The tale of two lives: part one

My career started out with the telephone company. I spent 17 years working in various departments, starting as a directory assistance operator (LOL - back when they still had huge paper telephone books and we looked up numbers by hand) to carrier services (think divestiture 1-1-84) to printing your phone bill (a job I actually enjoyed due in full to the supervisors I had) and back to directory assistance (which was pretty much automated now.)

The majority of time I spent doing what is essentially mindless work. Not wanting to become brain-dead, I continually plotted and planned what I was going to do with my life 'when the time was right' and waited. Don't get me wrong, I accomplished quite a bit while working for the phone company. Bought a house, continued my education, traveled. So the job served a purpose, it just left me wanting more out of life.

The timing became 'right' in 1994 when the company offered yet another early retirement package. I had just about had enough of being mindless and thought to myself - how many people in their thirties have this kind of opportunity - to be able to leave the mundane behind and actually do something of value to them? I decided to go for the brass ring and took the early retirement option. 

That year I became a small business owner of a consignment shop. Owning/operating a store front was an exciting adventure with never a dull moment. It did however, require very long hours - not that there wasn't always something to do, because there was - I just ultimately found myself once again feeling amidst the mundane, which is one of the reasons I escaped the phone company. After two years I decided to sell and move on.

I had a few years of, what I now call, transitioning. I went back to corporate America, this time hired in at management level. Managed to survive one relationship that I thought was 'the one' only to discover he was so NOT what I had hoped for. Then to find, what has turned out to be, my true love Gregory.

The tale of two lives: part two

Gregory is and always has been the most kindest, sweetest man I have ever known. We have been together almost 14 years now and still going strong. He is such a kid at heart while also having the heart of 10 men.

Call it fate, call it the 'master plan,' call it the 'ultimate test,' call it whatever you want - Gregory's life (and mine) changed dramatically at 39 y/o with a massive stroke of unknown origin and confirmation of severe health issues unbeknown to him previously. 

As I now watch him move through life, he amazes me everyday with his inner strength and will to live as normally as possible given the hand he's been dealt. His attitude is astounding. He has said it would be fruitless to live 'angry' as it wouldn't make him well. Health problems and all, I would never trade him in. His presence in my life has shaped who I now am, and the good he brings into my life (although he says he doesn't see it) is more than he will ever know.

We had hopes and dreams of what our lives together would be when we first started out. Neither of us ever expected the journey that has brought us to where we are now.

As you can imagine, for me, nothing has been mundane since meeting Gregory. I have learned to live life on the 'scenic' route. After being downsized out of two different jobs within three years, I decided to once again take my income earning into my own hands. In addition to the role of caregiver, I am currently self-employed as an independent contractor doing - you guessed it - customer service, call-center work ... from home. It's by no means the life I expected, however it is the one I have accepted and embraced as my own. I am happy. Somehow I feel this is not only where I want to be, but it is exactly where I am meant to be.

How did you get to where you are now?

I got to where I am now purely through the grace of God.

How do you see yourself differently now than you did 10 years ago?

Throughout my life I never really thought about "50".

In my 20's I was party-gal. At 30 I was kind of depressed as I had not found my "true love." I really wanted to have at least one child, but didn't want to raise the child on my own. At 37 I met Gregory, who turned out to be my true love. But I wasn't at all sure I really wanted to "start" a family that late in life ... not so much the having a child part, it was thinking more so 20 years down the line. And that actually turned out to be a sound decision as Greg was discovered to have severe health issues just before I turned 40.

Throughout my 40's I didn't have much time for any reflection, that decade was almost pure concentration. I spent a good portion learning to be a caregiver, juggling medical issues, work, completely managing our two lives and ultimately most of my mother's life (who now has Alzheimers) in my later 40's.

You know, I will never forget October 4, 1998 -- that is the life changing,  major fork in the road of life day that shattered any hopes, dreams or even passing thoughts I might have had about what my life would have looked like at 50. And now that seems sooooo long ago and so much has happened, I can't even remember what ...

Hey Phil - Glad you were around with big dreams and grand ideas.  Without your open mindedness and moderate risk-taking personality, we would have never experienced all that we have. Oh the fun, the people, the places ... a life time of very fond memories. I am so glad you made decisions based upon the information you had and whether the outcome was good or bad, you learned and lived without regrets. Continue to live with big dreams and grand ideas - doing so has served you well thus far ... you rebel, you! LOL You've faired pretty darn good in life, you are happy. You are exactly where you want be and, most importantly, where you are meant to be.  God Bless You Always!