Sixty six years ago I began my life as a tiny scrap of humanity with a definite personality.  Sensitive and tempermental were my names.  It was discovered early on I was willful and a risk taker.  Stories involved joining a pack of K-9 german sheppards for an afternoon and ambling in a pasture with a braham bull.  Life was interesting.

I grew up.  In the sixties I went to college, married twice and had my children.  My breathe was taken away by all the injustice I witnessed; the Vietnam War, the race riots, the social injustice related to race and poverty.  This was the time my consciousness was formed.  Also my need to question, disturst of authority, and anger emerged.

The 70's saw more egregious behavior from our elected officials and business community.  Nixon, Penn Station, and scandal after scandal.  I, meanwhile, got my BA in Accounting and settled down to become another cog in the wheel of commerce.  It took me about six months to determine accounting was never going to be my life's work.  I raised my children as a proper feminist, giving the daughters trucks and cars, investing in MY career, and instilling the will to conquer the world.  You know, "you can be anything you want to be, you can do anything". 

Well, the trucks rusted, my career ambled along, and today, 30 years latter, my daughters are basically stay at home moms and active community members.  They both finished college and have professions but CHOOSE to have time over money and live simply and sustainably.  Go figure.

I changed careers like most people change clothes; I was a system analyst, teacher, and consultant.  I worked for small companies, fortune 500's, and colleges.  I implemented computer systems, built teams, taught lean manufacturing, coordinated initiatives and projects, and was a telecommunications specialist.  I identified with what I did.

Meanwhile, my children refused to be perfect performers in academics, sports, and music.  This willfulness, where did it come from.  We argued, sulked, and went our seperate ways refusing to change becuase it was all the other person's fault.  It was a slippery, sliddy time.  Emancipations, pregnancies, depressions, and overwhelming anxiety. 

One by one we picked ourselves up and made changes to our attitudesa and behaviors.  Wonderful times with the grandchildren followed.  College degrees, professions, and life choices much different than mine.  Thank God! 

My fifteen year old grandson was born old and is my soulmate.  He is so patient and caring besides being talented, smart, and handsome...perhaps somewhat undermotivated and willful. hmmm.

Peter is my darling three year old grandson.  He sparkeles with mischief and intelligance.  He is a great companion and definitely has a mind of his own and speaks it often.

The littlest one, the granddaughter, is two and so precious it takes my breathe away.  She is definite in all her gestures and words.  She not only speaks in sentences and uses the correct pronouns but she speaks with authority at all times.  Yet she is compassionate with her dolls and pets and adores her Nana.  Of course the feeling is mutual.

Their moms are definitely their own individual persons.  One is a photographer and has an eye for the most amazing images.  My oldest daughter is a critical care nurse and part time administrator, she works on weekends and is home all week with her son.   They are persons that love being a mom, sister, daughter, friend, and professional. 

I've retired.  Whewww.  Now my next life can begin.  I am currently working on my masters from a wonderful college in California.  What a privilege to actually go there, meet world class presenters and writers, and become close to wonderful people of all ages.  Awesome.

I garden.  It all started when I decided I hated mowing my small back yard.  So I turned it into an herb garden/cottage garden and their is NO lawn.  Plenty of echnichea, bee balm, bushes, grasses, phlox, and other plants to attract the birds and bees.  This year I expanded the gardening with the help of a friend.  I am hoping for a bumper crop of tomatoes, pepers, zucchini, peas, and other great tasting food.  Of course everything is grown organicly.

I read and am currently writing a book linking science, cosmology, and spirituallity.  I belong to a great group called Green Steps.  We give workshops, do research, and explore our diverse bio region looking for ways to promote a healthy environment.  The focus is on loving all life and sharing our values.

I enjoy life and look forward to the next half of life.  Is everything perfect.  Absolutely no!  Resources are scarce and our world today requires a different perspective on almost everything.  My goodness, be careful what you wish for when you say, "I want to live in interesting times".  The world it is a changin'.  For me, its living respectfully, sustainably, and compassionately.  I am a seeker and I learn as I go.  Its exciting, there is so much to experience and know. 

I must remind myself to go slowly, smell the roses, and enjoy the day.  Rather than "Seize the Day", "Enjoy the Day".

Peace

How did you get to where you are now?

By chance.  I have always been open to opportunites and tended to follow the yellow brick road or vere off the road.  Life has been good even though not perfect or without bumps.  My motto has always been, "All will be well" and "There's always a way".

How do you see yourself differently now than you did 10 years ago?

I'm more confident.  I can enter into and enjoy just "being" without trying to control the situation.  Trying different things without the concern for perfection is so liberating.  Among my tries are gardening, writing, traveling, going green, cooking organic and local. 

I see myself more integrated, interrelated and part of the whole.  Understanding my evolutionary beginnings in the star dust of the universe and the immense power of creative energy has opened a whole new perspective to me. 

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Ten years from now I will be wherever my bliss takes me.  Right now I'm working on a masters and plan to do workshops related to "green", simplicity, developing your purpose, and the New Universe Story.

Working with people and helping them transform their lives and transcend limitations.

Sheila,

Look where we are now!  Sheila, without your ability to march to a different drummer and take risks I wouldn't have grown in understanding, compassion, and peacefulness.

Granted, looking back at your decisions, they could have been better thought out and your actions more closely aligned with your value system.  However, I have stopped judging you and know you did your best at the time.  I'm comfortable with our journey.

My, raising the daughters, certainly opened the door to a lot of questioning of self, trying to be the "perfect mother", and despairing when they weren't perfect.  But I love it when you raised your head from despair and said, "I have faith in their journey, they're have good hearts and a toughness about them that will serve them and the world well.  Guess what?  You were right!  They are loving mothers, great companions, and add zest and purpose to their lives and others. 

You eventually learned nothings perfect or permenant.  Life is short but very broad.  You can't change others but you certainly can change your self.  Always question and never be driven by fear.  All and all you brought me to a great place in my life.  Thanks for the ride.

Hilary Clinton

Dorothy Day

My mother

My daughters

All the mothers raising children in very difficult times.  The smiles on their faces, cheefulness, and deep love for their children inspire me. 

Mohamad Ghandi for his persistent and peaceful protest agains staggering odds.  I'm full of admiration for his ability to try "a different way".

Thomas Berry, the great geologian of our time.  He opened our eyes and hearts to the oneness of all and contributed so much to our understanding of cosmology, spirituality, and a new story to understand our beginnings.  Also he had such a deep respect for all nature and promoted an ecology from the heart.