out that same day and bought 2 of every one of them.  (This does seem to be a good product by the way!)  I guess we are just starting to deal with something (aging skin, night sweats, sagging boobs) that some of the gals on here have already worked through. Ten years from now maybe we'll be the ones giving the encouragment!

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linder's avatar linder
linder said to Roblyn 02/05/2010, 12:38AM new!

I turn 55 on the 11th and I'm not looking forward to it- for all the reasons you mentioned. Yet I also feel lucky to be past the craziness of child rearing and the "competition" that can bring. I know the changes with my skin & complexion are normal,but I don't think that means I have to love the puffy eyes and dulling complexion. I'm trying to focus on the fact that I have an active agile mind and body, great loving hubby, healthy focused children in healthy relationships,etc. I also think about plastic surgery but would never do that as I feel it's too risky on many levels. So i'll continue to color the grey, wear appropriate make-up and dress my best. I'll also continue to tell people that I'm "39-with lot's of experience" when they ask my age!!! 

Roblyn's avatar Roblyn
Roblyn said to linder 02/05/2010, 12:38AM new!

Oh, I like that...."39 with lot's of experience."  That's what we are in our hearts, right? 

Katielli's avatar Katielli
Katielli said to Roblyn 02/05/2010, 12:38AM new!

I've found that instead of looking to younger women as my inspiration for what I wish I was, it helps me to look at vibrant older women. Face it, we're the best that we will ever be and in 10 years we will wish we were in our 50's again. So let's enjoy the ride, wear great colors and be generous with our smiles and good will toward others. I believe that this sets the stage for so many genuine blessings to be in our lives that have nothing to do with how youthful we look. It's a chance to observe and participate in life without that crutch of looking young. P.S. You have a great smile, by the way!

Tamara's avatar Tamara
Tamara said to Roblyn 02/05/2010, 12:38AM new!

I think my face is getting more interesting as I get older. At first, it freaked me out...but now, I've managed to make peace with it. I don't think I have the patience to deal with plastic surgery, or the cash!

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