Vibrant Nation

Oh, come on now....at least have the stones reset. Or make a trade for a different one. Jewelry has been re-used for generations, that's why they can be called heirlooms. But I guy nbeeds to get real. If you give her a ring at least let it not have the dead wifes ghost attached to it.

I think it's fine if the man asks the new woman how she feels about it first. She might say, "It's beautiful -- I'd be honored to wear it," or want it reset, or be repulsed by the whole idea. I don't think there's one answer that fits everyone.

Sounds creepy to me.

I would rather it be passed on to an offspring or granddaughter, in her memory.  But, I guess if it was offered to me and I knew how much he loved her, It would be ok.  I don't get jealous of dead people. ...or like someone else said...reset it or turn it in for another... just decide together if their of no children to help decide, they feeling would come first for anything concerning their mother.

No.  If he truly doesn't have the funds, sell the ring and use the money to buy another one. This action says more than you think it does about how he feels about the relationship.

I would not want a ring that belonged to a former wife.  A new marrige needs to let go of the past.  A ring is part of a promise for the future, it's the seal that sets the bond.  Have the stones re-set as another member suggested or sell the ring to buy another.  If you're so cheap you want to give a ring that belonged to another you'll need to do more than beg me for my hand, you'll be on your knees begging for my forgiveness.  Incidently the tradition is that an engagement ring should cost three months salary.  But I'd settle for a silver band before I'd wear a ring that belonged to a dead person.  It would be like wearing a reguiem.  Every time he sees that ring it's going to remind him of his other wife.  Isn't that depressing?  A new relationship needs a new start.  It would make me wonder if the guy has really moved on.  My most precious thing is my wedding band.  It's plain gold, all we could afford but it's mine.  I've got lots of jewelery but I wouldn't trade my band for all the tea in China.  I never take it off and I wear it with pride.  Can you give those values to a ring that belonged to an ex.  I doubt it.

A new wife deserves a new ring.....preferable bought with old family money.

I think not.  Even if the new girfriend is ok with it, it will always bring back memories of his dead wife. 

NO

Get a new ring..he needs to give that ring to a daughter if there is one or sell it.  Each relationship deserves a new start. To me that would be like wearing her old chothes just because they fit...seems to me if he is such a caring man, why would he give you leftovers!!

Wow!  What an interesting topic!  While it is apparent that the majority believe the ring should be eithr re-set, sold  or given to a daughter, there are still a few who think it's a personal decision between the parties involved.

I see both sides.  Therefore I feel that ultimately it's up to the two of you (and the adult children if that's going to end up being a point of contention).

Personally, I wouldn't care one way or the other even if I were the deceased first wife (again, assuming it was not a problem with the children or grandchildren).  I have never been one to bond to anything material.  Sure, some things bring me joy but all my love, memories, and special attachments have nothing to do with anything man made.  I guess I'm weird.

What really concerns me is the fact that this man can't afford a new ring.  What else can't he afford?

I just hope that if/when the two of you marry, the two of you will be able to live comfortably without you being the one to provide all the financial support.

I love the fact that you feel this man is very caring and would no want to devalue his wife's memory.  Only YOU know him, his family, the situation all the way around, and your heart. 

Good luck to you both.

YES if there are no strings and she can hock it .lol

No....I think one of his children should get it.  You deserve your "own" ring as a symbol of his affection for you (if that's what you want).

Sounds like Gollum? Is this Lord of the Ring?

  My mom was ill for at least 5 years before her death. Dad did the best to take care of her by himself until I stepped in and took over. They were married for almost 52 years. She passed away and dad had a friend of theirs come visit him just 3 months after her death. They got married 6 months after Moms death. Now she is wearing moms ring on her right hand. My sister and I did get some of mom’s rings along with our 2 brothers. I saw it a few days ago and had to ask her. I said that ring looks really familiar is that moms ring? She said yes. I could not even say anything else I wanted to puck. What should I say to my father about this ring or just leave it alone?