I am a wannabe empty nester! Having home schooled my four children from cradle to college I am good and ready to relinquish being a role model and mentor 24/7. I want to do what I want to do, eat when I feel like it, enjoy life with my blue eyed cowboy and clean my house, for me, once a week or two, whether it needs it or not! However, our children are finding it difficult to sever the proverbial apron strings, they have moved away from home but are still in walking distance of the family seat, which in Texas is really, really close! I am English and inbred with a bulldog determination that when diluted with the southern blood of my gentleman mellows a tad. In its concentrated form it is highly irascible, verbal and single minded. Last year when I saw my dreams of empty nestdom fading into the distant future I booked a couple of one way tickets across the pond and hand in hand with my Texan I left home. Without a clean break we ran the risk of never weaning the offspring and my soft-hearted cowboy was beginning to enjoy his new role of wise patriarch and willing slave to four children who had lots more interesting activities to pursue than real life responsibilities. We packed our bags, put everything breakable away in the attic, emptied cupboards and drawers leaving the five bedroomed house renter ready. Our zoo keeper son, who had not moved out yet, agreed to oversee the letting arrangements. In actual fact what happened was our other children slowly moved back in while we, the parentals, were a safe 4000 miles away. Yes, my well-laid plan backfired and my southern gentleman and I are returning to a houseful of children in a few months. Our gap year has been remarkable though and everyone has learned something. Join me as I write about the emergence of my true identity while living on a small Island.

How did you get to where you are now?

My journey through life to where I am today started with parents who loved each other to the exclusion of everyone else. Which for them was fantastic, but for me was not so fabuloso! But hey, that was their choice. Kept at home until I was eleven I was then packed off to boarding school as soon as my parents were posted abroad and began diplomatically touring the Middle East with other fashionable young Foreign Office couples who had sent their children "home" for a better education. I always quip that I left my parents at eleven and returned only for the holidays. I fulfilled their wishes and completed college, graduating with a none too shabby degree and a desire to see the world. I got as far as America, fell in love, married and raised our four children. With no parental mentors to turn to I took what I had learned as a child and applied it to my children. I kept them at home with me, some of them are still there, homeschooled them and gave them eighteen years of my undivided attention. They became impassioned by all the things that made up my being; service to others through church, community theatre and volunteeering; cooking and entertaining at home; reading and writing forming support and discussion groups and exercise by swimming in our pool, rock climbing, gymnastics and dancing. By the time I'd taught my children all I could I was ready to go it alone! The confidence I gained from having four dependents and their pets stood me in good stead for the next phase of my life which I am eagerly entering!

How do you see yourself differently now than you did 10 years ago?

Ten years ago I had four children sixteen and under living beneath one roof and anyone who has weathered the storm of teenage righteousness is bound to grow up...fast! I am more patient. I saw the day my feisty adolescent left home and tried to inflict his will on some-one who didn't love him unconditionally. He returned to me and admitted I was right! I am more tolerant. I learned we are all unique therefore we have different outlooks, even the raccoon, and my children's lives are theirs now that they earn their own money. I am more loving. I don't have enough life left to waste on petty arguments and quarreling so drawing on my newly acquired patience and tolerance skills I can wait until my children end up seeing the light without my risking a coronary. I am wiser and more focused. I am comfortable with who I was, I rejoice over who I am, and am confident about who I am going to be. I am basically the same person only with more nuance at each stage! I have a husband who has always loved me and for that I am truly thankful. I am learning how to be a friend again, with people who aren't my children's parents!!

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

I will own an unplugged retreat centre where singles and couples, roadies and musicians, professionals and artists, monastics and secularists can come and express themselves in a way that is fulfilling for them. It will be a sacred space set in acres of farmland not too far from a large town. I will draw on friends to lead retreats, meditations and Yoga classes; dance, music and acting workshops; pottery, painting and weaving lessons; husbandry and gardening experiences and climbing, camping, swimming and horse riding adventures, not to mention plenty of reading and writing practice! There will be wooded walks, natural water, gardens, a labyrinth and a chapel. The philosophy will one of reaching out and finding God's path for our lives through quiet contemplation, discovery, love and sharing.

You are the most amazing person I know. Always there when needed, you never seem to run out of time. You treat everyone as if they were the most important person in the world to you. Your optimism is contagious and people flourish when you are amongst them. Be blessed in all you do. How I wish I were there with you.

OK! My role models are ordinary people who made a difference in my life. In turn their examples led me to make a difference in at least five people's lives and I pray they will keep paying it forward consciously or not. My paternal grandmother who taught me the power of corporate prayer and faithful attendance at church. My father who had a part, all be it momentary, in giving me the gift of life and taught me that with dogged determination I can do whatever I want to do. An English teacher who showed me how to use words simply and with power. My mother who also gave me the gift of life, shared her love of books and modeled the art of fidelity. My maternal grandmother who handed down her independent genes. My drama teachers at college who unearthed a creative streak i didn't know I had. My husband for showing me how to be a parent. And last but always first, Jesus Christ who has promised me that despite my sins His eyes will light up when I arrive in heaven and He will say, "Ah there you are Vivienne!"