Vibrant Nation

yep, had the same problem, then got divorced and poor. Now my shopping is at Goodwill/Salvation Army/yard sales and I get my fill for a lot less bucks!  If I dont shop I eat,  (and I EAT ALOT LOL!!!) but after having to declare bankruptcy and have our home repossessed, it was sobering to learn how to live frugally!

I am not a psychiatrist but I would imagine the urge to shop is an act of compensation for some other problems you are dealing with.    A suggestion that I heard of for this type of behavior is to only buy for other people.    If you had a close friend or family member, and you could only shop for them, maybe that would help.

I too am trying not to shop soooo much!  Trying to stick with only what I need.  Not much fun.

What I was going to say, Pennylane has said already; whether the problem is food, shopping, gambling, or any other addiction, it's a compensation for other problems we are having.  If you can't pinpoint any reason for it, and handling it alone isn't working, you may need some professional counseling.  Going into debt is no picnic, neither is skimping on necessities because you've already spent too much on what you didn't need.  You can substitute other, better habits that are not self-destructive to replace this one.  Really think about getting this monkey off your back, as you just did by reaching out.  I wish you fortitude as you go about making some life-affirming changes.  You won't regret it.

Hey, duckyone59 -- The first step in recovery from any addiction (as I learned years ago in Alanon) is recognizing and admitting one has a problem. You have done that and gone on to reach out to others for help. They don't call it "retail therapy" for nothing.

It's always been my drug of choice, but, as other women have noted, poverty has a way of putting a crimp in our fixes. Even as a newly poor (job, home loss) person, I was having trouble with curbing my behavior, until by best friend nailed me on my self-destructive behavior.

The key for me, though -- she didn't refer to the self-destructiveness, because ultimately that is the point of addiction, isn't it? We do what we do at least partially because it is self-destructive. My retail addiction was about running away. I have been forced to stop running. Scary but worthy action is beginning to ensue.

Chin up, toots. You are already on the right track. Lasso all the support you can into your own personal posse and go after those demons. They can be vanquished. And you will be the triumphant heroine of your own conflict.

PS -- If you have money, put as much of it as you can into CDs (the financial type) that you can't cash in easily. Cut up all but one (for emergencies only) of your credit cards. Put the emergency card in a fairly inaccessible place -- have a friend/family member hold it for you or stash it in a bank safe-deposit box.

Keep your available cash to a minimum in some way so that you really are faced with this decision: do I buy that [insert item name here] or eat today? Eventually, the habit of not spending will form, as you teach yourself how to be discriminating in your spending choices. Have someone you truly trust, someone who truly loves you, monitor you, as a "sponsor" would.

Anyway, that's my 2.8 cents worth. Changing my behavior is pretty easy, I found -- I don't have quite enough to live on, so I must constantly scramble to cover the basics. No room anymore for "goodies."

Absolutely!  I guess with these hard economic times it's made it easier for me to simplify my life.  I am 51 and have finally realized that material things are only temporary pleasures.  My husband and I both grew up in lower income families and have tried to compensate for it over the past 31 years of our marriage.  With age and experience comes much wisdom - I am now working my butt off trying to save for retirement and keep the roof over my head (which I really can't see myself not working - I love my job) and DECLUTTERING!  I truly believe "Less is More" in every aspect of life.  This philisophy puts everything into perspective.   I feel the most precious things in life are the things we can't touch or put on a shelf - love, nature, people, and most importantly - God!

My sister in law had a problem with shopping and she said what cured her was She would buy the article leave the sales tag on it with the sales slip and look at it for a week Then 75 out 100 x's she took it back Worked for her