When I was a kid, grown-ups whispered a lot. I overheard whispers about an unfortunate cousin who had "c." Then there were lots of conversations about somebody in the neighborhood who was getting a "d-i-v-o-r-c-e" and another who was "f-i-r-e-d."

Back then, "bad" things fell somewhere on the spectrum from being proof of personal failure to divine punishment--none of which the individual was thought to be able to do anything about.

And so they whispered. Of course, I should point out that this was major progress over their own parents' method of communication. In my family, for instance, whenever something "bad" was referenced, Grandma spit over her shoulder in an effort to ward off the evil eye.

When it came to my parents' generation, the deepest whispers were reserved for what was deemed the worst fate of all: to be someone who was "getting help." That was the euphemism for seeking psychological counsel. In the 1950's, seeking a psychiatrist0--outside of Beatnik circles--was cause for deep shame. For the "pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps" generation, seeking assistance for mental or emotional issues was admission of failure and cause for loss of respect.

To this day, I believe that the shame associated with "seeking help" was a key reason our country went off the rails. Who in their right mind wouldn't agree that if a president like Richard Nixon had only had a great therapist, things would have certainly gone better for him--and for us.

The fact is, the popular political culture in Washington DC still frowns upon people in office who admit to seeking counseling. This is one lingering onus that will hopefully be set aside as part of the Obama sweep. And given Oprah's role in getting Obama elected--and her own advocacy of "inner work"--this is a likely outcome.

Oprah has definitely put the popular face on lifting seeking guidance from the realm of shame to wellness, but many of us have put our time in sitting face to face with therapists, counselors, social workers and the like. Back when health insurance policies liberally underwrote our efforts at self-improvement, we got the equivalent of advanced degrees looking at intergenerational dynamics, dysfunctions, family systems and more. We didn't feel sick, bad or wrong: we felt privileged. What, after all, to Boomer women was more fascinating than learning what made ourselves tick? Add in the bonus of enhanced mastery over life and personal empowerment, and who could resist?

Now, with reimbursement for regular, ongoing visits to therapists on the wane, we are in the era of life coaches. Life coaches don't dwell on the past and retool our inner workings, they help us make the best decisions possible in the present moment. That's okay with me. After all these years, many of us have already mastered the psychological basics, forgiven our mothers, and now consider having a smart, focused conversation partner--aka life coach--a non-negotiable.

Life coaches, these wiser versions of ourselves, are standing by always, ready to provide perspective, feedback and an extra dollop of accountability. They encourage us to pay attention to our deepest desires, cheer us on as we set sail towards distant shores, help us negotiate the boundaries of real life that arise and mourn the setbacks when they come. When we lie panting on the floor, they pick us up, dust us off and send us out the door feeling renewed and full of faith.

Fewer of us have the means to see our life coaches every week, but once the relationship has been established, it is money and time well-spent to have our "wiser self" on call when and where we need it most.

One of the greatest revolutions led by women 50+--taking its place of pride side-by-side with women's liberation--is that our generation of women stopped whispering about things and started using our grown-up voices. To this, and the life coaches who have served me over the years, I shout a hale and hearty (with no intentional spit): Huzzah! more inside the nation»