Debbie Shaw Is a Vibrant Nation General User subscribe to this blog

Conservative midwestern lifestyle. Married for 43 years until the breakup last fall.

Raised 3 sons, and have 6 grands. Worked in the healthcare field for over 25 years until I had to retire due to health problems. Still adjusting to being retired from my job, retired from being a wife, and really just feeling my way around this new life I have found myself in. Struggling at times with boredom and lonliness ... I know there are opportunities out there for volunteerism that would better fill the void .. just can't seem to put myself out there .. for whatever reason.

Profile Badges Heading

Is a Vibrant Nation General User

my VN interview

How did you get to where you are now?: In the early years of marriage when I was having babies I discovered by husband was "skirt chasing" but didn't have the means or the self confidence to leave or stand up for myself .. as time went on after I had a career I still felt I couldn't do it on my own or he would change .... years and more affairs went by and finally at the age of 60 with poor health I knew I had to change my life for the better because time was running short .. NOW OR NEVER !! The years of emotional and verbal abuse had made me strong .. stronger than I ever thought I could be .. so on a beautiful fall day he was served with papers much to his surprize .. he moved out and moved in with his current girlfriend and I have been at PEACE since.
How do you see yourself differently now than you did 10 years ago?: I am strong, independant ... free .. and at peace with myself and my situation.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?: I hope to be even happier than I am today. I want to work on expanding my circle of friends, become more involved in my church and communtiy. Maybe even find a kind, caring gentleman as a companion ..... wow ..... can't believe I said that. 8 months ago I wanted nothing to do with a man ever again. I must be healing and thats a miraculous thing.

a postcard to my younger self

What ever you do young Debbie, hold yourself dear and close. You are special and worth it all. Never sell yourself short for any one. Cherish the early years with your children for the time passes ever so quickly and can never be redone.

my role models

No one specific ... just other women who have come through a long term marriage on the other side of divorce healed and strong ready to live a full life alone .. or not.

my posts

How to find a suitable housemate

Posted in family & relationships, home & garden, work & money on July 05, 2011

After my divorce early this year I retained a very large 4 bedroom house. I'm okay living alone, but sometimes I think it would be nice to have someone else to share it with. Perhaps a lady of my own age and circumstance. Can this work?read more »

my comments

Response to: Were You Raised to be a Doormat?

Comment posted on February 6, 2012 at 10:16 am:
"I spent 45 years being a " Doormat " for my narccistic husband .. and many of those years were after I had gone to a therapist who diagnosed me as being co-dependant. Would I ever learn to discern the difference between being compassionate and be..." (read comment)

Response to: The New Golden Girls

Comment posted on July 28, 2011 at 9:51 am:
"I am ready to find someone to share my home but am a little uncertain as to how to go about it. No close friends are in a positon to become a house mate and I am a little concerned about just advertising. I think a web site would be the answer. ..." (read comment)

Response to: Friendship

Comment posted on July 6, 2011 at 12:04 am:
"I am in the same boat. My friends were always tied to my job .. no job. no friends ... and again, the ones I do have either work and are married .. or some just seem to be happy sitting on the porch watching life go by. I will surely check out th..." (read comment)