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spirituality

The Art of Letting Go
posted 01/29/2010, 05:03PM new!

In our 50's we find ourselves letting go of so many parts that made up our sense of self...parents, children, jobs, relationships,friends. How do we surrender those things that meant so much and defined us as us...and embrace what is to come?

responses (14)

Let our definition come from within, not from without....it changes your perspective on the future and on the past.....it makes letting go easier.....plus, I watched a video recommended on one of these posts, and it mentioned that men in particular see change as failure not growth...I thing we need to look at change as growth..and truly what choice do we have but to embrace the future...

I think we as women do associate our identity as what we were to someone or something else.  The job we had to do was to take care of our spouse, our kids, our house, our job, our parents.  It's natural to think in terms of letting it go.  But I don't think of it as letting go . . . I think of it as a change in job description.  I'm still a mom, just different in my responsibilities.  I'm still a housekeeper and wife, it's just a lot less work now.  I still have a job, I just don't have a boss anymore.  My sense of what use to define me as my many roles to others, has changed to my sense of self -- about me.  I haven't surrendered all those titles, they just don't require the same daily "doing".  Now I have a chance to learn how to just "be".   Something happens when we embrace the freedom and explore the possibilities of the future.

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to "be" has become a daily incentive. I love the notion that we, as we are in any moment, is perfect.

thank you for your insight

Did letting go just happen in our 50s?  Life is a river.  There is constant change.  And with that change came the knowledge that some things no longer served us in our journey.  Perhaps we just held on too long? 

People, places, things will move in and out of our lives all the time.  Perhaps we need to learn to live in the change rather than the holding on?

Reason, Season, Lifetime  Author Unknown

 

People  come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.  
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do  for that person.

 
When someone is in your life for a REASON,  it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have  come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with  guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally  or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are.  
They are there for the reason you need them to be.  

 
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an  inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to  bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die.  Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force  you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need  has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.  
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is  time to move on.

 

Some  people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has  come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience  of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something  you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable  amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a  season.

 

LIFETIME  relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must  build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.  
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person and  put what you have learned to use in all other relationships  and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but  friendship is clairvoyant.

 God bless, J

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Thank you J...

I love this community of women. The dialogue is always insightful and "real". I work with women and know that letting go is an art... art that leads to beauty and discovery, self-exploration and wonder.

So much of what we discover as we "let go" time and time again, is to be content in the moment...to find value in the moment.

birdlover said to spiritalk 01/29/2010, 05:03PM new!

Thank you for your post!

lotus sutra said to spiritalk 01/29/2010, 05:03PM new!

Beautifully written!!! I am 53 yrs. and about 2 years ago I began to feel unhappy in my marriage. My kids all grown and I looked around to see that I havent done anything for myself. I have sacrificed for my family and now do everything for my husband.  I have learn to put all my needs and interests aside to please others.  I am deciding now to let go.... I love my husband but he n longer fulfills my void. He likes the way things are now....I want more. I always wonder if this is typical for those of us after fifty.  I believe our relationship has been completed. I am moving on at the end of this month. I feel very anxious...of the unknown.  I have to take the risk and feel alive again.  I will always remain his friend...it is the most difficult thing I will ever do.

lovemylife said to lotus sutra 01/29/2010, 05:03PM new!

Please let us know Dear how things go with you.  I feel the same way in my marriage.

spiritalk said to lotus sutra 01/29/2010, 05:03PM new!

Courage is not the lack of fear - it is working through the fears.  God holds our hand when we take charge of our own happiness.  He is also there when we wallow in pity of our lives. 

Step out in courage to what is the rest of your life.  Staying stuck does not serve you, but a new adventure will surely bring you happiness.

God bless, J

lotus sutra said to spiritalk 01/29/2010, 05:03PM new!

Thank You....this has beena long time coming. This whole past year I have been preparing for this time. Oh...at moments I feel like staying safe where i have been..and other times like a lion roaring to be free. I just know I must believe in my own human revolution. I came into this world by myself and will leave alone. I will wonder ..what have I accomplished in my life ....I want to smile at all the things I have seen and experienced...all the people I have met and what I have given back to mankind. I know it will be hard..but I will survive!

spiritalk said to lotus sutra 01/29/2010, 05:03PM new!

Be prepared!  You will not only survive you will blossom in a new environment.

God bless, J

Anteres said to spiritalk 01/29/2010, 05:03PM new!

Amen Spirittalk. Being solitary is not all that bad been, that way since my divorce 30 something yrs ago... Alone is a good thing, break it up and you have AL(L) One sometimes in being the Mom's and wifes we forget that part of us that is neither one of those we get time to have and make a good relationship with ourselves ,,,, sometimes we lose ourselves in day to day living and raising the kidlets and in some cases raising a husband*LOL*  

Blessings to you Lotus and Blessed Be

I helped a dear friend navigate a messy divorce years ago. One of the best lessons that came out of it was that all she had to do was to take one step at a time. Create the light at the end of the tunnel...the place you long to be, the person you are driven to become, the life you imagine...then take one step at a time in the direction of that light. So many women feel stuck because they can't imagine getting all of the balls in the air to juggle successfully all at once. One Step...John Wayne said..."Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway". You are obviously a courageous women. Ask for help and constantly extend grace to yourself. Bless you and yours

Anteres said to spiritalk 01/29/2010, 05:03PM new!

Blessed Be Dear One Blessed Be 

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