I was born in Canada and moved to the U.S. when I was 10 years old.  Became a citizen when I was 16.

Married at age 20, thinking I was getting OLD.  Still married to the same man.  We've had our ups and downs.

Two grown (???) children.  Son (31) is Bipolar, extremely bright (computer tech), and focused on recording his first album.  We'll see. Daughter (29) has Asperger's.  Sweet but unmotivated.  Both live at home.

Recently moved from Southern California to Tennessee because of the declining housing values.  Probably a good move but with my husband being unemployed for over a year, we are not in good financial shape.

I'm starting to question some of my life long beliefs and choices.  I suppose that is normal at age 57.

My 83 year old mother lives with us.  Not a choice.  We had to bring her with us.  It's complicated and not always fun.  She is the QUEEN of PASSIVE AGGRESSION.  As they say here in the south, "I love her to death but. . . . ."

My passion is helping people in need.  Wish it made more money but it doesn't.  I can't bring myself to work for more money at a job that I don't feel passionate about.  Is that stupid or reasonable?

I have a very large circle of girlfriends who are my anchor.

How did you get to where you are now?

Trial and error.  Life is uncertain. It's easy to waste a lot of time and effort striving for perfection because no matter how hard you try to control everything, the only control you have is over yourself, your attitude and your reactions to others.

We've made some great decisions and we've made some horrible decisions.  Every time, we made the best choice we thought possible.  Right now, the economy has taken my husband's job away and we are struggling.  Two years ago we made a few investments that didn't work out and that hasn't helped much either.  But it is what it is. 

How do you see yourself differently now than you did 10 years ago?

Ten years ago:

• I was determined to stay a size 6.  Now, I dream about a size 12.
• I used to feel responsible for my adult children's happiness.  Can't be done.
• I thought my body strength would last at least 20 more years.  Huh!
• I felt that it was OK to reveal my personal beliefs to anyone who asked.  Now I know it can only start trouble.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

In 10 more years, I think I'll be fine with whatever life has given me.  Good or bad. 

I've learned to roll with the punches.  The pendulum of life swings both ways.

 

Dear Y.S.,

You have been given the gift of a wonderful upbringing and a  foundation to build on.  Finding a husband who loves you unconditionally is so important.  Realize that no one is perfect (even if they think they are) and unless the bad outweighs the good, find a way to deal with it!

Your ability to roll with the punches will be a gift.  The right attitude can make all the difference.

All along, you have known you were loved unconditionally by so many and you recognized that it was not something everyone experiences.  Pass that along to your children and close friends. Be the model of kindness and tolerance your whole life.  Once you are gone, people will remember you most for how you made them feel when they were with you.

You are going to make a lot of mistakes and poor decisions.  That's normal.  Everyone does that.  Learn from them, pick yourself up and keep going.  Just remember that sometimes the answer to a problem is choosing the better of two evils.  Life isn't fair for anyone.  And everyone you meet, no matter what they show on the outside, is dealing with something they wish were different. 

Keep your standards high, look for the good in others, keep the glass half full and don't let toxic people stay in your life.  You cannot save the whole world.

My mother, for teaching me to use my head and avoid unnecessary drama.

My late father, for teaching me that unconditional love can make ALL the difference in someone's life.  AND, CASH is KING!  NO CREDIT CARDS!!!!!

My late grandfather, for modeling patience and the ability to listen.  He was a marvelous teacher.

My mother-in-law, for modeling what I should do if ever I wanted to alienate friends and family.  No thanks.

My BEST friend, J, for showing me that life doesn't always have to be serious.  Laughter and play are so important in our daily living.

My son, Steve, for finally getting it through my thick skull that following your passion is more important to your inner peace than going for the big bucks.

My daughter,  for modeling that tenacity works.

My late brother, for demonstrating the power of silence.

My former employer, Disneyland, for teaching me the real way to treat guests (customers/clients).

My dear friend, P. for showing me the necessity of boundaries and the appropriate ways to be generous.

My late friend, R, who demonstrated wonderful communication between a husband and wife like few others.

My dear friend, P, who is proof that a single gal can make it on her own, no matter what.  And she does it with a tender heart and a big smile!